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What can I do instead of self harm?

36 Answers
Last Updated: 02/28/2022 at 5:26pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2014 6:27am
. Exercise. 2. Put on fake tattoos. 3. Draw on yourself with washable red marker-then take a shower and wash away your pain. 4. Scribble on sheets of paper. 5. Write poetry. 6. Cuddle with a stuffed toy. 7. Be with other people. 8. Watch a favorite TV show. 9. Post on web boards or try answering other people's posts. 10, Think about how "I DON'T WANT SCARS FOR SUMMER!!" 11. Paint your nails a new color. 12. Go out to see a movie. 13. Eating something you can't resist. 14. Do your school work. 15. Write a letter to someone but never send it. 16. Go into chat rooms to talk. 17. Call a friend and ask them to come hang out. 18. Play a musical instrument. 19. Sing. 20. Look up at the sky, and find the moon. Study it. 21. Make your own list of things to do instead of S.I. 22. Buy a punching bag (with gloves. Name it. Then, have a visit with Bob when you need to. 23. Snap a rubber band (hair band) on your wrist. 24. Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut. 25. Go to the zoo and rename the animals. 26. Let yourself cry, even if it is hard. 27. Sleep, only if you are tired. 28. Do the exact opposite of what you really want to do. 29. Play with a pet. 30. Smile to at least 5 people. 31. Re-organize and lable your linen closet. 32. Go out and perform one act of kindness. 33. Have a pillow fight with a wall. 34. Knit a scarf. 35. Read a good book. 36. Dress up very glamorous, with makeup to match. 37. Color your hair. 38. Listen to music (nontriggering) 39. Watch a candle burn, but no playing with flames or hot wax. Blow it out when you leave the room. 40. Find someone else you can help. Do volunteer work. 41. Meditate. Track your breathing. 42. Call up an old friend and catch up. 43. Work on a website or start a new one. 44. Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a celebrity. 45. Go somewhere very public. 46. Bake cookies or another favorite food you like. 47. Alphabetize your CD's. 48. Chew gum. 49. Buy a henna tattoo kit. 50. Paint or draw. 51. Rip paper into really small pieces. 52. Give someone a Hug. 53. Write a letters or emails. 54. Talk to yourself, and put it on tape. 55. Hug a pillow. 56. Hyper-focus on something like a rock. 57. Fingerpaint. 58. Scream as loud as you want. 59. Dance. 60. Make hot chocolate. 61. Pop bubble wrap. 62. Play with play dough. 63. Count to 100. 64. Build a pillow fort. 65. Blow up a balloon and pop it. 66. Hug yourself. 67. Write yourself an "I love myself because" letter and keep it. Read it when you feel down. 68. Read things in a different language. 69. Go for a nice long drive, walk, or jog. 70. Complete something you have been putting off. 71. Drink a cup of herbal tea. 72. Fold paper and invent a new origomi shape. 73. Write your memoirs. 74. Build something. 75. Take up archery. 76. Go rock climbing. 77. Take up a new hobby you always dreamed of. 78. Organize bills, receipts, etc. 79. Cook a meal. 80. Go out for ice cream. 81. Buy a stuffed animal. 82. Look at pretty things-like flowers or art work. 83. Create something. 84. Pray or read the Bible. 85. Throw socks against the wall. 86. Make a list of blessings in your life. 87. Go to a friend's house and open up. 88. Take up fencing. 89. Watch an old comedy movie. 90. Call your therapist or make an appointment with one. 91. Talk to someone close to you that you trust. 92. Throw a temper tantrum. 93. Ride a bicycle. 94. Polish silver or jewelry. 95, Start a garden or water your house plants. 96. Re-arrange a room. 97. Feed the ducks, birds, or squirrels. 98. Draw on the walls-or paint with watercolors if you don't want permanence. 99. Play with face paint. 100. Play jacks or pick up sticks. 101. Color with crayons. 102. Memorize a song and sing it. Then, reflect on it's message. 103. Put on boots and stomp. 104. Stretch. 105. Find a butterfly and catch it. 106. Watch fish. 107. Come up with baby names even if you aren't expecting. 108. Go to a public place and people watch. 109. Make a CD of your favorite songs. 110. Name all of your stuffed animals. 111. Go shopping. 112. Get into your PJ's and just veg. 113. Buy cheap teddy bears and take your anger out on them 114. Throw everything on the ground except glass. 115. Go to a loud concert (Make sure it doen't trigger you) 116. Think about your ideal life. What do you have to do to get there? 117. Plan your someday wedding day or upcoming prom. 118. Hunt for stuff on Ebay. 119. Alphabetize your books and magazines. 120. Hunt for your perfect home in the paper or online. 121. Take up Tai Chi. 122. Try to make as many words as possible out of your full name. 123. Count ceiling tiles or lights. 124. Go to the grocery store and buy yourself some flowers. 125. Search for ridiculous things on the web. 126. Google youself. 127. Color co-oridinate your wardrobe. 128. Do a home tan on yourself. 129. Take a hot bath and "be" in the moment. 130. Sort all you photographs. 131. Give yourself a pedicure. 132. Color or scribble over pretty women in magazines. 133. Plan a dinner party with menus and guest list, then carry it out. 134. Go through all your old stuff, and donate to Good Will. 135. Take a walk in the woods and breathe the fresh air. 136. Start a mood journal and write in it every day. Do patterns surface? Track your triggers. 137. Buy yourself some toys and play like you are 5 years old again! 138. Start to collect some thing. 139. Take up kick-boxing. 140. Read a magazine or newspaper. 141. Sew something. 142. Buy a stuffed animal. 143. Take your own dog, or a friend's dog for a walk. 144. Call 1-800-DONT CUT 145. Call 1-800-THERAPIST 146. Read through this list again.
Erynn
- Expert in Self-Harm
December 23rd, 2014 5:44am
DISTRACTIONS are a great places to start: walk, run, cook, draw, watch netflix, read, rip up recycling, draw on yourself, hold ice cubes, ... GROUNDING TECHNIQUES are good to calm down: count to 100, describe your environment, repeat a safety phrase like "i am in the present, i am safe"... EXPRESSING YOURSELF is also helpful: journal, draw, paint, sing, write poetry, talk to a friend, talk on 7Cups, call a hotline.... BREATHING: just notice your breathing and don't change it, count your breaths, practice deep breathing, MINDFULNESS and VISUALIZATION are also great to learn, you can also WAIT and play the 15 minute game where you agree with yourself to not harm int he next 15 minutes and at the 15 minute mark to reevaluate whether you will not harm, will harm or will wait 15 more minutes. You can also practice SELF SOOTHING. There are many many options. It just takes time, experimentation, and practice to begin to find and be able to use healthy coping skills that work for you.
Storm48
April 30th, 2015 8:45pm
I love art, so I would take some Crayola markers and color on my arm or leg (wherever I wanted to self-harm). I ended up spending hours creating these beautiful designs, and by the time I was done with it, I didn't feel the need to self-harm anymore. Plus, it was like the gift that kept on giving, because the design would stay on for awhile, and I wouldn't want to mess up that beautiful design with a cut. It really helped me through many rough times.
thisismejessica
December 24th, 2014 8:37pm
Self-harm is a form of displacing the pain inside you to the physical pain. That's why you can feel released / relax after you harm your self. One way you can do instead is by talking to someone every time you have the urge to self-harm. 7 Cups of Tea is a good place to find that someone, and the listeners here are available 24/7.
CharmingSoul7
December 23rd, 2014 8:17am
I've ben told that drawing on yourself whenever you feel the need to self harm is a good ay to avoid it. Try it!
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2014 12:00pm
I always found holding ice cubes to my skin helped to relieve my urge to self harm. Other things that have helped me include scribbling on myself in red pen, painting my nails or having a relaxing bath.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2014 11:38pm
Instead of self harming you can try distracting yourself with things such as listening to music, watching movies, putting ice where you want to cut, writing someone you care abouts name on where you would like to cut or painting your nails if you're female
Nizio0
March 29th, 2021 7:21am
Thank you for reaching out! There are several ways of dealing with the need to self-harm. Some of them can help you get through the moment, and others distract you or calm you down. An example of a "get through the moment" method may be Ice Method. It works by putting ice-cold water on your upper face. It helps with panic attacks or urges to self-harm, as it triggers a reflex, that automatically slows down your heart and activate relaxation response. It may not help your mind that much, but it'll calm down your body, and it makes it easier. Some ideas for distraction, to help you get your mind off of this: counting backwards by sevens from 100, counting anything you see around you (tiles on the floor, people walking by, etc.), or focusing on self-expression, for example while doing one of your hobbies. Sometimes, you'll need something stronger. In that case, you can use intense sensations: squeeze an ice cube, eat something spicy or sour, take a hot or cold shower. At the end, it's good to slowly calm and soothe yourself. You can do so, by doing various breathing exercises, listening to calm music, or even looking at wholesome animal pictures. It's important, to find out what's right for you. There are also apps directed at those who self-harm Calm Harm app, Mindshift CBT, Breather. You are also welcome to reach out to one of our listeners or therapists on our site for a listening ear! Take care!
Autridev
March 2nd, 2021 3:19am
There are many other ways you can cope with stress, anxiety, and pain without physically harming your body. You could pick up a new hobby, express your thoughts and feelings in a journal, or listen to music that relates to how you feel. One of the most important things to do remember is to talk to someone. A family member, friend, or coming on websites similar to 7Cups who are here to listen. There are tons of other things you could do instead of self-harm that don't physically damage you and makes improves your mental health. Remember that there are people out there to talk to you.
enchantingSky79
January 20th, 2020 4:11pm
Take a rubber band and put it on your wrist like a bracelet, then flick it, it will release feel good chemicals in your brain and it will minimize the need for self harm. It would also be a good idea to hide all those things that you could use to harm yourself. You can also start a new hobby like painting or singing. Dancing also helps relieve stress and anger. Take a class on a hobby so you can stick up with that hobby. Remind yourself every day that you are worthy and it is not your fault! You don’t deserve to harm yourself! Going to therapy also helps. Sometimes you have to do a variety of things to help yourself get out of a bad habit.
AzulFresa77
April 3rd, 2018 7:13pm
I used to self harm a lot, I started coloring (this may sound childish) and I started using music as a way out, I started drawing and using my days reading a etc. I stopped self harming, sometimes I still use self harm if I get too overwhelmed, I know I shouldn't, but I'm getting through it.
BeigeMoonlight
January 11th, 2021 5:27pm
Snap a rubber band around your wrist, draw on yourself with sharpie/draw pretend wounds where you want to cut, when you want to cut, go outside and distract yourself, or pick up a hobby, blast music, take a hot or cold shower. Not luke warm and take your time, pluck your brows, have a pillow fight with the wall/punch pillow, use stress relievers, break sticks, scream (it can be into your pillow) scream until the pain/urges go away, draw, write your feelings down, tear apart papers, hold ice against where you want to cut, massage where you feel like harming yourself, run your hands under cold water, go for a run, go outside and take a few deep breaths, describe 10 things you can touch, see and smell and more.
Michaela01
February 22nd, 2016 4:57am
There are many things you can do instead of self harm. If you're an artist, you can draw a picture on your arm or leg. If you're a writer, when you're starting to feel sad you can pick up your medium and write how you feel. If you're a musician, play your instrument or sing. Go for a run or a walk, something to keep your mind off of self harm.
Ashiya
June 21st, 2016 3:47am
Instead of self harm, you can talk to friends about your strong emotion, hit your arm with an elastic or even draw where you'd like to harm yourself. Another method can be to use ice on the spot you wish to harm. This are effective methods of not harming yourself physically and even mentally.
ThePosea
October 3rd, 2016 2:21am
First of all, you should consult a therapist if you are self harming. If you can't get professional help you should find help in your close environment or even here at 7cups :)
Anonymous
December 4th, 2017 4:48am
You can put that energy into something else like sports, music, drawing, writing. The way you feel will trigger your creativity.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 2:44pm
There is tons of things you can do like span a rubber band on your wrist, hold ice, exercise, scribble and many more things
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2019 7:28pm
Instead of harming yourself (in any way) you can draw a butterfly on the place you want to harm yourself and give it a name of a person who's important to you and let that person know (if this person is aware of your situation and if you're comfortable with it ofcourse) that it is there. When you want to hurt yourself you have to think about that someone cares about you and if you do harm yourself you kill the butterfly. This is called the butterfly project and it has helped me a lot in the past. It is more effective when you let the person know about the butterfly then when it's just for yourself.
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2015 1:59pm
Some good alternatives could be writing, reading, running, yoga, drawing, calming music, etc... A rubber band, red pin, ice cube and so on could also serve as alternatives. If you self harm out of anger then exercise could help. http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/alternatives-to-self-harm-self-injury/ here is a link that may help, it gives many other distraction techniques and ways to cope :) Also speaking to someone about how you feel can most always help
Anonymous
April 12th, 2021 8:35pm
You can use coping skills. You can do other things like holding ice in your hand that is an alternative and is safer than self harm/ self inflicted injury.. I listen to music, read, distract myself. Or talk to people that care. That want to help. And people that understand what's going on and why I want to do it. There's way better things to do than to sh. There is like 100 different things that you could hold or do that would make you feel better but it's safer than sh itself. You can always also reach out to mental health professionals. Explain what's going. Hold a stress ball etc. I hope this helped.
Anonymous
April 13th, 2021 4:48pm
Instead of self-harming, you can try sensory relief or things to keep your hands and mind busy. Self-harm only helps short-term, so that's something you don't want to do. Try focusing your mind on other things and keep yourself away from things you would use to harm yourself with. It's ok to have urges to self-harm, but fighting them shows you're very strong and capable. Again, try snapping a rubber band on your wrist, draw on yourself where you want to cut, or holding ice where you want to cut may be found helpful as well. Stay strong and use positive coping skills! :)
TubbyNugget
February 28th, 2022 5:26pm
hey bud, so sorry you're struggling with self harm... here are some alternatives to self harm that actually work! 1. plunge your face in cold water when you feel like self harming. 2. rub ice over the area you feel like you would wanna self harm on. 3. doodle on the skin with red pen/marker so it induces the feeling of cutting, without causing pain 4. snap a rubber band on your wrist/thigh/hip, because it produces the same effect as self harming / cutting 5. eating spicy food or sauce 6. talking to a friend or a random stranger please know that you're not alone and we as a community are here to support you and listen to you! please feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to! take care bud
Anonymous
January 26th, 2016 3:36am
Flicking a rubber band or hair tie on your wrist, throwing ice cubes into the shower, rubbing ice on your skin, punothing your bed or pillow, going outside and screaming, talking to a pet, talking to parents friends etc.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2015 8:20pm
You could maybe do something you enjoy like if you're into creative things, draw, paint, read and write. If you're into sport you could maybe play ball games like throwing and catching a ball etc. If you like cooking or baking maybe go cook or bake something. I hope this helps 😊 Good Luck !
Anonymous
November 16th, 2015 10:03am
There are many things that you can try, holding ice against your skin because it gives the same sensation, listening to music, talk to someone instead of hurting yourself, make your hands and mind busy by for example drawing?
RickyRick
July 7th, 2015 12:27am
You could be invest your time in a hobby, or any activity that brings you happiness and joy. That's the first step to overcome self harming.
GentleStrength
June 22nd, 2015 3:12pm
Good alternatives are exercise (going for a run for example), taking a shower (cold or hot), snapping rubber bands on your wrist, doing breathing exercises, drawing,... whatever works for you the best.
Anonymous
May 27th, 2015 11:26pm
You could find things to distract yourself. Something that occupies your hands and mind. You could read, walk, watch tv. You could also use rubber bands and snap them against your wrist. It has the same affect but without the aftermath.
livingincolorsth
May 8th, 2015 1:26pm
Try to concentrate in other stuff, try to think about the good stuff of the day and not the bad ones that can lead you to hurt yourself, write your feeling you can torn that paper apat later, try to take out that negative energy in other ways.
sweetMonkey122
April 4th, 2015 8:10am
Watching videos on youtube or listening to music helps me a lot, some other things that could help other people is art. Draw something even if it isn't "good" it could be a simple line if that's what helps you. You could also fight the urge by writing stories, or poetry.