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Worried that my passion for art is going to cost me a lot

User Profile: SoulofFate
SoulofFate January 7th, 2025

I feel like by being an artist I'm going to prevent myself from ever entering a romantic relationship. Let's face it, artists have never been respected in society even going as far back as the Renaissance period when it was seen as a low-paying, low-status profession. Most artists have died sad, single and lonely even if their craft has been personally fulfilling to some degree (there are exceptions of course but those artists likely had other things going for them). Art doesn't showcase physical strength, status and money if anything it is associated with emotions and sensitivity which are not masculine traits. In all honesty I wouldn't care about all this nearly as much but it's tough choosing something that gets in the way of experiencing love from a woman.

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 January 8th, 2025

@SoulofFate

There have always been people drawn to an artist... it is hard to say if you are good or your art touches other who knows you can be successful.  

User Profile: JustSophia
JustSophia January 9th, 2025

@SoulofFate

Wow. You seem to feel really terrible about your passion - or at least terrible for having it. There is not a thing wrong with being a passionate or creative person. Nothing. Personally, I am drawn to that in people. I have often been deeply inspired by musicians, artists, and writers in my life, and I've found deep connection with them.  I've seen lots of expressive, creative people form long-lasting and wonderful relationships - including romantic ones and lots of marriages. I'm not trying to tell you that you're wrong to feel how you're feeling, though. I get how it can feel so isolating when the world doesn't seem to understand or embrace you, or when you're not finding the sort of companionship that you need. That's only natural. I'm sorry, though, that this is where you're at. It's clear that you're feeling pretty badly right now. I hear that. I hear you. Does your art ever help you express or release these things?

2 replies
User Profile: SoulofFate
SoulofFate OP January 11th, 2025

@JustSophia I think 'artsy' would work for a certain niche of women if I was handsome and had a certain kind of image to go along with it, like a bold, bad boy look and had a fun, rebellious and charming personality (or a tortured artist persona for those who desire that), but I'm more or less an 'average' guy in both looks and personality, so I can only buy my way to love, sadly.

1 reply
User Profile: JustSophia
JustSophia January 12th, 2025

@SoulofFate

What are you looking for in a woman? What would be the qualities you'd want in an ideal relationship (for example, trusting, compassionate, communicative,.etc.)?

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User Profile: determinedSea4370
determinedSea4370 January 11th, 2025

@SoulofFate Look, despite what you've heard, it's not about how masculine you are- it's not about money or strength or whatever. There are women out there who would adore being in a relationship with an artist, with YOU. You can even use your art as a way to help you find that relationship- art shows, gallery visits, art meetups, art classes. You being an artist is a strength, not a detriment. 

3 replies
User Profile: determinedSea4370
determinedSea4370 January 11th, 2025

@determinedSea4370 Oh, and because I just read your reply to that other comment, no, you don't have to be a stereotyped character or 'exceptional' to be worthy of love. You say 'average', but since you aren't any of the stereotypes you listed, I think you are actually more interesting and nuanced then you'd like to admit. And it's not the average dude that makes art, okay? Connect with others through your art and you'll find your way. Also, having money or having a girlfriend- neither of these define your worth. You make that art.

2 replies
User Profile: SoulofFate
SoulofFate OP January 12th, 2025

@determinedSea4370 Thanks a lot for the reply but honestly I'm just confused, if that's supposedly an attractive quality then what's the deal really? Why do I get rejected all the time then? What do women actually want? Trying to improve myself is incredibly frustrating because I only get conflicting ideas, become good-looking, get in shape, no that's not enough, get interesting hobbies and passions, no hobbies aren't a personality trait, better become wealthy and financially stable, no, no one will even know how much money you make, improve your personality, sense of humor, emotional intelligence, etc, no then you'll only be liked for these qualities instead of who you are, what does personality even mean then? Does anything mean anything in the context of dating? Sorry I'm just extremely frustrated. But again thanks for your input.

1 reply
User Profile: determinedSea4370
determinedSea4370 January 12th, 2025

@SoulofFate Women are individuals and they have different tastes- you aren't going to be able to appeal to all of them. The conflicting advice comes from people having different past experiences, different socio-cultural backgrounds, and different theories and tastes. There is no perfect formula for becoming attractive to women, because women are not a monolith. You're confused at which direction to take to improve yourself, but you are thinking about it in regards to getting a relationship. What do YOU like the best about you? What do YOU want to improve? Like, if you like art, do it. If you want to feel healthy and get in shape because you'd like that for yourself, then do it. You've got to figure out what really matters to you, putting women out of the equation while you think for yourself. What are your values? 

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User Profile: angelanddamion
angelanddamion January 12th, 2025

@SoulofFate hello im an artist as well and i just want to let you know that even tho times may seem tuff right now and it may feel hard or lonly i just want you to know that it gets better and it may not seem like that but just give it some time and i assure you things will turn out just fine

User Profile: livbinny
livbinny January 12th, 2025

Dreams can be expensive I get u, I was able to get scholarship n if something doesn’t work at least we have art n putting emotions there will always be possible :)))