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How can I stop feeling responsible for my loved ones pain and suffering with their drug abuse?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 11/01/2021 at 1:04am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tara Davis, Doctorate in Counselling Psychology


I have worked successfully with a wide range of difficulties. Nothing is more important than developing a warm, compassionate relationship with someone you can trust

Top Rated Answers
February 17th, 2015 3:41am
It might be helpful to remind yourself of your 'circle of influence' is actually very small. Your loved one chooses to continue with their drug behaviour and the consequences that brings, just as they can choose to get help for their drug problem. It doesn't help them for you to carry their pain and suffering, it just enables them to continue with their behaviour. They need to get to a point where the costs of their drug abuse outweighs any benefits they receive from it. Your job is to keep yourself safe while they deal with their own issues. So my advice to you would be to look at ways to look after you.
January 22nd, 2015 9:49pm
If your loved one is into drugs, then you need to stop everything and focus of solution rather than problem itself. Blaming him or yourself will only make matters worse.
January 25th, 2015 10:37am
You arent responsible because your partners a grown individual responsible for their actions. No one can force them to start or stop the abuse . Ultimately its all their choice
May 14th, 2015 7:20pm
After you have tried everything that you can do and have done your very best for your loved one that is suffering from drug abuse you may want to try to get them some help or wait for the love one to change on their own.
October 25th, 2015 4:56pm
You have to make yourself know that it is not your fault, and try to convince them to get the help that they need to make their lives better,
March 15th, 2016 3:27pm
See it from the outside, observe the situation from a higher perspective. Then, accept it as it is without emotional penalties. Next, in a spirit of peace of acceptance, discover the ways you might be enabling the drug abuse and resolve those, if possible. Learning more about drug abuse and addiction enabling will be very helpful. The most important thing is to let go of harmful emotions concerning any of this. Things are the way they are right now, don't 'fight' it, but work forward in positive ways.
June 17th, 2016 2:48am
At thd end of the day it is an illness and no matter how much you try to help and see no results you do feel guilty but please try not to .Its alright everyone with opinions but unless they have walked in the addicts shoes no one knows what it is like its sad try and be stong and just be there for him .
December 5th, 2017 2:13pm
This is going to sound harsh, but at some point, you have to let go of dead weight, or it will take you down also. Stand up for your self and your needs, and don't take no for an answer.
February 10th, 2020 2:36am
Hello, this is a very difficult but very common situation to be in. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling upset and that you are experiencing a loved one struggling with drug abuse. It is never easy to see someone you care about going through something difficult, and drug abuse can be very scary. Have you considered possibly joining some support groups that specialize in this? Something I personally have done with a similar situation is Al-anon, it is an anonymous support group that helps people who have loved ones suffering from alcoholism or drug addiction. You definitely are not alone, and there is a way to let go of feeling responsible for a loved ones pain and suffering with drug abuse. Best of luck!
November 1st, 2021 1:04am
It is hard to do that after my own experience but i try to remember that i have tried to help them, but it is hard to help people to stop doing drugs. But hey bud! you are doing great for trying! Remember that! you are doing your best, try and be easy on yourself it`s my best tips even if it can be hard to do that! But i belive in you and if it get`s to much just come on a chat with us and we can talk more in depth about it. Remember that you are doing your best