Its Been a year since my brother died how to I cope with the grief
Last Updated: 09/08/2015 at 7:21am
Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
Grief is something that you work through, not get over. I lost two brothers, and two children. At first it is unbearable, and nothing helps, then the grief comes in waves. Eventually those waves will be fewer and farther between. There is no one "right" amount of time to grieve. It is your grief, and you take as long as you need. Eventually, this grief will not be overwhelming, but it never truly goes away. It will become one of the many facets that makes you a unique individual. If the grief is overwhelming you in the moment, find something in the room and describe it out loud. Feel it, smell it, tap it - be in the moment with it. Let that bring you back to the here and now. Drawing, painting, singing, and writing are other ways that people work through sustained grief. Some of the greatest songs ever written were the result of personal tragedy.
Everyone says it gets easier as time goes on. I dont think it does i think we just learn to accept they are no longer around but theyl always be in your thoughts. Ive had a few close people to me who have passed away, I feel upset some days but others i know theyd be happy that i am carrying on with life, All you need to do is remember the good times and try your best with life x
By keeping him alive in your heart and remembering the happy times you shared. It's okay to grieve.
You move on. It sounds simple but everybody who has ever gone through something even remotely traumatic knows how hard it is to do. But you keep going, just get through everyday with a smile on your face (even if its a fake smile) just smile. Eventually that fake smile will be real, and you'll realize how much time it has been since your brother died, and the thought of him will hurt less and make you smile more, and that is how you cope with the grief. Fake it, till you make it.
It's tough get through any loss, especially someone who is that close to you. The feelings following loss, in order are outlined in the Kübler-Ross model, or the 5 stages of grief. First there is Denial. It's a stage where you deny that you lost the person, even though you know they are gone. At some point you will eventually come to realization and come to stage 2, which is Anger. This is a time period that can be very short for most where people are extremely angry. This feeling turns into the 3rd stage known as Bargaining. This is a stage where you blame yourself for the loss of a loved one, even though it wasn't your fault. Things like "If only we got a second opinion" or "I should've sought medical attention for him/her sooner". Something you have to remember at this stage is that your loss is not your fault. After you realize that it wasn't your fault, or even if you think it is your fault for that matter, you reach the 4th stage called Depression. This is usually the longest stage for someone before reaching the last stage called Acceptance. Acceptance is where you realize they are gone, but life isn't over and you can live life without feeling sad, but still know that they are gone. This doesn't make you a bad person to be able to live happily knowing they are gone. Think about it this way. If they were still with you, they wouldn't want you to grief over them forever. Hence acceptance. If you would like more help getting through these stages, feel free to connect with me or another Listener and talk about it. Sometimes just a listening ear is all you need. Perhaps you don't know what stage you are in. You can always take this quiz to see if you are still confused or stuck with constant grief: http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/grief-quiz.htm. I hope this helps :) Deep breaths, you got this!
its tough, coping with loss, grieving is sometimes a hard and long process, i have found that mindfullness excersizes, keeping busy and finding time to grieve helped me
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