My father is having an extramarital affair. Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me a lot. How do I deal with this situation?
Greatlistener87
on
Jul 15, 2016
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You can make it clear to him that u do not encourage what he did to your mum, but as his child you will respect his decision and be happy for him.
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Anonymous
on
Jul 17, 2016
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Discuss the situation with, find a way to make peace, simply picking up your things and leaving may not help your anger. You deserve an explanation and there is not harm in seeking one.
ItCanGetBetter007
on
Aug 7, 2016
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If your mother does not know about this, the best thing to do is talk to your father. Let him know your feelings, let him explain to you what and why he did what he did. Although cheating is never right, there are always two sides to the story. I have dealt with this problem with my own parents, so I understand your feelings.
Anonymous
on
Aug 5, 2016
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If you love your father you should and end your relationship because one day you will regret it as I know from personal experience. The father will not be depressed with you he may be upset but he will understand where you're coming from
JadeLC
on
Aug 26, 2016
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I think this situation is extremely personal to the individual! I may not know what you're relationship is like with your father, but if his decisions are putting you and your relationship with him in an awkward or uncomfortable place then I think it's worth talking about. If you need to discuss - be it with a close friend or other family member first that you trust in order to feel it out, go for it! But he's your father, and you deserve to feel at peace with your relationship with him. I personally hate confronting people but force myself to do it when I know it means it opens up room for growth and development.
XsetarehX
on
Aug 27, 2016
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Follow your heart. Cheating is very wrong in every situation. your father should of thought about the consequences when he decided to have an affair.
Anonymous
on
Jul 17, 2016
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It's is a difficult turn for your family but nobody cheats for the joy of it. There is an underlying issue. Good luck to your family.
Anonymous
on
Jul 21, 2016
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Do what you think is best for you. Your father did what he thought was best for him. He is an adult. You are a mature individual wth your own boundaries. Do not let him cross them. He loves you a lot, but he chose to have the affair. For whatever reason. Maybe you need to find out the reason before you decide to go cold turkey. You can give him a chance if he is willing to change. Take your time,
fantasticDreamer20
on
Aug 6, 2016
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Hey there, personally I think that you should speak to your dad about how you feel about this situation. As you have mentioned your dad does love you a lot, therefore he should understand how you are feeling and take them feelings into account. You may also sit both of your parents down and talk to them about it... after you speak to your dad of course. Maybe they are unhappy together or something is lacking in their relationship and they can't just figure out what to do on their own. You may be the one able to help.
Anonymous
on
Sep 2, 2016
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My father in law had a extra marital affair and my wife been though exactly the same thing. She told me that her father was never in a happy relationship with her mom for over 20 years and she saw the misery in him being with her. However despite what he did, she still maintains great contact with him and came to forgive and understand. I believe it is important to understand what circumstance that made him cheat on your mother and propelled him to risk his relationship with his kids. Evidently he loves you very much but perhaps he had troubles with your mother for awhile, perhaps it was due to lust. Your relation is between you and your father only and not between him, you, and your mother. The weight of valuation on your current relation versus the outcome of burning bridges must be thought out clearly.
LexaLexy
on
Oct 20, 2017
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You can take your father's feelings into consideration, but at the end of the day, you have to think about yourself and what's best for you. I know it can feel like you're being selfish, but in this situation, it would be considered self-care.
peterc
on
Jun 7, 2017
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This is hard; they are your parents after all. So easy to choose sides. But your relationship with your dad and with your mom is separate from their relationship with each other. You can love them both without having to step in and take responsibility for their decisions, or their lack of responsibility. If you feel yourself moving to judgment, try saying inside yourself: "this is not a situation I need to judge because I am not the owner. I can support without having to judge ultimate rights and wrongs here."
Laks1
on
Jul 16, 2016
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Have a chat with him and tell him how you feel about his actions. He loves you alot and would be willing to change
crispAngel57
on
Oct 12, 2016
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I would be honest with your dad about it. Tell him that you aren't okay with what he is doing. Maybe cutting him off will be the best option
sereneWriting55
on
Nov 19, 2016
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That's so hard. I am sorry. Your Dad will always be your Dad, and as much as it must hurt to see your mom hurt, you can't protect her from any of that. You can not like how your dad is behaving but still love your dad. The good news is you don't have to make any decisions today.
Anonymous
on
Jun 3, 2018
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Tell him how you feel and how he hurt you and your mom. Tell him that you love him but what he did was wrong. You may be able to forgive him in the future, but you will never forget. Take some time away and give yourself a chance to process this. You have a right to feel what you feel. Good luck!
zaatarHoney
on
May 11, 2019
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This has got to be one of the most difficult questions i’ve answered. When I was young, my father had us meet his sancha (the other woman), and it was so uncomfortable. We forgave him and moved forward, when all that concluded. I was too young to really understand what was happening, and no one talked about it with me, I just knew it felt wrong. If I found out as I got older, I don’t know how I’d feel about it. I think I’d moreso focus on my mom and build her self-esteem, encouraging her to remember her own beauty and empowerment... more than how I’d ‘punish’ my dad. Humans make mistakes, and humans can be so inconsiderate and hurtful- but focusing on those impacted by their disrespect, can help them rise again- and when you see them happy and thriving, the hurt you feel by what happened may dissipate. But truly, it’s up to you. What feels right to you. All actions have consequences, and how you choose to move forward are his, and soon, there’ll be consequences for yours too. That’s life, and there are no wrong decisions in life. Every decision has a consequence, and they impact our future. This is why it’s important to follow our intuition, and not our anxieties. This is honestly a very tough case, and I hope you take time to yourself to mend and process what happened/is happening. ♡ I encourage you to each out for support as often as you need it, love. TC
Anonymous
on
Sep 22, 2019
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I'm sure you love your father a lot and so does he..however imagine yourself in your mother's shoes, wouldn't you feel even worse if your daughter doesn't tell you about the affair and does nothing at all? Being disloyal in a relationship is the worst thing ever.. relationship without loyalty and trust is nothing. I know it'll be really difficult for you to confront this situation therefore I wish you all the strength. You don't have to completely cut ties with your father however let him know how much damage he has inflicted on your relationship by having the affair.
naturalForest78
on
Nov 6, 2020
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hello, first of all i am really sorry that you had to witness something like this. i know how that feels. i really hope it gets better for you soon. i think you should try to talk to him about it, but it also depends on your relationship with your mom and how you are feeling. do you live with your mom and dad? are you hundred percent sure that he is having an extramarital affair? do you feel that what is happening is really unfair to your mom? (of course, it is.) do you know a possible reason why he would do this? either way, you should try to talk to him about it in a calm manner. see what he says. confront him. and maybe then you can think over it, and take a decision for yourself with a calm mind because taking impulsive decisions won’t help. come to a conclusion after talking it out. sending loads of love your way xx
NumberEleven
on
Jul 15, 2016
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Try to think both rationally and emotionally. Although you know about this situation, it's not necessarily your responsibility to fix it. Talk to your dad about it, from an adult to another adult and perhaps try to see things from his point of view.
