Holidays With The Person Who Broke My Childhood TW:Sibling sexual abuse
I hate the holidays. Everyone else acts like it’s supposed to be this warm, happy time, but for me it just feels like dread. I grew up carrying the weight of sibling sexual abuse, and now I’m expected to sit in the same room with him like nothing ever happened. Today he hugged me, and I felt myself shut down. My whole body just froze. I couldn’t move, couldn’t react, couldn’t bring myself to hug him back. It felt wrong. It felt like my past reaching out and grabbing me all over again. I keep wishing he had never done those things to me wishing he hadn’t taken something from me that I never should’ve had to protect. And even though I know it wasn’t my fault, there’s still a part of me that wonders if I should’ve done something differently, if maybe it wouldn’t haunt me like this. If none of it had happened, maybe holidays wouldn’t feel so tense and miserable. I hate being here.I’m so tired of pretending I’m okay.
@Lindsey103
🥺
I cannot believe how heartbreaking and painful that was to have you hug him.
My heart genuinely goes out to you.
And no you couldn't have gone back and done something different, he could have chosen differently, to actually respect and cherish his sister and not betray her.
I'm so sorry this ruins the holidays for you 💖
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
@Lindsey103
A pleasure 💜
@Lindsey103 new here and Wondering if there's a way to add you as a person I follow so I can stay up to date with your threads?
@Lindsey103 or to be able to chat?
Lindsey: I’m so impressed with how clearly your able to describe the background, how you felt and how you’re presently feeling. That’s not easily done and, wow, you’ve done it beautifully.
I’m so sorry that you’re caught in this swirling prison of memories and emotions. Keep talking. This community is so lovely and I know that you’ll find a comfortable place.
