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I've not been able to cry for a very long time, and I really need to. Is there a method to induce crying and letting it all out ?

100 Answers
Last Updated: 04/18/2020 at 10:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Collin McShirley, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I love helping people overcome challenges with food, depression, and anxiety. My work with clients is nonjudgement, supportive, and kind.

Top Rated Answers
beautifulKoala31
- Expert in Grief
July 21st, 2016 2:53am
Think of all the things that people have done to you. All of the hurt and pain you've been through, all of the happiness you've experienced. Think of it all and let all of those emotions and feeling drown you until you aren't able to control it. Don't think about it too much that's why you cant cry, you think too much. Don't try to control what you are trying to feel let it flow over you.
Anonymous - Expert in Grief
September 9th, 2016 6:33pm
Let all that's inside you out on a paper..write it down in a journal or diary or as a letter.. Writing about it will make you feel light and also you'll be going through each and very emotions of yours in the form of our own words, try doing this.. It might be helpful😊
Anonymous - Expert in Grief
August 7th, 2016 5:20pm
if you can't cry then scream, scream at the loudest voice! you can go boxing too, i tried it and it helps!
HopieRemi
- Expert in Grief
July 16th, 2016 9:42am
Different things could induce crying. When I want to cry, I normally put on sad music, which enables me to cry. Some people cry while cutting onions. i don't recommend the onion one because they smell bad but if you really need to cry, try that?
Anonymous - Expert in Grief
July 31st, 2016 7:42pm
Crying is very healthy. Sometimes, you just have to let the tears come on their own. Forcing it may make it worse.
SadyaKarni22
- Expert in Grief
January 24th, 2019 1:49pm
First find a private, peaceful place for yourself to sit. Clear your head of distractions. Listen to sad songs and music. Read sad stories, quotes on internet. Think of a sad happening happened with you in past or think of some sad heartbreaking incidents and imagine yourself in. Act like you're being filmed on a camera and you have got the scene to cry your worst. Recall someone who has died and was dear to you. Watch sad videos on YouTube. Think deeply about what is making you sad. Think about all the losses related to these.
kindRose56
- Expert in Grief
October 26th, 2017 1:46am
I have found that when I don't talk to someone and I hold things back, that is when I feel like I just need to cry and let it all out. Sometimes talking about it helps me let go and process things that are bothering me. I find comfort in talking to friends and if I have been holding things back for a long time then that is usually when I end up crying. If you don't have any friends to go to, seven cups has so many amazing people who will listen to you. There are also many different phone services if you prefer to talk over message. Everyone is different so just find out what helps you the most.
ThankYouForLettingMeTryingToHelp
- Expert in Grief
October 20th, 2019 4:31am
I have had the same question for a very long time, and the same need as well. What has worked for me? Not refraining me for crying when the urgency came. The time I was not looking for the tears, they arrived. Once I was in therapy talking about an issue really hard for me. I had already developped a feeling of confidence with my therapist, which made that particular session even better: I could open my heart. And when I did, when I was to able to hear aloud my "problems", I was sad. I felt compassion for myself, same as I woul feel for a best friend. I was hearing to me, and I felt pity for me, I wanted this perso ("I, myself") to feel better, I wanted the pain to dissappear. It is still difficult to me to cry, even when I need it so badly to liberate myself. But I have found that, in my case, tears only arrived when I feel myself heard, understood and accompanied in my feelings.
Pleiades924
- Expert in Grief
July 29th, 2016 5:07pm
Try to think of something that makes you sad. Think of someone you care about getting hurt. Watch a sad movie. Listen to a sad song. Put yourself into an emotional state.
Anonymous
August 24th, 2016 11:56am
Yes, it is never good to keep it bottled up inside. It's best to let it out because sometimes holding it in can cause you to feel trapped within yourself and cause a larger build up of stress
VeeStarr
August 25th, 2016 7:14pm
Everyone has different ways of showing their emotions. We also heal at different paces. When it is time to cry, the tears will fall. Forced crying, can have a negative outcome. I say; if you feel like crying, dont hold it in. And if you aren't able to cry, allow yourself and your body to work at a pace that is suitable.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2018 9:46am
well, you could listen to emotional songs {focus on the lyrics :p }or you could watch any tear jerking movies with a box of tissues by the side......most extreme case ,just use the onions
Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 4:42pm
When i just want to cry but i can't I listen sad songs, it bring all of the pain and i can't hold it anymore
sereneHoliday44
May 17th, 2017 6:39am
It is okay to feel you want to cry but even if you are not been able to cry it is okay every person has a different threshold and so it varies from person to person. As to letting things out you may like to talk with some one or a professional listener like here so that you are relieved of your feelings even without crying.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 6:27am
You can talk to yourself everything you have suffered. Be honest with your thoughts and your feelings. You can also watch some anime which is sad but have a positive meaning. I suggest Colourful, a great anime :) Hope you can have the best solution
William202
August 12th, 2017 5:46pm
Sometimes writing about our experiences is able to let us feel those emotions, talking to a trusted someone can also help, just examine yourself and find out if you can what is keeping you from crying, are you afraid to be vulnerable?
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 6:20pm
think of something sad it has always helped me to cry if i thought of something sad for a little while i would cry for long period of time.
struggler64
January 6th, 2017 9:58am
I have had that issue too, and I have a number of movies in my video library that I call "emotional laxatives." Certain scenes in them often provoke the tears. If not, all I have to do is look hard at my life, and that oughta do the trick. You might want to look inside and see what stops you from crying. That is frequently a big clue to why you can't cry.
avamadueno22
January 26th, 2017 9:57pm
Honestly, sometimes it depends on the situation and how much it hurts you. I have had moments where I am at home on the phone talking with someone about something between us and I can cry a lot, but the second I see them, I can't shed a single tear. It's weird but I guess my body calms down when I know what's happening in front of me rather than something that's being though about. You know? But eventually when something hits you emotionally, you'll start to cry it's how the body and mind copes with those kinds of things.
SmileMoreLovelies7
August 2nd, 2017 8:11pm
Sometimes having someone talk to about what you are struggling with, or your problems will help trigger your inner feelings. I know when I feel like crying, I either talk to someone I trust with my problems, or I think about all of them in my head. Hearing about it usually lets me release my emotions and makes me feel better later.
BooishMonkey
August 30th, 2016 5:06pm
Often we become jaded in our lives and things that may have made us burst with emotion may not anymore. Try finding videos online that make you extremely happy, like dogs being reunited with owners or children being surprised my their military parents. Anything that sparks intense emotion.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 2:13am
Scream in a pillow or go in a empty field and let it all out. Or You can vent to one of 7 cups listeners :)
Izak99
November 4th, 2016 9:55pm
I am dealing with the same thing, and the way I started crying was by watching some sad videos on youtube like people are good or just something that makes you sad in particular, some topic etc.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2016 8:06pm
Hmm, interesting. Well, Now, I am not a supporter of crying over spilled milk, but I do know how helpful it is sometimes to just cry it out. I am assuming here that you have already watched the sad movies and listened to the sad songs with no 'luck'? I'll tell you my way - talk to someone who you're comfortable with. If not, then talk to yourself and pamper yourself with things you like. Worst case - you might not cry. But best thing - you'd grow outta it. :)
2cupsofteaa
September 29th, 2016 5:35pm
That's tough...maybe watching a sad film which can help you get emotional? It might help get you going with your tears.
resourcefulBeauty90
December 31st, 2017 4:51am
One thing I like to do is watch some sort of movie or video that I know always makes me cry. Some ones that make you cry happy tears, like people from the army coming home to their families, will help "prime the pump" and then you'll be able to cry and get out everything that was trapped in you. Hope this helped!
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 7:46am
Hello there. :) Personally, writing helps me channel all my emotions. I keep a journal and I usually write about my day. I also write prose and poems. This helps me a lot. Sometimes I just find tears on my paper. I don't even notice I've been crying while I am writing.. It really helps me let out all my pent up emotions. You can give it a try sometimes. I hope it helps you too :)
QuietHawk
May 28th, 2018 6:19pm
Move from your mind into your heart. Find someplace quiet where you will not be disturbed and review all the good and traumatic events you've been through in your life. Imagine the person you were at the time of the occurrence, the age you were, how you looked and recall how it made you feel. Remember with compassion.
LittleButterfly
July 4th, 2018 5:10pm
As a listener I can't necessarily give advice, but I have a similar problem and what works for me is going to a space where I know I will be alone and where I feel relatively safe (for me it's my bedroom). But beforehand, I would have a crisis plan in place. Have a hotline and/or someone you trust who you can contact if things end up going downhill. It may also be a good idea to have something that can help relax you afterward, keep a glass or bottle of water nearby. Most importantly though, don't forget to take care of yourself because you are the most important person in your life.
GlimpseOfALight
October 7th, 2018 8:17pm
One way I can think of would be to sign up for a training session with a coach in a sport like boxing or a fitness coach. What is interesting about this method is that not only the physical training will serve as a mean to evacuate some of the feelings but most importantly, these coach have a very specific way to push you to your limits while having your best interest at heart. Some people will often cry when they think they are reaching their physical limits especially when there is a coach shouting to them to not give up when they know that the person is at their breaking point, reaching that point through physical exercise sometimes induce crying, that is when you can take advantage of the situation to think of all your frustrations in life that you need to let out, like a barrage of emotion flooding through a wall cracked by your coach during practise.