Advice On Open Relationships & How to Make Them Work
recently my partner and I have been discussing opening the relationship up after having an open agreement for 3 weeks while she was a board
I will say this has caught me by surprise as I thought this was just a one time arrangement.
I love her and we both don’t wanna break up however I am not ready for an open relationship and I do not know what baby steps I could take to be more comfortable.
we’ve talked about it and we keep going around in circles.
All I know is that she feels a bit restricted in the relationship by not being to be somewhat free. and I am not completely closed to the idea.I am more comfortable with arrangements.
Any advice on HOW to get more comfortable / compromising would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Vare.
The request coming from a woman surprises me. It's usually the other way around and hard to do (so I'm told, as I stay in a monogamish).
I think it is an idea worth exploring in my world .....
my thoughts on this is discuss what you feel an open relationship entails .........
Maybe it is just physical and one person can get their needs met that their current partner is not or can not meet.
if it is for other needs for companionship or emotional support etc then perhaps you need to find what NEED or WANT your partner is looking for and why that upsets or disturbs you.
You answered your own question. You say you are not ready for an open relationship.
Meaning, if you give in you go against yourself and you will start mentally torturing your self.
You know, you are entitled to put down boundaries. Boundaries crossed, end of story. It's simple as that.
I have a friend who went abroad for a year right after meeting a guy she really liked back home stateside. She agreed to stay with him but wanted an open relationship. He agreed reluctantly, I believe for fear of losing her. He did not see anyone else during this time while she did. I take it if you were to agree seeing as you’re not truly comfortable with the idea, you probably would not want to see anyone else as you probably don’t have that desire to be with someone else?
You can try to explore the pros and see if any of it would benefit you. If not, you have to be honest and tell her you respect her view but that you’re not comfortable and if it’s worth more than you she will have to leave you and have that open relationship and have anyone she chooses.