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Wigglewurps
448 M Embraced 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2020 Member sinceDecember 26, 2019
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Just Got Blindsided With a Breakup
Relationship Stress / by Wigglewurps
Last post
 May 21st, 2020
...See more We haven't been dating for long, only since December 2019. I was her first relationship, but I made sure to be the best significant other I could possibly be. I always tried my best to be patient and understanding (not that it was hard) and let her dictate the pace of things based on how comfortable she felt. We've had some wonderful times together, even with the sudden lockdown, and this past weekend was no exception. However, she suddenly started to go minimal and almost radio-silent with her texts, and yesterday asked to meet her at a park, where she dropped the bomb. She told me I was an amazing significant other, that I did everything right, that I was kind, charming, attractive, and fun, but that she didn't see us as romantically compatible. When I asked her to expand upon this, she pointed toward the intensity of our feelings for each other, stating that she didn't think she could return the intensity that I was putting forth. But I think that's okay, and even fixable. When I mentioned this, she told me she didn't see it getting any better. When I asked her how long she had been feeling this way, she said a week. She said that everything was so fun at first, but then the spark started to fade. But that's it. One week. One week of doubt and she was ready to leave. She was sure. She knew it wasn't just a rut, or the natural ebb and flow of a relationshp, she just knew. and didn't see it getting any better. Now I'm utterly destroyed and left wondering what on Earth just happened. Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm in grief but this doesn't feel like the end for me. It can't just end this way, and I don't want it to end this way. None of this makes sense to me because we things were going so well before she just broke things off like that.
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Remnants of past hurt
Relationship Stress / by Wigglewurps
Last post
 April 22nd, 2020
...See more Hi All! I hope you're staying sane in all of this madness. I guess I'm posting here because I needed some kind of outlet to make my fears known and just cast them off into the void. I'll try not take too much of your time. Long story short my last serious relationship ended with me getting cheated on and it utterly destroyed me. I hurt for so long and have since worked extensively on improving myself. I haven't had any long term relationships since then, mostly little flings...until now. I met an amazing woman at a party in early December and we've hit it off amazingly. We went steady in mid-February and the subsequent shelter-in-place order basically forced us to essentially "move in" together. I could gush about her endlessly but I'll save y'all from that. The point is that I'm really happy in this relationship and that scares the everliving shit out of me! I'm into her. She's into me. I'm really happy, and now something about just how much it hurt when I got cheated on keeps fucking with me. I'm terrfied. Logically speaking, I'm secure in this relationship. We're great for each other and I have no reason to believe that she'll hurt me in anyway but I'm still so fucking scared. I don't want to end up in a situation again where I'm fighting for a relationship with someone that is just trying to find a way out. I don't want to give my all to someone to who couldn't care less about me. Who is too chickenshit to just end things with me and just resorts to finding as many ways to hurt me until I'm the one who ends things. Who tells me she wants to work on things but is literally doing the opposite. There is literally no indication that my current partner would even dream of doing any of these things but oh my god I'm still so scared. It's been two and a half years since she fucked me over, but I'm still so hurt by all of this and I hate it. I hate that she still has so much power over me. I hate that she hurt me like this and that I'm just now realizing how deep it goes. Yes I'm "over her" in the traditional sense but the scars are still there.
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I just need to celebrate!
Relationship Stress / by Wigglewurps
Last post
 February 26th, 2020
...See more A little over a month ago I met a girl at a party and we hit it off REALLY well. She's in a little group with my friends in grad school and somehow I didn't notice her until that night? Either way, sparks flew, the chemistry was tangible, and I had her on my arm the whole night. I'm letting her dictate the pace of things. She's been pretty set in her independence for the past few years, but man it feels pretty cool to be the one that's getting her to maybe change that. We've been taking it slow and keeping things on the down low with the rest of the group. However, I've absolutely enjoyed peeling back the layers, finding out how much we have in common, and how well we fit together! I can definitely say that I am just absolutely sprung for her. The real cherry on top is that I just had the most amazing weekend with her! We did sushi and indoor rock climbing with my friend group on Friday, movie night with her friend group on Saturday, and a nice little hike (plus some ADORABLE pictures) on Sunday. I had so much fun with her and she really makes me like my favorite song does. The thing that really has me giggling like an idiot is that even though we're keeping things on the down low, one of our friends remarked that she seems to act differently when I'm around and that I seem to bring out something wonderful in her. I really like it when things work out!
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Find out what you really want
Relationship Stress / by Wigglewurps
Last post
 January 9th, 2020
...See more God where do I even begin? Hi! My name is Kat and until mid-December, my 2019 was punctuated by a nagging, ever-present feeling of loneliness despite numerous whirlwind romances and flings. In June, I confessed to someone I had known for three years that I had feelings for her. She reciprocated those feelings and everything was wonderful. The only problem was that she had recently been accepted into medical school and was slated to move across the country in August. Ouch. Despite the circumstances, we forged on and I had the most amazing three months I could ask for. And that's how the narrative went. We took the plunge, we had our fun, we said goodbye, and we left without any regrets. I was happy for her, she was happy for me, we were happy for the little amount of time we had together. Or so that's what I told myself and everyone around me. I don't know how true that was because early in September was when that loneliness really hit and I settled into a strange cycle. I'd meet someone, we'd hit it off, the chemistry would be wonderful, then boom! dealbreaker would hit and we'd go our separate ways. I felt so alone, so desolate, despite always being surrounded by the people I love. The fact of the matter is that I'm in a strange, transitory period of my life where we're all just trying to reach these lofty goals and really just do something with our lives. And in the social circles I run around in, it means that nobody is really looking for anything serious right now. And I just couldn't accept that. There was a hole in my heart and I needed to fill it because goddamn, I wanted it so badly. What made things even more frustrating for me is that all other aspects of my life have been going so wonderfully. Anything that I really, truly wanted, I worked for it and I got it. So why was I falling so short here? I was plagued by these questions and these perceived shortcomings, and as the end of the year grew closer and closer, I slowly accepted that 2019 would be another loss. That is, until mid-December when none other than the woman that moved across the country and left my broken heart in our hometown visited. At first, I was terrified. And after everything we had been through, and how much of a mess I had been, I had every right to be. However, when I met up with her for dinner, we settled into a familiar rhythm, and sitting across from me wasn't that woman who left my broken heart in our hometown. Instead, it was the woman that I had built a loving, supportive relationship with. The love was still there, but it had changed. There wasn't any longing, heartbreak, or pain from the doomed romance we shared. Instead it was just an aura of mutual love and support. When it was time to say goodbye, we both promised that we'd stay in each other's lives for as long as we could, and we'd continue to kick ass and make each other proud. Because at the end of the day, we still love each other. Even if it's morphed into something completely different. After that, I didn't feel lonely any more. I didn't have that ache. I didn't have that nagging frustration that something was wrong with me, or that fear that I'd stay alone and lonely. Heck, even my friends noticed that it had been a while since I asked about their single friends and colleagues. Because what I learned, dear reader, is that I was just trying to fill the hole that she had left behind. I never grieved, I never got closure, I never let the wound heal. I just slapped a wet rag over my gaping wound and pretended it didn't exist while it just festered. And now that I've gone and closed things up. I don't feel as alone because newsflash: I'm not. I just felt that way because I never let myself fully process what happened in August. And I know that this situation is unique to me, but it does beg the question: Are there any feelings that you're avoiding? Thank you for reading.
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