Unexplainable Sadness
4am now. Woke up at 3:44am with unexplainable feelings of sadness. A time where I wish I had a boyfriend or husband where I'll feel comforted with a long, snuggly hug.
@Jaeteuk I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Loneliness can be challenging, especially in the quiet hours of the night. It's completely okay to long for comfort and companionship. Remember, your emotions are valid, and it's okay to seek support from friends, family, or even engage in activities that bring you joy. Virtual hugs to you, and I hope the rest of your night brings you a sense of peace.
I fell back asleep by 6am.. and woke up nearly 10am.. but had a weird dream.. I was a young fawn, being licked in the face by another family of deers that was passing by..
I've been single for so long, waking up in the middle of the night, longing for a cuddle, makes it more sad realizing that there's no one there beside me and being scared if there ever will be someone there laying beside me in the future.
@Mya000
@Jaeteuk Your dream sounds interesting, though. It's normal to long for companionship. If you ever want to talk about your feelings or anything else, I'm here to listen and support you 💖
The dream was quite disturbing.. not the first dream as an animal, but being locked is the first time..
I think I long for companionship.. whether that be a best friend or a boyfriend/husband.. I broke off a friendship 10 years ago.. and haven't made any new friends since. Off to work now, I'll talk more about it in a new thread.
@Jaeteuk i m sorry to hear that you are feeling sad and longing for comfort. it can be difficult to wake up in the early hours of the day with those emotions, just know that your feelings are valid and its ok to desire a comforting presence during such moments take your time to acknowledge and process your emotions.
A sincere hug will do the trick. I don't understand what's going on these days.. woke up with an upset stomach this morning. But have to work, so I'll see how I feel during my shift, maybe I'll request to leave a bit earlier, after my primary tasks are done. Go home and rest up before going to my mum's birthday dinner. It almost feels like a stomach flu, the type where I feel a little nauseous.
All these sadness is finding an outlet to be released. Maybe today, it chose to be an upset stomach. It's just bad timing, because of my mum's birthday dinner, we also invited my uncle too.
@Jaeteuk i get it, it must have been tough for you. i hope you feel better soon.
@Jaeteuk Aw, I'm sorry Jae. :( I was in your shoes before...especially one day when I had to get up and leave my (abusive) alcoholic ex-fiancé. I don't miss him since he nearly deleted me from this world, but at the time when I was single, I missed waking up in bed next to someone. Or cuddling inside with hot chocolate while it rains outside. Or having someone to go out and do fun activities with. So I feel you on wanting someone to wake up next to or to cuddle with...
If you want to meet your future partner, you can meet them...:
- In person at places you frequent (ex. Concerts, Library, Gym, Bar, Hobby/Interest Meet-up group, etc)
- Online on dating apps (not all dating apps are built the same! I searched around for specific ones. There's some that can help you match based on MBTI personality types, it's pretty cool!)
- By travelling! :) I'm a nomad at heart and have travelled to many towns, cities, and states. I probably won't stay here though. ((And I know you mentioned travelling to me on a different posts, so this might be one of the best ways for you. :) I'm seriously rooting for you!))
- Sometimes at work, just depends... I don't date coworkers or anything UNTIL I leave a certain job if I was interested. I was also a bit picky about dating random people who came up to me at work asking me out...
My experience with dating as former turbo introvert who was a recluse/hermit/loner...
I went through dating a few people (mostly men, some women) and it was...hard at first but got easier overtime as I start to know better what I look for in a partner.
I'm an old fart, but ended up using a dating app and found my current partner.
We've been dating for about...5 months now and we're long distance (2hrs distance)
He drives down nearly every weekend (now every other weekend, he's also starting a new career like me! :) ) and I can't get enough of him lol. I miss him whenever he's gone. I want him to be in my life forever if I can. He's one of the best things that's happened to me.
But anyways, this is coming from a gal who said she would be "forever alone".
I didn't want to date back then.
I didn't want to have kids.
I wanted to be single and travel alone because I had too much baggage (or so I thought) and my PTSD.
How I met the people I dated...
- My ex-fiancé was my neighbour when I first moved to this city, so I asked him out to the bar at the time and we ended up together long term and had a child but it didn't work out due to his alcoholism and he progressively got violent after a while.
- Then, I had my younger brother introduce me to his best friend and again, I ended up asking him out for drinks at the time... It didn't work out because he ended up ghosting me after we were dating for about a year to shag another lady...He was also just using me for money and comfort and had a drug addiction problem...He never wanted to use "labels", so in this case, he is nothing to me, not even an ex.
- Enter in -- dating apps. I tried dating online, and it was a mix bag. Overall, I felt neutral. Wasn't necessarily bad, just moreso of a "it didn't work out/not compatible" type of thing until...
- Finally, I meet my current partner on a dating app that asks an extensive list of questions to filter out the exact type of person you want to date/be in a relationship with. My partner and I were one of the few people who answered over 1,000 questions and we had maybe a 97% compatibility rate on that app, so I gave it a try and asked him out on a date.
Though, I do also want to say that the grass is always greener on the other side. I felt incredibly lonely and isolated when I was in a relationship with my ex-fiancé...Didn't really have friends and already don't have family. It just felt worse.
Not to invalidate how you feel by saying that! Wanted to show a different perspective -- being lonely sucks. I feel that. I'm not in your exact shoes anymore but I feel lonely in different ways. I have no (extended) family and I get a bit envious of people who have a good relationship with their parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc. I don't have anyone anymore. I'm alone. It's just me, my son, and my partner. My partner went through abuse and his family are not good people either. So my son doesn't really have grandparents from his biological side (my ex's family are also violent alcoholics) nor step side of the family.
The only thing I can remind myself when I feel lonely is...at the end of the day, I have myself. I know that sounds cheesy but...I feel that if I work on myself, then things will fall into place. I have to be my own advocate, supporter and (constructive) critic to improve my life.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders to be honest.
You're kind-hearted, considerate, hardworking, and ambitious! You sound like a catch to anyone who's looking for a spouse! :) I sincerely hope you find the other half that makes you feel warm inside, who you can cuddle with or talk to about anything and everything. It's one of the best feelings ever. I hope that this person supports you through tough times and treats you with love, respect, and kindness as well, because you deserve it.
Before, I had thought that the relationship I had in my first year of University was my first, and last. As I had been single since. But I remember the times where we cuddled and I felt comforted by his care. Now that I'll be turning 37 in January, I want to keep some hope that I'll meet my future husband. As I know 100% that I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
I'm also an extreme introvert. I'm a homebody. So, meeting people in-person is not doable. With online dating apps, I'm scared of being scammed and my parents highly disagree to it. In the beginning of this summer, my mum had told me that one of her friend's daughter's fiance has a couple of friends that are single and want their girlfriends to be Chinese as well. I had agreed to meet with them, but in the summer, the daughter was preparing for her wedding in September, and her family was renovating their house for relatives coming to attend her wedding, so that idea kind of just disappeared. Also, that friend hasn't been in town since September, and won't return until the new year. I'm not sure if I should mention this to my mum again, that I'll be interested. Even if it's just meeting a new friend. My mum explained that the fiance's best friend, would always be the third wheel as they went on dates, and hope that he could find his own girlfriend and leave them alone or go on double dates.. The fiance also has another coworker who's looking for a girlfriend too, my mum says that the fiance looks like a nice guy, well-mannered and all, so she thinks his friends will be the same nature. But you know what, as much as I don't mind the set-up, my mum thinks that I don't look good enough to date.. always say my hair is a mess, that I don't dress my age, that I don't look my age.. and tells me that I'm boring.. *sigh*
Yes, this is one of the reasons why I want that career change for my dream job to teach overseas. I want to meet more people, and possibly a future husband along the way. I feel that I need a change in my lifestyle, and the best way to do that, is in another country, doing what I dream of, and it will force me out of my comfort zone. I have trouble here coming out of my shell. There are too many traumatic memories here, that I don't feel safe when I'm out and about; hence, I stay at home. It's either home or work. When I do go out for groceries, it's an in-and-out shopping. I don't like going to malls unless the store I need to buy something from is in a mall. It drains a lot of my energy though, as I'm on high alert of my surroundings. Too many childhood traumas that has caused me to be on high alert whenever I'm in a public place. So, I was thinking, a career change, out of the country, where no one knows me, and I know nobody, will be a good start to coming out of my shell and actually feel like I'm living.
I'm also longing for a friend too. Just one friend is better than none. I used to have someone whom I called a best friend. We met in 6th Grade, I broke off our friendship when I was 27. I was tired of maintaining our friendship, I initiated all our times together, and I felt she didn't even see me as a friend. When I broke off our friendship, she didn't even say anything that indicated she was devastated with my decision. I was heartbroken, there I treated her as my best friend, and I turned out to be a nobody to her.
Thank you for your blessings. I feel I'm okay as a person, that if someone sees me as a friend, I'll be a good friend to them. Loyal and all, but no one seems to be interested to be my friend. Do people not like Aquariuses? I hope I can find my other half too, although my parents don't rush me, they do give me hints that they wish I can find a husband. As they keep saying that they will be leaving before us, and we'll be left alone (brother and I). My brother has married and divorced, so my parents are just letting him be. Thank you for your kind words, support, and understanding.
@ImpudentIncognito