Trying to find myself
Hello everyone, I am trying to figure out what is going on in my life, I have been married for 13 years now, we have 5 kids together and we seem to be growing apart instead of closer, communication is a major problem. I am an extrovert or at least I believe I am and he is an extreme introvert. So here I am trying to understand how to move forward with all the loneliness and sadness in my life.
@KIKYREKH
I am sorry you are experiencing this too........it is a very lonely feeling as so many do not see it unless it happens to them..... people do grow apart .........and at different speeds ...... so while one person may be OK with the status quo the other is at a loss of where is this going.... there are 2 types who will tell you divorce or that is how marriage is .... IMO both are wrong ... one size does not fit all.
it used to be in my world ........one person would grow and change a bit and the other one would catch up and so on....................... but now i see we are no where near the same place anymore. I have tried many things i can think of and others suggested but i do not see improvement.
CLEAR and honest communication is essential if you are to make any progress........ in adjusting to whatever may come ...... some split ... some stay ..... some are no more then civil roommates which is a whole other bunch of loneliness and sadness.........
I think it is especially hard because even though our communication was not great before being totally honest with them and yourself can cause pain......i wanted to blame him and sometimes i still do...... but i had to be honest i simply outgrew him and since he is not making effort it will not catch up.
i am a person who wants to DO things .... hike , camp , boat etc he had a health scare and convinced himself sitting on our " magic " couch watching reruns will help him drop weight and be physically able to join me on a hike etc...... I had to tell him "life is short and i am not waiting for a magic someday decide now ."
