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Elchicodelaventana
1 144 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceJuly 21, 2025
Bio

I just want to try to feel better for myself and for others, because if I'm not okay myself, how can I expect to help others? :(

Recent forum posts
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I want to rest, but to rest I have to live, and living hurts.
Depression Support / by Elchicodelaventana
Last post
 November 27th, 2025
...See more I'm trying. I really am trying, but sometimes I even feel like I hate myself. I see myself as so small that I feel insignificant, incapable of anything. And almost every day I feel tired and drained because of that, because I'm exhausted, and that prevents me from moving forward. But at the same time, I can't find a way to overcome it, I can't find any "support" that truly helps me. I try to distract myself by thinking about other things or even playing games, sometimes even writing. But what I feel overwhelms me, and I start thinking about it while I'm doing those things. I don't feel like I can be at peace at any point. And just a little while ago, I started thinking about it again. About "hurting myself." I haven't tried it, I didn't try it, and I don't want to try it. Because deep down, I know that's not what I want. But I just feel like it was good to say it. Keeping that feeling inside makes me feel worse, and the mere act of writing it down makes me feel freer. But I sincerely hope that soon everything will be over. I want it to get better for me, so I can feel "alive" again, even with the things that seem smallest or most insignificant.
Elchicodelaventana profile picture
I don't know why I do things.
Depression Support / by Elchicodelaventana
Last post
 October 10th, 2025
...See more I have felt lonely and depressed these past few months, I feel lonely even if I know I have unanswered messages, I feel lonely even when my family sees me every day, I feel lonely even when I want to be It. I've been thinking that I don't have to make sense of things, that sometimes it's okay to just enjoy the little things... But there came a time when that is not enough, now I don't even know why I do that, even when I feel like I'm doing something that makes me happy, there is a void that makes me feel like I'm asleep or something like that. Right now I don't feel motivated to do what I used to do, and even if I try to do it without motivation, I feel like I'm falling to my knees again, like I just can't give any more. It's too much weight for me.
Elchicodelaventana profile picture
I don't know what to do now
General Support / by Elchicodelaventana
Last post
 July 24th, 2025
...See more The truth is that I am very introverted and shy with people, going out even with my family generates enormous stress for me, so much so that sometimes my stomach hurts or I get nauseous. For me, something as simple as going to the movies or getting a haircut is deeply complicated, and that's why I don't have any friends physically. I tried to make friends online and also try to meet a special someone, you know... I guess I could use some loving for once. But I've tried everything and I always come back to the same point, the only thing that makes me feel better is simply believing that in 5 or 10 years when I grow up I will be less shy and I will be able to do those things without fear. Although I feel honest, I'm increasingly starting to believe that simply having people by my side is not for me, at least not for now. Sorry if I write a lot, but there's so much I've kept back... They always tell me "Just wait and these things will come" but it is very frustrating when I have literally gone 3 years without seeing anyone physically other than my family or strangers on the street, without seeing any friend or a girl I'm in love with.
Elchicodelaventana profile picture
I just want to get it out of my system
Depression Support / by Elchicodelaventana
Last post
 July 24th, 2025
...See more I don't know what to say here, I don't usually feel comfortable writing something for many people but at the same time I feel like I want to say it. I feel lonely, not just physically, but emotionally...Sometimes when I'd like to ask for help the most, I feel like my friends aren't there, and deep down I know they are, but there's something in me that makes me feel like I'm alone in this. And even if I wanted to go out and make real friends, maybe meet that one girl who could understand me... It feels almost impossible to do so,Because for as long as I can remember, I've always been terrified of interacting with people, and now I just don't have the confidence or security to try it again.
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