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Lindsey103
1 33,476 M Determined Treads 5
PathStep 67 Compassion hearts1,111 Forum posts122 Forum upvotes621 Current upvotes621 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceJuly 30, 2023
Bio

I really could use someone to talk to tonight preferably someone that doesn't talk like a bot and someone that gets it or at least trys too 😒

Recent forum posts
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Wanting help without knowing how to ask
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 August 15th
...See more Sometimes the things going on inside your head get so scary that you don’t even know how to put them into words. You want to tell someone. You want someone to know what youre really going through. You want to scream for help but at the same time youre terrified of what will happen if you actually let someone in.
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It's getting so much harder to eat lately.
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 June 30th
...See more I'm finding that eating is just stressful you have to decide on what you want to eat and you have to pay for it and things are so expensive I'm finding it easier to not eat at all.
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It's weird. Tw: Sexual Assault
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 June 18th
...See more Its weird being away from the person who sexually assaulted me multiple times. It's weird that I can wear cute pajamas around the house without thinking I'm showing too much skin. It's weird not being on edge constantly wondering when it'll happen again. It's weird to actually be able to work on things in therapy because I'm finally out of that house and away from him. Therapy is hard. I had a session today, and my therapist is great but talking about things I've never talked about before is gut wrenching. I want to forget but I cant. Therapy doesn't help in that aspect I can't even try to forget or avoid thinking about it because therapy is bringing it up. At the same time, it's a relief to have therapy because it's really the first time I'm being heard, believed, and not being told to be quiet or stop talking about it. So, as hard as therapy is I feel like it's a huge help. However its exhausted me for the day. I'm tired. I want to cry and sleep but sadly I have to work soon.
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Quote
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 February 6th
...See more "You're not broken. You're having a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of tramua."
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I Feel Crazy. Tw: Sibling Sexual Abuse
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 December 14th, 2025
...See more Welp, I’m a wreck, to be honest. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t know which feelings are right or which ones are wrong, or if there’s even a wrong way to feel. I want so badly to be over what my brother did to forget about it or simply move on like everyone wants me to. They act like I want to feel the way I do, or like I’m acting the way I do for attention. I don’t want him to be a part of my life, but he is. When he’s around, I have to be careful with what I say, how I act, and what I wear, just to avoid anything ever happening again. That doesn’t feel fair to me. “He’s changed” is all I ever hear. But has he? Because he has openly said that if a girl dresses a certain way, it’s okay for him to look. He openly whispered to my sister that he bet I was wearing a thong. My sister had to tell me to go change. Yeah, that’s what change sounds like for sure. How dumb do you have to be to believe that? I guess all of these thoughts are coming from the fact that I just saw him. I hate seeing him. I hate the sound of his voice. Something about his voice makes me so uncomfortable and just so uneasy. I know I sound crazy, but his voice makes my stomach turn. I feel crazy who feels like this toward their brother? This complete uneasy feeling, the mix of anger and sadness. I understand I might just be crazy, but the feeling absolutely sucks. I don’t want to keep bringing this up in therapy either, because I know hearing about the same situation over and over has to get annoying. But in life, yeah this same situation floats through my head a lot.
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Saying What I Was Never Allowed to Say
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 December 12th, 2025
...See more I didn’t even plan on journaling tonight, but I guess I needed to get this out. I had therapy today, and honestly, it went better than I expected. Lori was really understanding. I was so worried that when I showed her the police report my brother’s statement she’d start seeing me differently. I was scared she’d look at me the way other people have in the past. But she didn’t. She didn’t pull away or act weird. She kept reminding me that what happened wasn’t my fault, no matter what he said. The relief I feel from actually being listened to and believed… it’s a lot. I’m not used to that. I know it’s her job, I know she gets paid to listen, but it doesn’t feel like she’s just doing her job. It feels like she genuinely cares and wants to help me, and that means so much to the girl who grew up with no one believing her or helping her. I spent years being silenced and told not to trust people. And honestly, when your own family can sexually abuse you, it really does mess up the way you see people. It makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone. But what happened to me is my story. I get to tell who I want. And when I talk about it, I’m honest. I don’t lie about what he did. He doesn’t get to use the excuse of being a kid who “didn’t know better,” because the last time he hurt me, he was a grown adult. I’ll never write out every detail of what he did to me  I can’t. I don’t ever want that down on paper. But I’m starting to talk about it. I’m finally letting someone in. And I’m so grateful to have someone in my corner. Someone who believes me, who listens, who doesn’t make excuses for him or tell me he changed, like that somehow fixes anything. It doesn’t. What he did will always stay with me. But at least now… it doesn’t feel like I’m facing all of it by myself anymore.
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Holidays With The Person Who Broke My Childhood TW:Sibling sexual abuse
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 November 29th, 2025
...See more I hate the holidays. Everyone else acts like it’s supposed to be this warm, happy time, but for me it just feels like dread. I grew up carrying the weight of sibling sexual abuse, and now I’m expected to sit in the same room with him like nothing ever happened. Today he hugged me, and I felt myself shut down. My whole body just froze. I couldn’t move, couldn’t react, couldn’t bring myself to hug him back. It felt wrong. It felt like my past reaching out and grabbing me all over again. I keep wishing he had never done those things to me wishing he hadn’t taken something from me that I never should’ve had to protect. And even though I know it wasn’t my fault, there’s still a part of me that wonders if I should’ve done something differently, if maybe it wouldn’t haunt me like this. If none of it had happened, maybe holidays wouldn’t feel so tense and miserable. I hate being here.I’m so tired of pretending I’m okay.
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What quotes help you keep going when life gets hard?
General Support / by Lindsey103
Last post
 October 10th, 2025
...See more Sometimes a few words can make a big difference, so I wanted to ask what quotes or sayings help you keep going when things get tough? Maybe we can all share something that reminds us there's still light ahead.❤️
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