Proving to my partner I will change
Hello.
I decided to join 7 Cups because I am struggling to find a way to prove to my partner that I’m going to change.
I have all the trust in the world when it comes to my current partner but my actions don’t prove so
due to past relationships and how many times I’ve been hurt. I do go into a very defensive shell when my partner gets frustrated with me and tries to tell me things are going to better myself. well our last big fight was very much The last of her patience she had with me.
she said I have to prove that I am growing and moving past the trauma or she’s going to have to put herself first and leave.
she’s done talking she’s done with the discussions
I just have to show her an action
I don’t want to have to wait to the next argument to show that I have changed.
The question & the advice I’m asking for is how do I show her this change before the next argument?
@VARE99
what does partner want changed ?
i am in same boat but on the other side .... he says things to vague for me to measure as change.
i have set some clear non negotiable goals on some items
but refuse to make a list or something he can go down a checklist to make him feel better....
if a relationship is to work you need to know what your partner wants or needs emotionally
i know what she wants. she wants me to recognize and change the toxic pattern i display when we argue. a lot of asking the same question but in different formats, not letting her hang up the phone, etc.
@VARE99
aah i see i too have trouble in the discussion /argument arena as i tend to bring up instances and tend to in his words" shoot for what causes the most damage"
I it either i learned behavior or defense mode but very tough item to change i am still trying