I am always angry at one particular thing. My best "friend". We used to be so close but know she is constantly bragging about the amounts of money she spends (I'm not able too spend those amounts). She is also a major copycat. I'm more of a gothic person and enjoy dark things. She is not like that. Recently, she went and bought a pair of platform heels, even though she knows I've been looking for a pair. And to put a cherry on top I got my industrial pierced. Now, because she doesn't want me getting attention (not that I care tbh) she wants to get her belly button pierced. And no I'm not paranoid about this because she's actually told me that she does these things to make me jealous since I work for my stuff and she can just get it instantly. Okay, I'm done ranting now.
Because my cousin's dog peed on my bed
I'm angry because Im not the best person yet I am constantly told I am perfect, amazing and such. I have things I need to change, I need to become a better person but I don't know how. And then others say I don't need to change which makes me confused and scared. So Im mad at myself for just being such a jerk.
Of my shitty eating habits...i was over-eating the whole day again. I would like to go out but hot or too sunny days are depressive for me and i have to survive this terrible weather at home 🤷
Nobody treats me seriously.
i moved to what seemed to be a barn that was full of potential to become somewhere i would be proud to keep my horse at. ever since i started training with a trainer who was not the main farm trainer, she has gone through so much bullying by the current barn trainer who can't even follow the simplest rules when at a barn. the barn itself has double almost triple the amount of horses they can manage sustainably and they will not listen to anyone who knows what theyre talking about and listen to the barn manager who doesn't know what she's doing and is in denial that she actually is ruining the business. last night they took on three more horses which they already dont have room for and i had to ask where my horse will be as far as what field because every field is already overcrowded and she treated me as if i had no idea how barn life works and used the whole "you're young" excuse on me. so i flipped out on her and she just laughed in my face.
I have been over eating and being lazy all these days when I should be getting ready for the job market. My uselessness is frustrating.
i have completely made a fool out of myself today left myself without any respect or dignity thinking everyone is caring that person always no matter if they in the wrong make me grovel and act like a idiot mind games is what they play and i am playing right into their hands talk about a big fat bully without any manners or loyalty two face
Well i am always a happy person, but reccently my gf just ended the relationship because the difficulties me and her been going through, wished me and her lasted we were stronge than that. so its a little upsetting because she broke itoff because im trying to join the military and she wanted be to go straight to college instead.
I procrastinated a lot today and if I dont start getting my head down Ill get behind.
