Hello my name is Tyler , and I am a Depressed Alcoholic
Hey everybody!
I am here because my life has hit a wall and I need to address my mental health in a major way finally. I am 37 and have lived with depression for over 20 years. I didn't know this fact, or address it until now, I coped with alcohol and working. I was a chef for many years and it also took its toll.
I had a beautiful family for 4 years until my depression got too much. I was sober for 7 months but had lied about relapsing before, and my partner didn't believe me or trust me anymore and soon kicked me out. I had to move and lost my job and it was a sad 2 months, where I drank again and fell into the most profound depression of my life. now, 10 months post-separation I learned my partner has started dating someone and it devastated me and I fell into an even deeper depression and started ideating ending my life.
Now I am 4 days sober, and the thoughts of ending things are fading but the depression lingers deep within me and I felt for a long time there is no way to get better. Now I have 2, and soon 3 counselors, started a mental health *** so I can share my story, being on the wait list for DBT groups, and relapse prevention groups, and am going to try antidepressants for the first time in my life.
it is a crazy journey, I'm terrified every day, and never sleep, I'm so tired of feeling sad, so so tired. But we arent alone.
@SoberLife
Congratulations on starting again to be sober and address your depression .....a big step and there are many people in similar shoes ....... my spouse being one .........
it is hard on relationships.
@toughTiger6481
Sorry that you are going through that, if only my partner had the patience to help me change. I applaud the strength of your love. Thank you for your kind words!
@SoberLife
You are headed in the right direction, I still struggle but the number of good days now outnumbers the bad ones, learn grounding techniques because self discovery takes getting out of your own way. I had to learn that and I was very stubborn lol
You've got this!!~
Blessings, Day
@SoberLife
Hello there!
Glad you joined, hopefully to be here will help you in this difficult moment 💙
You are trying hard and giving your best, probably that's the number one achievement to congratulate you for, more than success itself, that will come later on in steps!
As a Newbie I share some info for you : You can surf the forum and see if there is any sub-community you would like to join, click HERE
There is also the sharing circle that welcome people to join and share with the support of those listening, it's a group support that happens in a room (not sure if you use the App or the browser like me, in this case the rooms can be found at the left side of your screen ).
Sending you good vibes, keep on going and feel free to post in the Forum Area to feel we won't leave you alone!
Take care Tyler!
@SoberLife
Tyler, congratulations on your new found sobriety that is a great step! I am 6 years into my path of sobriety and I can identify with your feelings and thoughts. My path started with the program called AA Alcoholics Anonymous where I found meetings nearby and starting reading the AA book and could see so many similarities to my life. I met so many great guys and found a sponsor who has helped me by listening to the many crazy thoughts in my head and helped me see how crazy some of them really are. My involvement in this program has helped me to - get out of my own head - and think more about others, which in itself has been a relief for me. My head is no place to be!
I wish you the very best in your journey but remember all that counts is today! True sobriety is not measured in days, months, years - but only the time you are sober today!
Hello Tyler,
Reach out to me if you need to talk. It is absolutely horrible to go through all these. You are not alone, I am sure there are many many listeners here who would say this. Don't let your current thoughts distort the abundance around you. They may be silent or not visible right now and it may not be the whole picture.
All the best, take good care.