@Fristo I like the concept of the site but find the execution isn't always the greatest. Listerners are not always responsive, they seem to disappear, etc. I've had one case where I got into an argument with a member here who switched to their listener account to take the conversation "private." I didn't feel my safety was in danger but did feel this was inappropriate behavior. I complained to 7cups but never heard back.
The group chats can be great during the set times with directed topics and moderators, but otherwise they feel very clique-y when it's just the group chat.
I'd also really like it if the site could do more about the spam in the forums. It's exasperating to see dozens of spam threads and some with relatively believable titles that's just clickbait for more spam.
@ReadBooksDrinkTea I completely agree with your observations. At 7 Cups the original concept was great, and I enjoy being a listener, but lack of responsiveness and lack of transparency hold 7 Cups back at every level.
Listeners being unresponsive to members, group chats being unresponsive to strangers, admins being unresponsive to the community, and developers being unresponsive to admins—they are all expressions of the same cultural flaw.
How it can be changed? I have no idea! Perhaps more hands-on leadership from our Advisory Board, whose members seem to keep their distance from us at present.
@ReadBooksDrinkTea I too very like the basic concept of the site. That is to Listen.
I agree about Group Chat, something seriously need to be done about it, else it is a toxic part of the site. Yes there are Room Supporters, Moderators, but it still is a more negative place than positive, i.e. when it is random chats with no guided discussion. Should the room only be for Discussions, or what more can be done to ensure moderation and positive environment?
Yes, about forums too, spam posts need to be stopped. Maybe each thread can be required to need approval before it gets through?
@Fristo I'm not sure about the chatrooms, other than making separate rooms. Sometimes people come to the group chat looking for help and it's really uncomfortable to watch them being told that a group chat is ongoing and to seek help from a listener instead. I get not wanting to disrupt the flow of the chat (which is another thing, see below) but it can also tell someone who is seeking help: "You have to ask only at certain times."
I just experienced a chat a few days ago which apparently did not start at the time stated in the calendar and the moderator really wasn't very good at controlling the flow with chat about video gaming and personal convos happening in the chat. It was disappointing because it was a topic that really interested me and I got the that "clique-ish" feeling from the others.
Regarding the forum: approval can take time and create a lot more work. So I'm not sure what exactly could be done there other than more proactive moderation at certain times of the day when it appears to be a mass posting of spam.
This is a great thread, and having been in Cups for quite a while, went off board and coming back, I would love to share some of my experiences here too. At the outset this is a great platform affording support to several people, over several varied mental health issues, and kudos to the Listener volunteers for making this a possibility.
Group chats.
Pros
* They were good in a way that a member to member connection can be established.
* You get more real life resources - people who have been through the same experiences or issues, or have seen them among people around them, and sometimes maybe at the receiving end of the issue being discussed.
* Help us with a more broader vision of our problems.
* Members themselves become empathetic towards each other, and sometimes understand that their issues are trivial in comparison to what some of the other members are going through and start accepting or move on. It is such a learning experience.
* A sense of camaraderie develops among regulars and that helps a lot in acquiring better habits and losing out on harmful ones.
Cons
* At the down side, I so often find members invalidating other's feelings and emotions outright. Agreed they are not listeners and not bound by the listener oath. But sad thing is when Listeners themselves don't follow such rules. Most of the times it is the Listeners who conveniently bypass both the oath as well as the chat room rules.
* Favoritism, invalidating, resorting to unsolicited advising, non English verbal usage, declaring their experiences with members (supposed to stay anonymous), the names of their other accounts, and sad to say flirtatious conversations to such an extent you wonder why are these even discussed in a public chatroom and not a 1-on-1 conversation.
* And the camaraderie that I discussed under pros sometimes becomes toxic with several groups formed and discussing and disclosing personal details of people from other groups or their own groups. Most of the time a newbie rarely understands what is going on.
Sadly chat rooms have just ended up as places of gossip, abuse and dating, which our community doesn't stand for.
The spirit of our community is best expressed in chat rooms during discussions. They are the best, such supportive, warm and caring experiences, and the one and only reason chat rooms need to stay.
Amazing work! You listed the pros and cons so well.
The pros listed are something which can hold true, if only, as you said, the listeners behave as listeners and support members, just as they are supposed to do when they take General Chat Requests. For this end, maybe the listeners can be checked upon if they are doing their job. If not, action must be taken, starting from gentle warnings.
When Listeners play their part well, it moreover sets an example for the members too.
@Fristo Yes, I agree.
But I have a suggestion as well. Why are Listeners present in Member chatrooms? Maybe if that is restricted to certain well qualified Listeners, it might prevent many issues. Because obviously it is a group chat, and even to be a room supporter they need to go through training.
Of course it is again the Listeners who have to understand their role, since there are already rules in place that say Listeners need to step in as members if they want support. Maybe reporting such incidents may help.
