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Kyblacksheep
507 M Embraced 4
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceApril 23, 2020
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Need advice.
Relationship Stress / by Kyblacksheep
Last post
 May 7th, 2020
...See more I've had bad relationships over and over again over the past year. Things go SO well the first month, and by the second everything falls apart. I'm begging him for attention and he doesn't want to give me not only more but any. I feel like I give my all to a relationship and end up destroying it. And then when things are over, I block out the memories and everything, and then keep missing them until someone new comes along. Is there something wrong with me? Am I toxic?
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2 things a once
Relationship Stress / by Kyblacksheep
Last post
 April 24th, 2020
...See more I came over to my ex's house and he was high eating pizza. We had been on and off again for a couple weeks and I came over as a surprise to directly say that I wanted to be there for him and help him through anything. I asked him to make the decision if he wanted to be with me or not because I thought it was stupid for us to be apart when I wanted to be there for him through what he was going through mentally. His dog and cat (which we got together before this) came and sat on my lap and he said "I wish I could take a picture of this and save this moment". And when I kept reassuring him and saying I loved him and we could could get through anything together and I wanted to him to just say yes or not to being together he said "no because my family and friends have seen how hurt/how much I've cried and I cant do that to them, how would I explain it?". I've been struggling with understanding how someone could talk about marriage and kids and getting animals together and even saying the thing about holding onto me and the animals but then turn around and say no to being together because of other people and what they think. How do I move on?
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Am I to the toxic one?
Relationship Stress / by Kyblacksheep
Last post
 May 2nd, 2020
...See more I recently saw a YouTube video about the 10 signs you're in a toxic relationship and I've been trying to ask myself this question over and over again. Does anyone else think about this and if so what signs do you think could you ask yourself about toxicity? Coming from a gal who's been in a 3 year abusive relationship, this would help a lot! Thank you!
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Black sheep
Anxiety Support / by Kyblacksheep
Last post
 April 24th, 2020
...See more Hey! This is my first time writing anything out in the open about my anxiety/feelings, my journal hasn't even seen the light of day yet. I've been dealing with a lot of thoughts racing through my head, some completely irrational and it scares the hell out of me. I feel like I've been through one too many abusive relationships where I've been heavily gaslighted that at this point, I believe/am fearful of everyone around me lying/judging/criticizing me. I've got to the point where I truly feel like a black sheep in this world and cant even bring myself to do anything about for myself. How the hell do I get out of this? What's the first step? Because I'm too fearful to even get better before things go to shit again. Thanks everyone <3
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