Nothing important
Honestly, I don’t know where to start.
I thought I would tell the whole story of my life but I think it’s unnecessary. The thing is, I’m very miserable, I’ve always been and I it feels like I always will be. I caused so much pain to people I love and I feel like I let down every person in my life. I feel empty and tired and I really hate myself. I sometimes wanted to end my life but it would cause even more suffering to my loved-ones so I won’t do it. But I wish I could simply stop existing and disappear from other people’s memories, but I can’t. Every day I wake up and have no idea why, every night I go to sleep and hope next day will not come. Recently, I met someone (I’m 24 and it’s the first time I’m in love) I really like this person and I think they like me back. However, now I’m feeling even worse. I have nothing to offer, I’m empty and lifeless … I just know it won’t work, I gave up on myself long time ago and now I think it’s too late.
It feels like I’m constantly drowning but I can’t die or lose consciousness. Every day is more exhausting than the previous one.
I don’t really know why I’m writing this… I don’t want consolation or empathy but I just wish I could be heard once in my life.
@Nobody7753000000 Hey :) I hear you. You have alot of the same thoughts I do. Like you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole. I'm sorry you're dealing with all these thoughts and feelings too. It's a rough place to be. It's never too late to grow as a person - to find joy in living. I think it's something alot of people are struggling with right now. It sounds like maybe you're dealing with depression - if it's ok to ask - have you talked to anyone about it? There are things that can help - even just talking with someone can help
This person you like - that you think likes you back - maybe they don't need you to offer a whole lot - if they like you - there's obviously something about you that catches their interest. Even if it wouldn't become anything romantic - but maybe a friend? I think we could all use more of those - I know I could anyway. Idk - it's just something to think about you know?
I hope to see you around here - reach out to people - maybe find a listener - someone who will listen - of course there's no pressure to do any of that either
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts
