Help me cope with bullies
I can not stand authoritarian, rigid, harsh, black-or-white thinking, egocentric people lacking in true empathy.
@helloCranberry5684 Try not to become a bully yourself.
See that is what bullies want, to see others became one.
They do not like it when, people do not bully others.
I am sorry you was bullied, in the past.
Stay strong.
Please do not let anyone bully you,if they do, you can file a complaint with your local police department.
I hope this helps.
@helloCranberry5684 I cannot either. There are way too many of them. What I try to keep in mind is that I am more affected by them if I keep them in my mind. It’s easier said than done, but I have to at least take a break from my anger with them. My anger hurts me and they are essentially unaffected by it, no matter how much I persist in my hatred of them. Knowing this helps me to hold less tightly to my anger. Perhaps learn how to meditate and live in the present. If the bully is not in the same room with you, there are a million better and more pleasant things to keep in your mind. I hope this helps.
@helloCranberry5684
Too many people in my life are that way. I've been told that I'm "big mad" and it's largely because of people like that. They ignore the inherent flaws of how their approach does nothing except allow them to close their eyes to other points of view and pretend they can know best from that standpoint.
My approach is staying friendly and non-confrontational, but speaking precisely and somewhat forcefully. If they aren't so bad, you might earn a bit of respect... And if you get them to think about your words, it's almost kinda adorable when you see the wheels turning in their head. They'll probably stay just as rigid, but maybe they come to find they can't ignore that a person they respect comes to completely different conclusions.
I honestly wish I knew what more I could do though. The closer you get to people like that... It usually hasn't been especially good for me. They don't tend to be true friends from my experience. And what to do about them in the big picture? It's an issue. There's way too many like that, and they're pretty good at screaming over everyone else.
@Torean I know there is a book about how to try to change peoples mind on a topic they are entrenched in. I think it is a slow process though. One of the methods was to ask them what they believe and then after really sincerely listening to them, you ask them, “and how sure are you of that fact (like percent sure).” If you have shown you’re really interested and then follow with this it is supposed to get them to think more deeply, if even for a few seconds. If you’re not sincere, they will just keep their guard up. … Anyway, I think we value our ideas very strongly, almost as if they are part of our identity. I know someone who is totally intractable and I came to the conclusion that I am probably just as intractable in my stance. I have a lot more solid evidence (in my mind) than they do. I have decided it isn’t my job to change their mind. I don’t want to even work that hard to try. Learning a little bit about how humans can entrench around their ideas let’s me forgive them and myself to some extent.
@helpfulAvocado7912
That's true, and I honestly feel much the same. So what else have you learned about how people entrench in their ideas? I agree, it's a lot of effort to change someone's mind sincerely, and I don't know that it's my exact end goal. I'm the kind of person that wants to learn from the person I'm arguing with, although that's difficult when they just get defensive and insist on parroting what they've been told that they want to hear. If I want to combat anything, it's that bullying stubbornness mindset in the big picture.
