Why do I always feel useless and unloved after a breakup?
Wanderlust
on
Jun 17, 2015
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Well, the hard truth is you were dependent on someone else to share the love with you. It's like if you can't stand by yourself, and every time the person you lean on walks away, you fall and wait for the next person to support you so you can stand. It's the same with love. If you love yourself, you support yourself, so everytime someone breaks up or leaves, you won't feel unloved and unworthy because you know your worth, and your value
Breakups can be hard
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tanizam07
on
Feb 20, 2015
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Breakups are extremely difficult because they are a time of transition. Though transition can be a really good thing, it is often uncomfortable. When we are in relationships, we often find our self-identity and self-worth in the relationship and that other person. After experiencing a breakup, we have to learn how to readjust to life as an individual. It's not easy - and naturally we can feel useless and unloved. But once you change your perspective and learn to love yourself for who you are, and not what relationship you're in, the gray cloud lifts. Focus on taking care of yourself and you'll never go wrong...
Anonymous
on
Jan 5, 2016
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It's a natural thought process after every breakup. The one person who meant the world to us has let go,or we have let go of them. First thing that comes to mind is if we would ever find that same connection with someone else. We feel like there might be no other.
Anonymous
on
Feb 16, 2016
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someone used to give all his/her attention to us.so when we breakup no one give the special attention. We lose our bestfriend and someone important to us.
starryRiver83
on
Feb 20, 2015
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Breakups are always hard because it can never be ended with the words 'I want to break up', there is always the question of why? is it something that you did? is there something wrong with you? You were once close to someone and it is hard to back away from that closeness. And it is ok to be sad and upset, it's normal to go through emotions following a break-up. But it doesn't mean that you are unloved and useless. Should you be struggling to move forward from a break-up, I would advise the self-help guide on this website. It may help you to think about things more clearly and more rationally about the break-up, rather than thinking in terms of how the relationship reflects you as a person.
MountainHills
on
May 24, 2015
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You may feel that way because you have parted with probably a big part of your life. They most likely have given you alot to remember and loseing that maybe won't have a positive impact on your feelings.
grace205
on
May 30, 2015
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This is a normal reaction. Depending on how long you have been broken up the absence of constant affection and support would make anyone upset.
AlwaysAllWays
on
Sep 8, 2015
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it's perfectly normal to feel "useless and unloved" after a breakup. We invest so much time and worth and love into our partner, and we expect them to do the same. Eventually, their opinion of us holds a lot of weight for us. Breaking up with someone, even if amicably done, can trigger feeling of "unworthiness" because that person no longer wants to be your main focus, or they no longer want you as their main focus and it's hard not to take that personally, or emotionally. But that doesn't mean that we cant take the time to regain our self-worth, and establish our worthiness from within! It just takes a bit of time and some healing! Wishing you all the best! Always.
Anonymous
on
Sep 18, 2015
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It's normal to feel this way after a breakup. Breakups can be so hard and can really damage our self esteem. But after a while, many find that their happiness and worth doesn't depend on a person, and they learn to be their own friend:)
amazingCreature23
on
Jan 25, 2016
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Because you aren't with that person that you loved everyday like you used to. So you aren't used to not hearing from them or seeing them.
peacefulWinter66
on
Jun 7, 2016
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It's normal to feel useless and unloved after a breakup. You're still in the process of acceptance. Don't be too hard on yourself. Break ups are never easy. The important thing, after a breakup, is to concentrate on how you can make yourself feel better. Take comfort and power in the fact that you've come out on the other side. You're stronger than you think.
rodentCult
on
Jul 11, 2016
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when you no longer have somebody providing you with that support and reassurance of your value, you can feel pretty empty. the important part is that you find outside things and people that can provide you with that in a healthy manner.
Impala67
on
Jan 30, 2017
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It's normal to be a wreck after a break up. Someone comes into your life, makes you feel specia, brings light into your life. Then they leave, and they take all that good away with them. The thing is, all that good is still inside you and one day, you'll find that out for yourself.
valerie2197
on
Nov 20, 2017
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When someone who means so much to you tells you they don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, it's easy to feel like you are not worth it.
EvocativeWit
on
Jan 30, 2018
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It is natural to feel so after coming out of a relationship where 2 people are dependent on each other. However, humans are great at adapting, you need to feel what your mind demands you to, don't repress it. And then, you continue with an experience you can value later and will help you in the future.
Joye74
on
Apr 10, 2018
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I guess, little bit rejection shadows the self esteem and worthy. So no worries, with time it comes back.
richyShiny39
on
Apr 17, 2018
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If you are on the loosing in its not going to be easy. In the past i used to get so upset. This is life. It is hard but i learned o stay positive and busy. Do things that you feel you can to better yourself. It takes time. It is a learning experience. Try to make you a better person and a as time moves on try to do things that make you happy. Surround yourself with people who are positive. Find out more of what you need to know more about yourself. Its ok to cry. Just you are in charge i realized to forgive and be happy. You deserve to know that you are in your own life and you are aware that you are responsible for your life. I had to learn this and for me it was then i can move forward. I needed to make it through what i had really good or not to hate myself and be happy. After that i can love again another.
beautifulWillow99
on
Jul 3, 2018
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That is our body's way of coping with things we go though different stages after a break up shock sadness grieif and freedom
HelpAndHealing
on
Aug 7, 2018
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At a guess from personal experience, because you blame yourself for everything. You think that because the relationship didn't last, you must somehow have messed up and are therefore no good at it. That's not true - people are complex and sometimes things just don't work out.
As for feeling unloved, losing romantic love is hard as no other love is quite the same, but spend time with friends and family and tell them how you feel - hopefully they can help you see that you'll always be loved.
starrySunset3077
on
May 19, 2020
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When you're in a relationship, you're used being with someone who's essentially your best friend. Someone you tell everything to, and hang out with all the time. Someone you laugh and cry with. When you experience a breakup, that communication isn't going to be the same and it's that connection that's going to make you feel unloved. That feeling is completely normal, and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way, especially when going through a breakup. Eventually what happens, is you get unused to all that contact and get used to living without that person, and that's how moving on happens. In order to do that, the most important thing is to focus on other things.