Hi all.
I am a 29 years old woman, engaged to a lovely man.
Our relationship, It has not been all beautiful and romantic.
We have been facing a difficult time recently which means in my case we argue a lot, a lot, never about cheating or cheated but we are so tired of fighting. I hope this app and community are going to influence me for the better.
I am here alone not as a couple but I want to maintain myself and secure my relationship.
I know you all have different problems, but I am happy to see you all here trying to love yourselves and cope with whatever you’re facing.
You are great!
@Anzu930217
it is good to work on yourself makes it easier to ride out any storm in a relationship
@Anzu930217
I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room where 7Cups.com members will
listen to you and support you.
Am here
@Anzu930217
heyy, i really hope things workout for you.
@Anzu930217
In my experience, it is always a good idea to reflect and try to understand what is the underlying cause of the current turn of events. Sometimes it could be a difference of opinion or sometimes it could be caused by not feeling heard and a mismatch in communication. For example - person A talks about issue 1 but person B misunderstands what person A is trying to communicate and this escalates the discussion as frustration and emotions can increase.
Overall my opinion is in these types of scenarios, approach communication with respect, try to be understanding and maintain that on both sides, perhaps outline rules of engagement at the very beginning of how you will both communicate and give each other the air time, no interuptions, try to really understand what each person is communicating. Then find a way forward, afterwards if you both feel heard and are willing to make changes and put solutions in place, you are then on the path forward. Try not to let things get heated and nasty as that can create toxicity and create wounds.
Hi friend
Communication is key in any relationship. I suggest both of you to talk more about the stuff know each other more and see both of you can improve. Here u are never alone if you feel you want to talk more always feel free to drop a message. we all are here to help u and make u smile. Hope u will be happy and enjoy a good life with ur man
@Anzu930217 Sending supportive thoughts...it's lovely that you're doing the work right now to figure out how to make it work with your fiance.
Just remember you don't have to commit if you ultimately realize that you're truly incompatible...even if you're engaged right now. You're not a bad person if you need to break-up...even if that person is an angel of a person. Sometimes an amazing and wonderful person just really doesn't fit with you. Their personality might even make you sick for completely neutral reasons. Example would be: are you super introverted and they are super extroverted? Trying to meet them half-way might actually exhaust you and make you ill. Other reasons might be that you don't agree on when and if you want children. You might love him so much that you might be willing to make a big sacrifice...but you really have to evaluate if it's going to bring out the best in you or if it will destroy your happiness. It's a lot!!!
Lots of arguments could just be a communication problem. If you're BOTH working on it, then there's hope. But if the other person won't be vulnerable or take responsibility. It's a red flag. Something like this will only get enormously magnified after years of marriage. So it's good you're taking it seriously right now.
@Anzu930217
Thank you for sharing your story and being here to find and give support. I hope this community helps you, we are here for you!
