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How can someone's love for you stop so abruptly?

21 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2020 at 10:11pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
December 18th, 2014 5:16pm
I don't think someone's love for you can stop abruptly. It takes time. And if it did stop abruptly, maybe there wasn't any love there.
March 13th, 2015 2:24am
I'm going to tell you what I know from personal experience. Yes, people can love you at one point or another, but sometimes things even feelings change with time. It may not have been you that made him/her change their feelings for you. Sometimes people have no control over what they feel. It could easily be something that he/she is going through that has made them feel like they should feel this way, but sometimes there is nothing that you can do about it. If you can fix it then great if that's what makes you happy and if that's what you want, but if not there comes a time when you have to let go and move on.
July 27th, 2015 5:50pm
The love itself probably didn't stop abruptly, unless they found out something very upsetting about you (even in that case, they would probably still have feelings for you, just conflicted ones). It can be easy to confuse the emotions someone feels with the actions that they take towards you. Probably what you are experiencing is that someone's expressions of affection for you stopped abruptly. This can have many different causes. They may be angry with you, they may be depressed or going through some bad things that they don't want to subject you to, they may have been attacked and feel too ashamed and vulnerable to tell you, they may be less serious about you than you are about them and have decided to end it before it goes any further, they may love you but be afraid of what will happen if they get closer.
May 7th, 2015 6:37am
Everybody is different. Some people wake up and it hits them that they no longer love the same person they've been with for 30 years. Other people slowly learn to love over a few weeks and it stays steady until they die. Some people can just feel satisfied with one night stands. We're all different and it's not something we should worry too much about. They just really missed out on you and they won't realize it until it's too late.
November 25th, 2014 11:51am
Maybe they have been thinking it for a while, but have only just let you know? Maybe they have met someone else? Maybe they have realised they are on a different path in life to you? Maybe they are scared it is going all to fast? Maybe you have got it wrong and they do love you, you need to talk to them about it. Communication is key.
May 20th, 2015 4:50pm
you may have so much love for someone , but when you go through a lot of stuff with that person and you're constantly being hurt verbally and or physically its kind of making it easier for you to loose love for them and move on
February 20th, 2018 5:37am
There could be a variety of reasons or simple misunderstandings. Maybe someone said something about you to them, maybe they noticed something about you that they don't approve of, or maybe they are just trying to show that they don't love you although they do - it could be anything at all! It's best to ask them directly about it :)
April 19th, 2016 5:20am
Love comes with a decision. There are people who might not find you attractive or adorable at the moment, but because they have decided to love the imperfect you, will stay in love with you no matter what.
September 28th, 2015 7:58am
Yes, some people may say they love you but carry doubt with them and sometimes that doubt can make them stop feeling like they do towards you.
November 26th, 2014 7:30am
You may never know if it has. Maybe this person is just not fulfilled the way "they" need to be. This is not something you can control however and you need to look past this move forward with the things you love and continue living.
July 13th, 2015 12:05am
Often, what feels abrupt is not necessarily abrupt. Falling in and out of love are processes. We might not always be aware of what the other person is feeling, but often in retrospect we can see that there were signs of things being a little bit different. It's a tough burden to bear when someone falls out of love with you, and as soon as they tell you, it can feel like your world is falling apart. However, it might not have been so abrupt.
December 4th, 2014 9:09am
Nobody knows if its real love. real love takes time to develop the comfort to be yourself with them and trust them with all of your deepest secrets. if they stopped just all of a sudden the chances are that it wasn't real love
August 16th, 2016 6:05pm
I think that there might be a few scenarios here. But the most probable one is that maybe there have been signs that this person is already seeking out to you but probably, these signs were too weak or indirectly expressed so they tend to be dismissed ( things like "she is just having some drama; it will pass away, or something happened which results to this behavior of her etc").. You know your loved one will expect that you know them well so probably that's one of the main reason they don't directly say it. Maybe they are confused as well. They may also don't want you to be bothered by something small or insignificant ( in which they are also confused on how to identify it themselves). But, you know, small things add up and as these things are pushed aside, they build up and so it gets to the point that they could no longer bear it and so emotions explode and that happens.
April 26th, 2016 2:03am
There are many reasons as to why people stop loving each other, from character to environmental differences. The idea is to accept that it has happened and how to move on there after.
July 18th, 2017 7:17pm
Most likely it didnt. Love is a strong emotion that takes time to develop. The same way it doesn't stop overnight. Most probably it was slowly diminishing over a period of time.
May 20th, 2015 12:52am
I don't believe that love stops abruptly. People can go for long periods thinking about changes in their lives and never vocalize them when they have those thoughts. When they do begin to talk about change, it may seem abrupt because the other person just didn't know. It really boils down to good and open communication.
November 3rd, 2015 4:15am
I feel that there are many levels of love. You can love a food, love a song or artist, love your pet, love your sibling, love your aunt, your parent, your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse. Does this love start in an instant, or build over time as you get to know the person? I would say it all depends, and so the type of love felt towards someone can end in a similar fashion. It can fade over time, or perhaps through some event or perceived slight, change quickly.
August 9th, 2016 6:15pm
It sounds like you've recently been placed in a situation where someone abruptly changed their feelings for you. Often times we as people slowly start to change and do not realize it until the change has already taken place. When we finally talk about it this usually shocks and surprises people who are directly involved.
September 28th, 2015 12:27am
Love is an interesting feeling. There is a difference between love and lust. Distinguishing which emotion it is may seem that is abruptly stopped but was never love to begin with.
March 16th, 2020 10:11pm
I wish there was an exact answer for this but there really isn't. I've questioned it so many times as well but I've got none. I personally don't think that someone's love for you can stop so abruptly. If it did, it just means that they never loved you in the first place. You also have to understand what the word 'love' means to you. In that way, you'll know if they really did. But to be honest, it doesn't just stop. There might be circumstances where the relationship doesn't work out and so it may seem like they just completely stopped. Maybe they chose to act that way? You'd never really know. But what I do know is that in my own definition of 'love', it doesn't stop abruptly. Maybe over time but not right away.
December 22nd, 2015 2:57am
Well it could stop when you do the same thing every time or you change yourself since you started dating.