Should I offer an ultimatum to my friend who is struggling with addiction or will it make things worse ?
Last Updated: 08/14/2018 at 10:24am
Zeina Ghoul, LLPC
I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.
Top Rated Answers
That depends. For me, I was never offering the ultimatum so much to them as I was to myself. Was this hurting me, was this dragging me to a place I couldn't live. Once you've offered them all the help and support you can, it's up to them. You need to love yourself as much as you love them.
I've learned from personal experience that no matter what you say or do, an addict will continue to live in addiction until they want soberity for themselves.
Generally, ultimatums do not work well with addiction. For the person who is addicted, they will not change and be devoted to change until they themselves decide they are ready to do so.
You should support your friend and encourage them to get help from a professional. Addiction struggles are difficult, and with that, one will need the support of those they care about the most.
I would not offer one , it does tend to make things worse at times depending on the person and their addiction.
In order for any type of help to last the person needs to enter willingly. An ultimatum might make a temporary solution but to be helpful instead of an ultimatum rather continue to offer your support
I had a good friend with a bad drinking problem. One day it got out of hand to a point where I had to ask her to leave and it hurt but I had other friends around me who told me they were glad somebody spoke up about her problem and how it got violently out of control sometimes. We became distant after that but still keep in contact. She is doing much better in life and i'm genuinely happy she came to her own realization. I know sometimes being the good guy can make you end up looking like the bad guy. In the end everything seems to work itself out.
An ultimatum can be an effective tool as anything that makes it harder for someone to use in peace is effective. Giving money, making excuses, etc. all enable an addict to use easier with no interference. This is also known as enabling.
I understand that you are trying to help you’re friend out but it will make it worse. Not only will it hurt them but them too. Best thing to do is refer them to help because professionals know what’s best.
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