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AssumingVillage
1 157 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceApril 30, 2022
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Sexual Assualt and Relationships Afterwards: Advice needed
Trauma Support / by AssumingVillage
Last post
 October 4th, 2024
...See more I'm struggling a bit right now. I am a Bi woman who has solely dated women or feminine presenting women in my past due to my trauma that I have from assault when I was younger. However, I've recently started dating this really great guy who has been understanding of my boundaries and my desire to take our relationship slow due to my past. I need advice on how to go foward; ei, how to become more comfortable around him. I've been staving off panic attacks if I think he is going to kiss me, etc. He has NOT went over my comfort level but the idea and prospect has been bringing back this trauma. I want to be able to show him affection without having these attacks and I'm just not sure how to go forward. This hasn't been an issue in my past relationships with women/afab individuals and is just now cropping up as this is my first relationship with a Amab man. Any advice is appreciated, I don't want him to feel uncared for just because of the things that have happened to me in the past.
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Confusion and Mirrors
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by AssumingVillage
Last post
 April 21st, 2024
...See more I look in the mirror and I see myself and I wonder why I can't seem to be a woman, I am a woman physically but when I see myself it doesn't connect. I'm so confused, I want to be a woman but I can't seem to be, and I don't understand why. I am AFAB but I want to be a woman. I've struggled with the concept of gender for a long time but this has just been keeping me up tonight. I stare in the mirror and don't see a woman when that is what I want to see.
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Gender Struggles
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by AssumingVillage
Last post
 May 26th, 2023
...See more I've questioned my gender for a very long time now, years. And while I am not uncomfortable with being referred to as a woman I feel disconnected from it, and when I think about identifying as a man I also get that same disconnect. This has led me to the belief I might be nonbinary, and while it seems easy to type out now it has been very difficult to come to this realization, as I am still connected with femininity in a way that I like to be 'pretty'. I've had to work through alot of internalized trans phobia and fear of my future if I accepted I am not a woman, something that still weighs on me a keeps me firmly in the closet. Can anyone else relate?
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The Desire to be Alone
Depression Support / by AssumingVillage
Last post
 December 21st, 2022
...See more Throughout my life have been very lonely, starting as an only child and continuing through my highschool years and now recently in my work life, as I left highschool a year ago. In many ways it felt like a consistent loneliness with bouts of people to fill the silence, then they would fade and I would step back into being alone. And while the desire to meet and talk to people is there, the desire to be utterly alone sort of looms over me. While I hate being so lonely, when I was around people I would yearn to go back to being alone. Comfort in the lack of responsibility to others and the fact that while alone, no one could hurt you in the way another person could. I have begun to wonder, that maybe in some ways, it is a form of self punishment. Recently I have lost all of my friend's, coming out of highschool you are bound to loose some, but I have lost them all. In part it is my own fault, I am a terrible texter and I tend to fall very blandly, I lost some friends due to arguments and then some to a slow drifting of personalities. For a while the ending of my closest friendships haunted me, I continued to be around them and they would look at me and I could still feel the familiarity between us, in some ways they still hid behind me for comfort, even if not in the same way. But as time has gone on the setting in of loneliness takes home in me, and I desire to know more than just my family. Human relationships help keep pushing people forward, but I have none other than those in my home, while I love them dearly, don't suffice. I feel stuck, trapped in a town of only 2000 people, wasting away. As I started college I realized that I would have the opportunity to meet new people and form new friends. Sadly I came to realize that I am very out of practice those and I didn't not talk to anyone for the entire first semester, apart from the required amount. And, unfortunately, not one person caught my interest, so it is a bit of self sabotage, I suppose. I don't know how people do it, it's hard to met people when at my age I feel worn thin, unable to meaningfully connect with others and because of the pain I feel due to my body.
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