The Horrors of Forced Arranged Marriages
As a woman, I cannot emphasize enough how harmful and oppressive forced arranged marriages are. These practices have been around for centuries and are still prevalent in many parts of the world, despite the numerous campaigns and efforts to eradicate them. In this post, I will provide evidence from reliable sources and share real-life examples to explain why forced marriages are so terrible.
First and foremost, it is essential to understand the difference between arranged and forced marriages. Arranged marriages are when two families agree to marry their children, while forced marriages involve one or both parties being coerced or threatened into marrying someone against their will. It's crucial to note that arranged marriages can become forced marriages if one party is coerced or threatened.
One of the main issues with forced arranged marriages is the lack of consent. Marriage is a personal choice, and everyone has the right to choose who they want to spend the rest of their life with. However, in forced arranged marriages, consent is disregarded, and the bride or groom is forced into a marriage they do not want. This is a clear violation of human rights and have severe consequences for the individual's physical and mental health.
Forced arranged marriages have devastating effects on women's lives, including physical and emotional abuse, reproductive coercion, and social isolation. According to a report by the United Nations, 90% of forced marriage victims are female. The violence that occurs in forced arranged marriages is staggering. Rape, domestic violence, murders, and child marriages are just some of the heinous crimes that can occur in these situations.
Sexual violence is a pervasive problem in forced arranged marriages. According to a report by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), women and girls in these types of marriages are at a higher risk of experiencing sexual violence than those in voluntary marriages. This is due to the power imbalance between the partners, with the husband often exerting control over the wife's body and sexuality. Moreover, cultural norms that prioritize a woman's virginity and obedience to her husband can make it difficult for victims to speak out or seek help. In a study conducted in Bangladesh, 73% of women in forced marriages reported experiencing sexual violence.
Domestic violence is also a major issue in forced arranged marriages. According to a report by the United Nations, violence against women is widespread in forced and arranged marriages, and it has serious consequences for the victim's physical and mental health. Women who experience domestic violence are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Furthermore, domestic violence can lead to injuries and disabilities, and it is one of the leading causes of death among women worldwide.
Murders in the name of “honour” are another aspect of forced arranged marriages. In many cultures, it is believed that a woman who brings shame to her family by refusing an arranged marriage or committing adultery must be punished, often by death. These murders are usually carried out by male family members, and they are often seen as a way of restoring the family's honour. According to the United Nations, there are around 5,000 honour killings each year worldwide. These murders are a clear violation of human rights and must be stopped.
Child marriages are also a significant problem in forced arranged marriages. According to a report by the United Nations, one in five girls worldwide is married before the age of 18. Forced and early marriage is a leading cause of death and disability among girls aged 15 to 19 in developing countries. Child brides are subjected to physical and sexual violence, and they are at a higher risk of complications during pregnancy and childbirth. Forced arranged marriages often result in early and forced pregnancies, which have devastating effects on a woman's health. A report by the International Center for Research on Women found that girls who marry before the age of 18 are more likely to experience domestic violence and have a higher risk of dying during childbirth due to their bodies not being fully developed. Furthermore, child marriage often leads to early school dropout, which can have lifelong consequences for the individual's economic and social wellbeing. These statistics and studies highlight the grave harm that forced and arranged marriages can cause to women.
Arranged forced marriages are not just limited to certain cultures or countries. In the UK, forced marriages are considered a form of domestic abuse and have been illegal since 2014. In the United States, forced marriage is illegal in some states, but still occurs in some communities. The United Nations estimates that 12 million girls are married before the age of 18 every year.
It's important to understand that forced arranged marriages are not just a matter of tradition or culture. They are a human rights violation that affects millions of women and girls worldwide. It's time to put an end to this harmful practice and ensure that everyone has the right to choose whom they marry.
Sources:
- United Nations. Handbook on the Prevention of Forced Marriages.
- United Nations. Factsheet: Child Marriage.
- United Nations. Global Study on the Implementation of the United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against Women.
- International Center for Research on Women. Child Marriage Facts and Figures.
- UNFPA. Forced Marriage and FGM.
- Equality Now. The Harmful Practices of Forced Marriage and Child Marriage.
- UNICEF. Child Marriage.
- United Nations. Violence against women: an EU-wide survey.
- United Nations. Female Genital Mutilation and Child Marriage: Two Violations of Girls’ Rights.
- Human Rights Watch. Forced Marriage in the United States.
- Plan International. Forced and Child Marriage.
- UN Women. Progress of the World’s Women 2011-2012: In Pursuit of Justice.
- Naved, R. T., & Persson, L. A. Factors associated with espousal physical violence against women in Bangladesh.
Edited April 3, 2023
@butterlycow
Very informative post!,
It is also help us getting awared about the sad reality of the world and hope that we all will work for a better future.
@Healingbeams Thank you for your support sister ❤️
@butterlycow. I read a novel with a main character in a forced marriage. ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ I would definitely recommend this book with a trigger warning. It really opened my eyes about these horrors that you describe.
@adventurousBranch3786 Thank you for this book recommendation Branch. I didn't know it, but it sounds like a powerful and eye-opening read. I appreciate the trigger warning as well. It's important to acknowledge and raise awareness about the issues surrounding forced marriages, and reading literature on the topic can really help us better understand and empathize with those who have experienced it ❤️
I think there is a big difference between arranged and forced marriages as you have mentioned in the beginning of your post. While arranged marriages can turn into a forced marriage if one party was coerced or forced to marry and had their rights taken from. But as mentioned before not all arranged marriages are like that, in modern world arranged marriages are done with concent on both parties (not talking about the forced arranged marriages which also still happen) its important to remember that these 2 types of arranged marriages exist and that arranged marriages aren't all negative or forced.
If both parties agreed to have their parents arrange a marriage for them they still have a choice, the parents only arrange everything and do match making, if there is no match the marriage won't happen. Besides that there is also the part where both parties get to know each other and spend time together before getting married. (Again this all doesn't include forcing or coercing)
Although there are still forced arranged marriages it's not all like that and we shouldn't ignore the possibility of healthy arranged marriages when both parties consent.
I myself have been through a forced arranged marriage and can see the difference between a forced and arranged marriage, I hope others can too. Although my experience was rather stressful and traumatic for me. I still acknowledge healthy arranged marriage that does not include coercion or forcing either parties. It's possible.
@WendyBird14
I am deeply sorry to hear that you had to go through the trauma and distress of a forced marriage. I hope you are better now
Edited April 3, 2023
@butterlycow
do you feel like all marriages are bad as well? since a "normal" marriage can also go wrong and involve the same issues as an arranged marriage, of course arrange marriages arent all healthy and okay or accaptable but that doesnt make it all bad. thats like saying when 5 people with brown eyes broke the law that every person with brown eyes is bad and breaks the law.
just because you hear more of the negative side doesnt make the positive side invalid. its still possible to have a healthy and good marriage even when arranged.
there is also a big difference between an arranged and forced marriage which you mentioned in the beginning of your post. but you spoke against yourself throughout the rest of your post. also all the sources you posted are about child and forced marriages and not about arranged marriage.
i believe forced marriage is bad and it shouldnt happen at all, but its good to remember a forced marriage is not an arranged marriage.
I think for the future reference of others coming to this forum posting and might be confused why people were saying terms in the original posting are mixed up:
The original posting was changed later on.
@kindSoul10
Sometimes these kinds of posts are censored in the name of respect for cultural diversity (while there are cultures that notoriously and systematically violate human rights), and "political correctness", not to offend the sensibilities of some by telling "inconvenient truths".
I hope this was not the case.
@butterlycow
I totally agree.
The horror is made worse by the fact that many if not most of those non-consensual “marriages” are of child girls sold as sex slaves to adult “husbands” under a legally accepted system.
The story of an 8-year-old girl forcefully married to an adult “husband”, told by the United Nations Population Fund, is illustrative: https://www.unfpa.org/an-unforgettable-day
She knew his “husband" 10 minutes before the “marriage”.
According to UNICEF, “Worldwide, more than 650 million women alive today were married as children. Every year, at least 12 million girls are married before they reach the age of 18. This is 28 girls every minute. One in every five girls is married, or in union, before reaching age 18. In the least developed countries, that number doubles: 40 per cent of girls are married before age 18, and 12 per cent of girls are married before age 15. “
Source: United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights: https://www.ohchr.org/en/women/child-and-forced-marriage-including-humanitarian-settings
A great report by the United Nations Population Fund:
“Marrying too Young”: https://www.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/MarryingTooYoung.pdf
@butterlycow
I feel like this post might better be titled, The Horrors of Forced Marriages. Arranged marriage can be just as successful and wonderful as any type of marriage as long as it's done ethically, which is widely the case.
@JaiMaa
Totally agree with you, it was already edited, and so was the post so this is alot better than what the original was (misinformation) but yes arranged marriages can def be positive! Marriage just never should be forced but these are very very different stories
@WendyBird14
In a way, that's pretty scary that this post was edited from misinformation to something that still reads quite slanted and biased...
@JaiMaa
I agree, I hope people will also read the comments and think for their own rather than assuming what's written somewhere. It's problematic. You could write your own post with more information if you like? Or flag the post if you feel like doing that and add why you flagged it and what you would like to change and why, if it's a good reason the forum team will adjust the post :)
Well, well, well, what do we have here? It seems while I was absent, this forum managed to hit an all-time low. People censoring, spreading factually false and dangerous information, indulging in their sexism and hypocrisy without a hint of surprise. Honestly, I must say, I'm quite delighted that I've been able to distance myself from all of this nonsense.
@butterlycow sorry to hear that i understand sexist ideology is too common here.. even listeners don't have awareness about patriachal abuse making it hard to find support related to it..
@butterlycow
yes , as you said forced marriages are bad but what the stats show is
like for child marriage - developed countries contitutes only 5-10 %, while under-developed and developing countries constitutes about 90%. for under 18 union , theres a lot to be done before that dream is achived .
what you are talking about is good in some aspects , but most of your sources are more than a little outdated . most surveys are done before 2015. and even you dont know the world has changed quite better since then, the metoo movement hashtag began being used since 2017. tik tok was launched in 2o17. by 2019 , there was a rise in use of social media , knowledge was better circulation with such apps . you really need to update your information .
if you atleast decide to list the sources , please atleast check its validity.
