How can I stop my parents from expecting me to follow their career advice rather than what I want to do?
sereneForest90
on
Jan 12, 2015
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My father want me to become an engineer, but I love literature and I feel like I should work with that. Well, it is not easy. You can remember that you can't live up to anyone's expectations. Even your parents' .
I know that disobeying seems wrong and perhaps disrespectful, but it will be necessary. Do what you love and what inspires you. Your parents may expect you to follow their career advice, maybe for sometime, and you will have to live with it. Talk to them about your decision and know that maybe its not possible to change their thinking. You can't get in a person's head. I know you love your parents and want their approval, but you have to stand up for yourself. I love literature and I know my father devalues my degree and thinks and maybe won't change his thinking, but I have to do what I love and what I believe in.
Respect is a 2 way street. If your parents don't respect your career decision, you don't have to obbey and follow their advice.
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PositivityHereAlways
on
Jun 6, 2015
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Hi there! I would suggest that you sit them down and have a mature conversation with them. They may not know how you feel, therefore if you try to express yourself to them they may understand. This is a very common problem nowadays, so just know that you're not alone! It also really depends what age you are, as if you're young then your parents might not want you to make a mistake. If your old enough however, then talking to them would be the best idea. You could also give evidence of why the career path you chose is good by showing them a website or even making a power point!
Trying to persuade your parents to stop them making you follow their career advice varies, as all parents are different. Some are easier to persuade, and some are harder. As I don't know you or them very well, all I can suggest is talking with them.
I hope you have a great day.
WolfImmortal
on
Sep 29, 2015
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Just go on to follow the career you want. And someday they will realize that you have reached an irreversible point in your career and that you can't switch career at that point in life. Then they will have no option but to stop expecting you to follow their career advice, and will have to accept you for whatever career you followed.
starryRiver83
on
Feb 15, 2015
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It is often difficult, because a lot of parents really want the best for their children and want them to grow into a secure career with many prospects. But it is your life and if you have a goal, that is different to what they want from you, then you need to do what makes you happy and explain that to them.
Anonymous
on
Apr 24, 2015
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You can let them know that you'll consider their advice and explore different options, then make a choice based on what you think will be best for you. They need to know that their advice isn't going to be ignored, that they will be heard. But, at the end, you have to make sure you do what makes you happy. It's the only way you'll stay happy whilst doing what you're doing.
aremedy4memory
on
May 16, 2015
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being direct and talking to them straight about the fact that it bothers you can help a lot if the choose to actually listen
Anonymous
on
Jun 30, 2015
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Well, first you have to respect their decision. They indeed only want the best for you. If they see that you respect them and their wishes, they will (hopefully) respect you to decide for yourself. If everything else fails, work hard to reach your goals and don't expect other people to do it for you.
Anonymous
on
Aug 3, 2015
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They cant be stopped, just avoid them. 20 Years from now you will be the only one responsible, so do what you want to do.
Samalyn
on
Aug 11, 2015
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The biggest thing that you can do is to just follow what you want to do. Eventually they'll be okay with it.
Fitrandi
on
Oct 26, 2015
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I know it can be easy to say but... Talk to them. Let them know what you want to do and what it would do to you to become what they want you to become vs what you want to become. Parents are sometimes scared of the opportunities their child will have in their chosen career. To counter this do your research get informed on what you want to do and also, show them that you are an independent person with independent thoughts. If this fails try to get someone they value and hold in high esteem to talk to them in your favour. It can be your grand-ma, an advisor, a spiritual leader, etc.
RelaxHaveACuppa
on
Jan 4, 2016
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Maybe you could try to sit down calmly and speak to them. Explain to them that this is very important to you. And that following this career path isn't going to make you happy. Even include what career move would make you happy, tell them your dreams and ideas and what it is you would like to do and the steps your willing to do to make this work.
Meowkindcatmeow
on
Mar 22, 2016
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Try telling them that what you really want to do will make you happy even if it is path that seems difficult and impossible at the moment. But of you were to follow their career advice and do what they want then you will never be as fulfilled or as happy as you could have been. You want a certain meaning from your life and your career and it can be achieved by your own plan not your parents. They want what is best for you and they want to provide you with a better future then they had at your age but pushing their views on a life for you will do nothing for you in the long run.
nrigaud
on
Apr 5, 2016
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Parents will be parents and they want what they think is best for you. Explain to them that you want to follow your own path, you don't want to set out on their ideals/goals, and if they love you, they should respect you for that.
agpz11
on
May 23, 2016
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Try to sit down and have a talk with them. Tell them what do you want to do, and convince them that you know what you are doing. Many times, parents believe that they give their children the best advice because they have been through more in life, and they feel that they understand their children. However, that may not be the case and you, as their child, can respectfully tell them that you have your own path to choose and take.
Anonymous
on
Jul 26, 2016
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You can expect your parents from expecting you to follow their career advice by having your own career plan and constantly working to your career goals. If you do this you have more confidence and conviction when questioned about what you want to do with your life.
KingAl
on
Aug 22, 2016
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Explain to your parents, the profits and advantages in your career. Start off by explaining to them, why you choose to take that career. Then tell the more about the career, the scope, the earnings. Tell them you wanna do something that you are interested in. Then explain why you don't want their career path. If they're supportive, they'll understand.
Anonymous
on
Oct 17, 2016
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By letting them know that it's not what you want to do and telling them how it makes you feel that their expecting this from you. Let them know what you actually want or if you're undecided, but at the end of the day it's your future, you're life, and your decision.
brightWaterfall77
on
Apr 10, 2017
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Try to sit with them and talk about it together ! I'm sure, they want you to be happy, so they let you choose and do what you think is the best. Just not be afraid, you won't solve anything !
caringmelon
on
Jul 24, 2017
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Talk to them nicely. Tell them you have an alternative career path in mind. Ask them for their full support instead of going against them by shouting or even speaking disrespectfully. You may have tried telling them a hundred million times about your career path, and if that don't work, try another million times again until they start supporting you. Be patient.
Anonymous
on
Aug 13, 2018
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Be you don't let anyone tell you what path to take or how've to control your life because your the one living it so you do what you feel you should do and always follow your heart