Today I am angry because I haven't been feeling like myself. I'm angry with myself for not being motivated to do anything that I'd like to. I hate that I haven't been able to take on any member chats because of this. I feel horrible for practically ignoring the ringing of new members requesting help. I don't know what's happening but I want it gone. I want to be my motivated self again.
I am emotionally distressed and confused... People don't lie when they say that it is painful to wait for something that you want to happen when there is an 80% chance that what you want will come to play. A few weeks ago, I was relaxing at my local bubble tea shop wasting time as I just wanted some alone time with the complimentary wifi that was provided on store grounds. Being a teenager and all, a boy comes up to me that seems to be my age :) He apologized for disturbing me since apparently to him, I looked startled in which I wasn't. I was surprised a really cute guy came up to me. He asked for my name and of course my number, then we started talking. We texted daily and called daily. The weirdest part of our so-called relationship with each other was that we started sleeping on calls. We would talk for hours. During the earlier days of us getting to know each other, we started at 11 pm all the way to 6 am. Now that it has been weeks of us talking, we just call at 11 pm, talk for a couple of hours, then sleep on the call. The longest call that we had of us talking and sleeping was 10 hours. Our phones wouldn't let us go past 10 hours as it automatically ends the call. Every day, we would never go to bed without calling each other. We basically made it our daily routine to not sleep by ourselves but to sleep on the call. I would hear him snore and shift at the other side of the call. To some people, it would be annoying, but to me, it felt comforting that he was there. We have gone out on dates as in the movies since he works at the movies. We would get free tickets to watch any kind of movie we wanted. We've also gone out for Pho and walked around the streets of Richmond at night, visiting 24-hour stores and just admiring each other. He would always call me beautiful, cute, pretty, a model, a princess... He would always remind me each time we talk that he was so glad to meet me and that he cannot believe that he got to know such a wonderful, beautiful, caring girl like me. I wasn't sure if it was true because I always feel ugly and disgusting all the time, but hearing those words from him, I felt special. I would always beat him in arcade games, basketball, Tekkan, and as well as 8 Ball Pool. But something has happened...
Something has changed :( We have arranged a day that would we hangout which was on a Friday and it was literally the perfect day. My parents were out across the border and aren't back in two days. So it was perfect for me to go out all night or at least invite him over. I know for sure that he was excited to see me as well. But as I was getting ready to meet him, he texted me that he was no longer able to meet... That his dad wouldn't let him. I was upset of course, but I didn't show it. I told him that it was okay and that I understand that he should just stay home since the other night he was out till 4 am and probably have gotten his dad upset. Few minutes have gone by and I got another text from him. He told me that his dad was going to be taking his phone away and that he is really upset with his parents. Of course, I understood him so I apologized for what has happened in his household and waited...
I sent him a long paragraph about how much he meant to me and how happy he made me feel. I even attached a couple of audio recordings into the message to enhance everything since he has always wanted to hear me sing but I was always shy ever since he learned that I was in a band and that I record covers at my studio. I was so happy and excited for him to read my message. But he wasn't able to read it at all the day I sent it to him. The next day has gone by and I woke up to no response. Of course, it made my heart sunk but I knew he didn't have his phone with him so I just went on with my day trying not to be sad about it. As the nightfall, I finally got a message back from him. He texted "I am at a friend's house and I managed to get my phone back but only for a bit". I was a bit sad that he didn't give a reaction to my paragraph but I was happy that I was able to message him back. I asked him about the message I sent to him, he replied that he has read it and that it was sweet. But something was off. I noticed that the way he was texting me was so different from the way he used to text me before. Before, he would always text me words that were slurred (ex. hiii, i read it anddd it was sooo sweeetttt). This form of texting always tells me that he was happy. But that wasn't the way he texted me on that very day. He messaged me in bold solid phrases. I asked if he was alright and that if he was okay. He replied (i am okay) as opposed to how he used to text me before (dww i am okayyy). This made me feel extremely worried and if I am honest, my heart stung. I told him that I didn't believe that he was okay and he proceeded to tell me that he didn't know how to convince me which was unlikely of him. From then on, he never replied to me on that day as I believed that his phone was taken away again. The next day, no reply back. It was quiet and I felt pain.
Like every teenager, I did streaks with him on Snapchat. I would go on to do my normal routine to streak every morning and every night with my friends, and what triggered me so much was that I could see him opening my streaks sent to him. I was enraged with pain. Does he have his phone? Why hasn't he replied to me on iMessage? Is he ignoring me? More importantly, is he not interested anymore? I message him on Snapchat as a DM just to see if he would answer me on Snapchat since he wouldn't reply to me on iMessage, but surprisingly, he doesn't open my DM. I stayed up very late that night trying to get my head straight, watching Netflix, carefully and patiently waiting for a reply from him or a notification on Snapchat of him typing. To my surprise, at 3 am in the morning, I got a notification that he was typing on Snapchat. I proceed to open the message and he responded with an "I just snuck my phone away from my dad, but I have to put it back soon". I was happy! but I had to ask him questions about what was going on. It has been three days and I was getting a bit skeptical. I asked him why he wasn't responding to me through iMessage and that he was opening my snaps. He replied that he has just gotten his phone since yesterday and that it was probably his friend doing his streaks. I understood that theory. Then I asked if he was for sure alright, and of course, he told me that he was okay. I then told him that things just didn't feel the same anymore, and shockingly, he never replied back. I fell asleep waiting for him to reply in which he never did. The next day, I sent a streak to him. He never opened it until later in the day. Yet again, he opens my message but no reply back. I was coming to a conclusion that he most likely not interested anymore but I didn't want to give up, he hasn't given me a clear reason or explanation to what's going on. I will stop when he tells me to stop because all of this that is happening to me is worrying me and it is painful. I have fallen to love this guy after everything we have been through. I sent him a 38-minute audio recording of me talking and expressing my feelings towards him and how I feel about this whole situation in iMessage. He always told me that he loves my voice because my voice sounds so calm and gentle, sweet and cute. But it was probably a shortcut into saying that my voice sounds really high and young. I am only 17 and he is too haha. I sent it through iMessage and hoped for the best. Couple days have gone by and it has been 4 days since everything has fallen apart. Two days with no response or anything, not even a definite reason for what is going on. I have never experienced my phone taken away for almost 5 days so I'm not sure if what is happening is true or not anymore. He hasn't tried to make sure I wasn't worried that he would be back.. that everything would be back to normal. He did not reassure me over the number of times he was able to since he would always try to sneak his phone away. Maybe this was hardcore punishment. We are both Asian. He loves to smoke weed, vape, stay out late. He was honestly the perfect bad boy you would see in movies. So maybe his punishment was one week with no phone. I really don't know what is going on and as I am typing right now, still no reply to my 38-minute audio that I have sent to him yet.
I have recently messaged him. I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't be worried over all of this and that I should just live my life before I met him. I messaged him "I won't stop worrying till you tell me to stop, then I'll leave you alone. I don't know what is happening... and it is causing me so much pain.."
Wish me luck in this situation... I really need your opinion... is he ghosting me? or is this just a family situation he is going through and I should just wait it out and understand what is going on with little information. Should I just give up or have the courage that he will come back...
I NEED THOUGHTS AFTER READING MY STORY :(
@kaylaerica16. Hey i see what your going through. Honestly every household is different. His phone is probably still taken away and i suggest you not to give him up. About the reading your snapchats thing it really could be one of his friends maybe. I dont think either of you should give up on each other because you guys seem like you really care about each other and what if this is the kind of love you will never get over, or never find again? being that you say you guys are teenagers, i am one too. Maybe next time when he sneaks his phone, try to ask him what exactly he got his phone taken away for and how long, if you dont already know. Maybe your worrying too much. Calm down, know that everything is okay, and the fact that you guys arent completely ended should be music to your ears. Do you know any of his friends? can you ask any of them? The only thing im confused about is you say he said he texted you and said he was at a friends house and he managed to get his phone back, im just confused why he didnt text you on his way to the friends house? or instead of going to the friends house, why didnt he arrange to go to you? you also say he wasnt replying the way he normally does, maybe he was busy or had a friend replying for him... im not exactly sure what to say there but im trying to give you hope because there definetly is some. God for bid, which by your story i doubt, he is ghosting you, you should let him go. but it would be weird that he suddenly just changes his mind and doesnt want to speak with you, unless he was influenced by his friends, or maybe his family found out about you and didnt like it? im not sure sweetheart but have hope and dont give up! even if this one doesnt work out, your still young. theres always a possibility you can find another.
@BabygirlTee Hi there! thank you so much for the response :) I really appreciate it. As of the day that I posted this, I still haven't gotten a response back from him... and you are right, why hasn't he tried to message me instead of being at a friends.. I'm giving this at least one week because I feel like his punishment is atleast 1 week. If i don't get a response back, im going to just look at this situation and him being all just a dream. All i want is a reason to what is happening and he hasn't given me a definite answer. I'm left hanging and worrying cause I care about him so much. I will have to keep update with this thread because I seem to find comfort typing out my problems on this site. Thank you so much for the reply :) I honestly do appreciate your help :)
Because my boss acted like a jerk and treated me rudely.
-Spent all day at the DMV WAITING FOR 5 HOURS for my ID
-LOST MY WALLET WITH ALL OF MY MONEY AND MY DEBIT CARD AND the student ID THAT I JUST GOT
-My "friend" doesn't hang out with me anymore
@purpledoggo5900
i was angry cause i hate myselff
I am angry because
-Nobody understands my feelings
-My boyfriend doesnt know how I feel
-I am just very upset and hurt right now
My husband ignores me, gaslights, lies constantly, blames me for all of his bad choices and then tells me that he loves me. He is a horrible husband and a bad parent and I just wish I wasn't so stuck!!!!!!! 😢
@Sheenao
OMG! Mine is the exact same way. I used to react out of instinct, I felt like I was always under attack. He acted like he was some kind of saint for being with me after HIS ACTIONS sent me off the deep end. It's REALLY HARD but I started having to practice calming skills. I had to learn not to react. I started saying things like I'm sorry you feel that way, would you like to watch a movie with me ..... Or I'm sorry that something I've done has made you upset, what would you like for dinner tonight. Between the nice approach and the redirecting, I had him to confused to keep on
Im sick of being treated like Im crap. Im always there for people and people just walk all over me its so annoying
This lady assumed that a shooting that took placed happened at my apartment complex. Just like people automatically assume that I live in subsidized housing or income based housing. Then are suprised that I
I can
I just feel so lost again like idk maybe its because Im nervous about school but Im just feeling like everything is going to crap. And my Eating problems have come back.
