MJ
I'm MJ and I am having a hard time finding someone to talk to. Almost every listiner has either pretty much ignored me or just stopped talking in the middle of the xhat. IvI' tried verified listiners and everything. I don't know how many more times i can be ignored.
@MJ420
If you are willing to chat in the forum here, to me, out in the open, I'm ok with that.
@DavidEss
I suppose i could do that
@MJ420
Go for it. I'll reply when I can.
@DavidEss
Well I'm 13 and i still wet myself day and night doesn't matter, I never know i need to go i just do. I've been to doctors and specialist's and a couple of psychiatrist. The docs say that there is no medical or psychial reason for me to wet myself. The psychiatrist said that deep down inside i want and need to be a little girl, so my mind let's me wet myself. My parents treat me like a child,they say that it's best for me. I have to wear pull ups when I do know i need to use the bathroom i have to ask to be taken. At home I'm not allowed to wear bottoms just my pull ups and my shirt can't come below the waist band of my pull ups.
I guess that it in a nutshell.
@MJ420
That sounds very difficult, very difficult indeed. I remember still having to take extra pants into school, "just in case" and how difficult that made it for me, and I was quite a bit younger than your age.
What is school like for you?
@DavidEss
School is extremely difficult as now everyone at school knows i wear pull ups now. A girl in gym class pulled my shorts down in front of everyone boys and girls.
@MJ420
another thing is, I think I may have figured out why a lot of listeners can't work with you. It could be because they are not cleared to work with young teens. Unfortunately, I'm not cleared to work with yu in a private chat either, so let's just see how we go.
MJ, you need to make sure that you are not using your username anywhere but on this website. We're talking about really private and personal stuff, and I don't want it to come back on you becasue someone finds out who you are, right? - if yu need to, you can change your username on your profile to whatever you like.
@rumplesteeleskin
@DavidEss
This is the only place i use that username has i have no other accounts. I have had a number of listiners who are able to chat with teens and they pretty much all ignored me more or less.
@MJ420
Sounds like this girl at school disrespected you. Children can be very cruel. My guess is that most of the others were embarrassed for you rather than on her side, but even so. Do you have any support at the school?
As far as other listeners on this site, I'm hoping you have just had technology breakdowns. I hope at some point that you will trust enough to choose a listener and try again. Can you imagine that's possible?
Thanks for reassuring me about the unique nickname.
@DavidEss
HAs far as school goes i have a few friends but she's one of the popular girls.
Has far as listiners go i will probably try again i did just the other day and she stopped talking in the middle of the chat. ItsI happened to many times to be technical issues. I had one actually tell me she didn't think id care if she didn't reply.
@MJ420
Bullies often appear popular at school, but it's only that most children will try and stay on the right side of them if at all possible.
As far as your listener experience goes, do you make a note of their nicknames so you can reach out to them an hour later and ask what happened? That might bridge the technical issues for you and give you some continuity. Also, did you reply to the listener who said that she wasn't sure you would care if she didn't reply? I am wondering if you were able to express your feelings about that to her, and let her know exactly how much you cared.
Something like: I may not be coming across to you like I really appreciate your support, but that's because I find it hard to express myself, and that gets in the way. Yes please, keep replyining, and if I take time to respond it's that I'm feeling anxious and upset about what to say.
Obviously that's just an example, you would have to say what's true for you.
What is true for you? You could practice a reply on here, then if it's always the same difficulty idk you could cut and paste it, stick it on your profile, whatever....
@DavidEss
I recently reached out to several of them. The one responded back asked if i wanted to try again. What sucks is i never know when imI going to be on.
@MJ420
Yes, that is difficult. At your age you don't have a lot of control over your time.
I'm very glad that you are giving them another chance. Hopefully you will find one from the same time zone who you will get along with.
@DavidEss
I have my bf I talk to, but mostly she agress with my parents that being treated like a child is what's best for me. I really trust her she's never lied to me or let mr down. So when she says it i doubt myself and wonder if there right and maybe i should just go along with it.
@MJ420
Look, mj, it's not for me to say what's right and what's wrong. But we are holding a conversation with long and correctly spelled words, lol, which allows me to imagine that there is an intelligence there.
I would imagine that you would benefit from getting into books, the classics for young women , and that will improve your emotional intelligence and give you some vicarious experiences somewhat different to watching The Real Housewives of Anywhere , etc etc..
Do you agree?
@DavidEss
I think I get what you're saying. I don't watch alot of tv and what I'm allowed to watch at home is usually kids shows.
I don't read alot for the same reason. I have a number of books for various ages about potty training. I have a few others.
I like to think I'm smart. Just appenterley not enough to figure out what's going on or how to best deal with it.
@MJ420
There are plenty of websites, like goodreads, which can suggest useful books for you, if you decide you would like to read them.
I hope you are using listeners when you can.
And you can post on this thread anytime if you would like to contact me.
@DavidEss
Any suggestions on books? I have no clue what to read.
@MJ420
Do an internet search on
Books for teenage girls.
I did, there's enough on there to keep you going until you reach 35!
@DavidEss
Been a minute since i tried a listiner
@MJ420
Well done for trying. If you have stuff to talk through, try again. It can take a while to find the right person for you.
@DavidEss
Thanks for the suggestion of books I'll have to try and see what i can find to read online cause I'm really restricted on what I can have to read.
I know you can't tell me what to do. But can you please talk with me about how I'm treated and stuff like that. I really feel like I want to talk someone about all this.
@MJ420
Tbh that will be really difficult for me, because I don't have experience of working with girls your age.
So, yes, I'm willing, but you will have to tell me what is helpful and what isn't , what feels true for you and what doesn't, in my replies. And also you will have to decide when you want to take a break too.
I'm guessing that will be hard work for you, too?
@DavidEss
Ok thanks.
Here's the thing. I often feel bad when i wet myself even though logically I know i can't help it,bu b then i think that my doctor's said that there is no medical or psychial reason for me to wet myself so i think why can't I help it? I'd like to an average teen but I also want to be"good" for lack of a better word and listin to my parents.
I hope this made sense. I don't have a problem with letting you know what is working or not.
@MJ420
You have described your dilemma in a very elegant way.
I have a story in my head, and I need you to tell me where I'm wrong, ok?
When the human race was young, children who didn't get love from their parents died off pretty quickly. So, in what Darwin described as 'survival of the fittest' those babies who could tune in to their mothers every sign of approval and disapproval survived, and those who didn't died. And this is so no matter what mum liked or didn't like. Baby had to fit in.
But baby didn't have the experience to get the reasoning behind things, and for one baby in particular, wetting herself became associated with a neat way to keep mother's attention and affection (ie life). And as she got older maybe the characteristics of the attention altered, but to a child often the quantity of attention is what is important. Being ignored would have felt like a living death.
What do you think? How do you feel when you read this?
@DavidEss
It's kinda sad but I see what you're saying. As far as I can remember,mom was always affectionate. We didn't have alot when I was little Mom slept on the couch i slept in a baby bed. I was like 6 or so. Then mom met my step dad. Gtg 4 now. I'll finish when I get back.
@MJ420
The being treated this way didn't really start until around the same time mom took me to the doctor for my wetting. when they started saying there's no reason for it and refered me to specialist they said the same thing. Then mom's friend suggested that I see a psychiatrist. She said that deep down inside i want and need to be a child which she said was why i wet myself. After that i was treated more like a 3 yr old than my age. I know I was still little but still.
@DavidEss
Found a listiner YES!!!! 😀😀😀 Finally.. I'll still talk to you too. You're really nice and that means alot to me.
I hope that that story isn't true for me I hope imI not doing for attention w/o realizing it.
@MJ420
Whatever the story is, be it medical or psychological, knowledge is power!
If my story is right, you can begin to undo it by dealing with the wetting secretly at home, as much as you can, and noticing how you feel .
Thanks for the compliment . I'm delighted that teen listeners are queuing up to chat to you , and I'll always reply to you here.
@DavidEss
You have been awesome to me and i can't thank you enough for that. Your really nice and i look forward to talking with you more.
@DavidEss
How you today
@MJ420
doing well ty. Sorry for the delay in replying
It's morning here and I've been asleep , and done some meditation . [virtuous smug smile].
What about you ?
@DavidEss
No problem whenever you get a chance.
I'm in my room it's almost 4 am probably going to bed soon
Glad you're doing good, you meditate?
@MJ420
Yes, nearly every day. I would say it's one of the foundations of my life.
There's plenty of guided meditations on this site, under Mindfulness.
@DavidEss
Ok cool I'll have to check them out.
@DavidEss
I've tried to meditate but it's hard to xoconcentra.
@MJ420
Yes. Well, if you were trying to concentrate, then you were meditating, and if you carry on with that, it would be helpful to you.
When you can concentrate on your breath or whatever for half an hour, you don't need to do it any more. Don't confuse the eventual result, with the point of the exercises
@DavidEss
I don't do for that long i have a hard time sitting still.
@MJ420
Oh, these meditators have an answer for everything lol. You can look up walking meditation on youtube.
Thich nhat hahn walking meditation .
@DavidEss
Ok thanks i will
Btw my step dad made me an offer. I can start wesrwew cloth training pants with plastic pants over them but i either have to drink ftfr a baby bottle or sleep in a baby bed and if there's no improvement in my wetting in a year then i have to go back to diapers for good.
I've heard that beacuse I'm so use to wetting in pull ups that changing to wearing something else could help me stop wetting myself. What do you think about this? Just looking for an opinion here. You seem really smart so thought I'd ask.
@MJ420
thank you for the compliment, but I have absolutely no idea.
@DavidEss
Ok thanks anyway. I was hoping but that's ok. Just trying to get feedback.
@MJ420
Im 15 and Ive had the same issue my whole life...oh my god, its so comforting to read someone else going through the same thing. It seems impossible to find any support! Im here for you and I completely understand how frustrating it is to have such a lack of control and feel so different and insecure. My problem has gone mostly away by now but at 13 I was definitely still dealing with it.
@kgrace18
Thanks for sharing this with me. I'm glad yours stopped. IllI talk to you if you want.
@kgrace18
Thanks for the support and encouragement it means a lot.
@kgrace18
Hi there. Just wanted to say hi.
@kgrace18
Hi
Hi! Intern waiting for his MD degree here. Its not a huge problem.
Try a genitourinary specialist and more importantly, a neurologist. Its probably a sphincter control defect caused by an improper innervation. Dont worry.
Bests; AcKh
P.S. im no listener but i can visit this forum if i know how @-ing works in this site
@AcetylKholine
Hi thanks for the advice. I have been to doctors and specialist's and psychiatrist and I've been probed scanned and poked and talked to everything you can imagine. I think I've seen every type of doctor out there.
@MJ420 is it hereditary?
@AcetylKholine
No no one in my family has had this problem. I've been to a neurologist. Has far as the other type you mentioned i have no clue. I've been to so many doctors i can't count. I'm not sure if you read everything but I would welcome your feedback.
@MJ420 because Ive seen this before a few years ago. We had a female case with very poor continence. We treated with her by injecting a specific dose of butox near her urethra. 4 years later, she is still OK. maybe talk with a plastic surgeon
@AcetylKholine
Ok I'll mention it to my parents
@MJ420 hi you can message me anytime MJ i cant promise that life wont ever call me away but i would let you know where im going if it ever does and explain and i only talk to 1 person at a time so youll have my full attention if you do message me
@jennysunrise8
Thanks so much that's awesome of you. I will.
Welcome
@Josalaljos04
How you doing?
@Josalaljos04
Welcome?
@Josalaljos04
Thanks for the welcome
im not on here very often (since im just reading ur post), but my heart goes out to you. Im sorry I dont have advice. Does setting a clock to wake you every 2 hrs to go to bathroom help any? or using a pad (made for urinary incontinenece) make it any easier at school? I just wanted you to know that your story broke my heart and I said a prayer for you. hang in there ! There has to be an answer to your problem out there !❤️
@closeriamtofin
Thanks for replying. And thanks for the prayers. No it doesn't help and right now i wear cloth training pants with plastic pants over them during the day.
I would love to talk to you more if you like. Have a great day.
