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SoulofFate
1 27,829 M Aiming High 9
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts1,237 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceDecember 30, 2015
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Trying to keep on creating as a lonely, disenfranchised artist
Depression Support / by SoulofFate
Last post
 October 26th, 2025
...See more I used to have this perception that being skilled at something is attractive to others, hence the stereotype that artists are very successful in romance.  That unfortunately was never the case with me, either because of personality flaws I can't pinpoint or being ugly. I've never dated anyone and always got rejected. At one point I started feeling that I should change myself so that women will find me attractive, but it would probably be best to channel my frustrations into creating. I was surprised reading up about artists such as Van Gogh and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec who died unmarried and lost their virginity to prostitutes (Lautrec is even featured on an incel page, with this quote I feel resonates with me "He was well loved by those in the art and writing community, just not by women without paying.") I suppose if I am to die alone and unwanted, I could at least have something written on my gravestone that isn't just "He couldn't find a partner" All input is welcomed:)
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Will plastic surgery buy my way into a relationship?
Self-Esteem / by SoulofFate
Last post
 November 30th, 2025
...See more I've always been rejected when looking for a partner and have started to self-improve hoping I could mitigate my flaws (personality, income, looks) and reduce chances of rejection and needless humiliation. As I was working on myself I started to feel like maybe my personality isn't as bad as I thought. After all, I've seen people who got away with far worse behavior and still managed to get into relationships. What they all did have in common is looks. They all look very presentable in ways I really can't. They are fairly tall with great heads of hair whereas I am bald at just 27 years old and extremely short in stature.  I think no amount of working on myself will be enough to compensate for these flaws because no matter how good the inside of a product is no one will bother to buy it if the package is unappealing. What are your thoughts? Should I just save for a hair transplant (and other procedures if necessary)? All input is appreciated, thank you. 
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How can I learn to live a life of solitude
Depression Support / by SoulofFate
Last post
 July 27th, 2025
...See more I'm 27 and have never been in a relationship and it's highly likely I will never be in one. At this point I'm noticing a pattern in which every time I'm taking an interest in someone it's never reciprocated no matter what. It doesn't matter if we have shared hobbies, interests or even values. It always seems like women just can't see me in that way no matter what type of woman I approach or how. This has been happening to me since I was in highschool. Every woman I come across will eventually be interested in someone else and only see me as an acquaintance (making a move only gets me rejected sooner rather than having to go through disappointment later on). That is if they aren't already in a relationship or dating someone. All I can ever really think of in terms of what makes me so undatable is that years ago I was told that I don't seem like I'm comfortable with other people, and come across as "hedgehog-like" inspiring great anxiety and negativity rather than confidence. In all honesty I have no idea as to how to change that because it's just part of who I am. I am an angsty, edgy graphic artist/designer and alternative rock musician who's very socially awkward, dry and nihilistic. Thus, being bad at dating might very well just be part of my DNA to begin with, I am grateful though that I at least have friends. I feel totally worthless when it comes to dating which is why I have no other choice but to retreat myself from it entirely and be content with living life alone. Who knows, perhaps that's what the Universe has in store for me anyway and I'm just choosing to resist it. 
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I'm starting to believe drawing could be an escape for me
Depression Support / by SoulofFate
Last post
 July 2nd, 2025
...See more And it's something that interferes a lot with practicing and enjoying a hobby because I'm concerned it'll take over my life and turn into negative escapism like a "drug". I feel like art may have the potential to make someone lose touch with reality. In my case I create sci-fi comics about characters and places, worlds that don't exist. My drawing skills got good over time but I feel like the underlying motives are just to create a fantasy world to escape into, like a video game only I'm the one designing and creating everything. What are your thoughts, can creating for whatever reason ever be a bad thing? I've never really neglected other important matters in my life in favor of creating but I'm scared not to do so in the future.
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I cannot handle the pain anymore
Depression Support / by SoulofFate
Last post
 March 29th, 2025
...See more I've been alone and unloved for as long as I can remember, I want to end myself.
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Worried that my passion for art is going to cost me a lot
Depression Support / by SoulofFate
Last post
 January 12th, 2025
...See more I feel like by being an artist I'm going to prevent myself from ever entering a romantic relationship. Let's face it, artists have never been respected in society even going as far back as the Renaissance period when it was seen as a low-paying, low-status profession. Most artists have died sad, single and lonely even if their craft has been personally fulfilling to some degree (there are exceptions of course but those artists likely had other things going for them). Art doesn't showcase physical strength, status and money if anything it is associated with emotions and sensitivity which are not masculine traits. In all honesty I wouldn't care about all this nearly as much but it's tough choosing something that gets in the way of experiencing love from a woman.
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It feels like I'd have to change myself or end up alone if I don't
Depression Support / by SoulofFate
Last post
 January 5th, 2025
...See more I feel like I'm turning into someone I don't want to be, I've been wrestling with these thoughts for a while now, it all started because I've never been in a relationship and always rejected whenever I asked someone out on a date. It started a rabbit-hole of crippling low self-esteem, constantly looking for what it is that makes me unattractive to women and finding ways of to improve myself, but the more I do the worse I feel and it gets to the point where I'm becoming somebody else to attract women. I've always been self-conscious about losing my hair early and being extremely short (5'7) and I'm not attractive in personality and behaviour either, I'm introverted, shy and overly emotional/sensitive, I'm a graphic artist who also plays guitar from time to time and makes sci-fi comics, I don't play sports or make a lot of money like other guys women seem to like, I'm not assertive or dominant, etc. I thought that my talents and personality maybe could be attractive to someone, but I've never met a woman who likes me for who I am, so that just leads me to be insecure and want to change myself to earn love and approval.
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