Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
Athena2013
1 145 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 30, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
Athena2013 profile picture
Trust issues
Relationship Stress / by Athena2013
Last post
 May 2nd, 2021
...See more My husband doesnt seem to trust me sometimes. For instance he will say something, and I'll ask him about it later and he will say he Never said it. Like he will say we will do something one day or to expect a present after a weekend away and when it comes to that time he will say he never said it, and I'll say its no big deal most the time but that he did say it and must not rememeber. He will get mad about it sometimes and say no he didnt and I'll remind him we forget things but I specifically remember said conversation. Anyways its hard to explain but pretty much he hints alot that he thinks I lie about things hes said. Now I have Never lied to him once, in 5 years, I know in todays society its hard to believe but its true, I'm very big in honesty, hes lied to me a bit himself. But its like he thinks I lie and say he says things I guess to manipulate him. Now my husband grew up with a Very Very manipulative mother and passive aggressive father. I know she'd lie about her health to get him to spend more time with her or get more money from him. And I believe maybe this is why I doesnt trust anybody. I dont believe he can Believe, truly believe that someone can be 100% honest because of how he grew up. But this hurts me so much, hes lied and ive learned to trust him again but ive never lied to him and it feels very unfair to me that he cant trust me fully. I guess I feel like I deserve total trust because of my complete honesty with him. I just dont know what I can do to get his full trust
Athena2013 profile picture
Marriage Workload Advice
Relationship Stress / by Athena2013
Last post
 April 6th, 2021
...See more So my husband works more then me. He has a high demanding job so like average 50 hours a week while I only do like 30 but I do almost all the errands and more of the household work. Anyways in the past hes been a bit judgmental about my days off. But also if I'm really exhausted he will tell me if I need to stay home to feel better its okay, but usually later on, like an argument a week later he will complain about how I dont work as much as him. He really is understanding a good amount of the time but he can be judgmental about my workload sometimes. Right now I'm on a break at work and I feel really sick tonight, like I'm thinking of going home early. And I'm afraid to tell him like the thought of lying and not telling him has crossed my mind (not that I will do that ive never lied to him and I wont start now) but I hate that I feel this way, I dont want to be afraid to go home early because I'm sick. I cant say I know exactly what my question is or what advice I'm wanting here but I guess does anyone know of a way I can work on this, so I'm not afraid to tell him these things. Or perhaps a way to talk to him about it. Just any thoughts at all on the subject as its really getting to me lately.
Athena2013 profile picture
Advice please
Relationship Stress / by Athena2013
Last post
 February 10th, 2021
...See more So recently I discovered my husband was talking to someone and thats it for 3 months. Now this post isnt so much about that as it is about me needing help with my anxiety and my needs. See we are working on things and choosing to try to fix things. Since this happened I am trying to be more independent so we can both remember who we are, but due to what happened in feeling extremely needy towards him. Needing assurances ALOT more and wanting to talk to him more, which I know isnt going to help things. But I cant help it, we have both been at work for an hour and a half now and I'm on break and I want to talk to him so badly but I'm trying not to, and everyone (family friends) are asleep as I work nightshift. So I'm trying to get ideaa for what I can do when I get like this. My anxiety is high because I need to talk to someone so bad but I can't as they are asleep and I'm trying to get space with my husband. So any tips or ideals?
Athena2013 profile picture
Infidelity/help
Relationship Stress / by Athena2013
Last post
 February 22nd, 2021
...See more So tomight I found out my husband has been talking to someone for 3 months. Well a little less. He has talked about 3 times a week. Only over texting and its mostly been about their days. A few pictures (normal) have been sent and light flirting and nothing past this. Now my husband partly started by saying we should end things now, when I asked him he said because first off he was planning on ending things with her soon because he loves me and wants things to get fixed between us but because I found out about this he feels we can never repair us now since I now cant trust him etc. Quick fact about my husband he has never been with anybody but me. Never kissed anyone or anything at all, never drank or did the young free life thing. We met when he was 21 and I was 24 I have had the young free thing and have a kid. Okay so my husband broke down as we were discussing our next steps and said that he loves me and he Knows that I am the love of his life. Period. No questions. That we have true love 100%. But that he feels like he missed out on the kid free young crazy stuff, like never being with anyone else, he also never wanted a kid this young, and sometimea he geta so angry about it he resents me and then says things like ending our marriage (and meaning it at the time) then when he "comes to his senses" in his words, hates himself for it and think I love her she all I want why do I hurt her. He also said that hes not sure it'll ever stop which is why hes not sure if we should end things or stick it out, he doesnt know how to not wander and want the free life for a little while but he loves me and wants me. The infidelity is hard and learning to trust him is hard, right now we are trying to rest to clear our heads but has anyone ever been through anything like this? Does anybody think he can ever just be happy and not have to have the free times stuff? Or any advice for him to let those consuming thoughts go? Any advice for me if this marriage can be saved
Athena2013 profile picture
Advice Needed
Relationship Stress / by Athena2013
Last post
 January 30th, 2021
...See more So my husband and I have been in a really rough patch lately. Honestly with me wandering if its just a rough patch or if he has changed so fundamentally that hes not even to his core the man I married. For now though I just want to ask about one situation for now, and I'll explain in detail so its not out of context. So I wrote my husband a love letter (hes military so it was sort of a throwback I put his address from basic on it and everything) and left it in a book he takes to work with him as he works night shift and can sometimes read it. Now he hasnt got much sleep and has a 21 to 22 hour day ahead of him. Well I asked him if he was going to read his book and he said probably not so I figured well I'll have to give it away. So I asked him if he would do me a favor and look in his book at some point soon tonight and he said sure. Few hours later when I asked if he had and he got irritated asking why I was nagging him about reading the book, I explained it wasnt about the book that I left him something in it. At this point he was irritated (I am not fully aware why) and tells me he will read the f****** thing when he can. After he does he tells me and I ask what he thought and he just says "what do you want it to mean it was just you reminiscing" at this point I'm hurt and hes at that point where hes just angry and annoyed which pretty much means he shuts down and doesnt care about anything. So I tell him "I'm not okay with the way you are treating me right now and I know the state your in right now so your not going to apologize and I don't want to get off the phone in a fight but I'm not happy with this situation" at this point he says " I'll talk to you later bye" and hangs up. Now we have a promise/deal that even if we are upset with each other we say I love you before we get off the phone so the other knows we just need space and it will be okay. I tried calling him back and even texted asking him to please call back so we can keep our promise, and within the message I also asked him to please do this for me this time. He has read my texts and not replied and has ignored my calls. Its been 3 hours now. I'm not even fully sure what im wanting to know here. But this has been happening often lately and I'm wandering if I should be understanding I guess or not. To me this behavior is immature and he is breaking a promise to me. Is this something many people do and I should just let it go or should I wait for a real apology and not let this behavior be acceptable? Just any thoughts on this would be helpful.
Search more from @Athena2013
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
7 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Teammate Forum Friend
Report an issue