Relationships & Friendship

Relationships can change when a baby arrives. This can include romantic relationships, as well as relationships with family members and friends.

Romantic Relationships

If you are in a relationship, remember you and your partner are both adjusting to your roles as parents. It is not always going to be easy or positive.

Keep communication open, so you can try to understand what each other is feeling. For example, if you are feeling blue, tell your partner. This can help them understand why you may act moody.

Try not to blame. You may disagree more than usual now that you have a baby. It can help to use “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed when I don’t have your help with cooking dinner.”

Listen. You both are under stress right now. Try to see things from each other’s point of view. It’s important for both of you to feel heard.

Create a plan for getting things done. Dividing chores and responsibilities evenly can ease stress and benefit the whole family.

Plan weekly check-ins. Talk about how things are going and make adjustments if needed. This is a good time to calmly talk about things that are bothering you. The middle of the night is not.

Help each other. There will be times when each of you feels stressed or overwhelmed with parenting. Let the other take a break when they need it. You are there to care for each other as well as the baby.

Know that changes are temporary. The amount of time you spend together, and the way you spend it have changed. Talk about your life before baby. Also discuss the future and how it will change once you are healed from the birth and the baby is older.

Friends and Family

Relationships with friends and family members may change or become strained as well. You may not have as much time to spend with friend, or perhaps your family becomes overbearing. There are a few strategies that can ease tensions:

Set clear boundaries. You may feel you need space to care for baby and rest. Tell family members when you want them around and when you need time to yourselves. This can mean setting specific visiting hours.

Ask for help. There may also be times that you feel overwhelmed or you need short periods away from the home. It’s okay to ask for exactly what you need.

Take comments lightly. People may comment on your parenting style or give you advice. Try not to take criticism or advice as attacks on your parenting. Be confident in your own decisions. You know your family and your baby best.

Be honest. When times get tough, it can help to talk about it with family and friends. Many mothers feel they’ll be judged if they share any negative feelings with others. But honesty is important, and it can be valuable to talk it out with people you know will listen.