Just Got Blindsided With a Breakup
We haven't been dating for long, only since December 2019. I was her first relationship, but I made sure to be the best significant other I could possibly be. I always tried my best to be patient and understanding (not that it was hard) and let her dictate the pace of things based on how comfortable she felt. We've had some wonderful times together, even with the sudden lockdown, and this past weekend was no exception. However, she suddenly started to go minimal and almost radio-silent with her texts, and yesterday asked to meet her at a park, where she dropped the bomb.
She told me I was an amazing significant other, that I did everything right, that I was kind, charming, attractive, and fun, but that she didn't see us as romantically compatible. When I asked her to expand upon this, she pointed toward the intensity of our feelings for each other, stating that she didn't think she could return the intensity that I was putting forth. But I think that's okay, and even fixable. When I mentioned this, she told me she didn't see it getting any better. When I asked her how long she had been feeling this way, she said a week. She said that everything was so fun at first, but then the spark started to fade.
But that's it. One week. One week of doubt and she was ready to leave. She was sure. She knew it wasn't just a rut, or the natural ebb and flow of a relationshp, she just knew. and didn't see it getting any better. Now I'm utterly destroyed and left wondering what on Earth just happened. Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm in grief but this doesn't feel like the end for me. It can't just end this way, and I don't want it to end this way. None of this makes sense to me because we things were going so well before she just broke things off like that.
@Wigglewurps
I'm not an expert in YOUR specific situation but certainly have had my fair share of situations LIKE this. So, I think I could speak with some sense of a background in dating and understanding situations that arise where everything seemed fine then, the end. You might consider that her decision is not a knock on you personally, but there may have been many other factors that weighed into her decision. She may have had these feelings prior to the week, but wasn't certain of the decision she needed to make.
Regardless, her choice is done and from your angle she's likely expecting a sense of respect versus many attempts to convince her otherwise, pleas, and requests to rehash what she's already chosen. If any of these things happen, it will likely only further the chasm that has grown between you to the point where your connection is completely unrecoverable at any point, even just as friends.
I know you feel like you did everything right and you likely did. However, that is life. Sometimes these situations pan out, sometimes they don't. You learn from this situation, recognize that for whatever reason, in her opinion -- there wasn't enough romantic chemistry for her. Remember, that is just HER opinion, not the opinion of every woman you'll meet in the future. For your next relationship, perhaps "she" will not only appreciate everything you do, all the effort you provide but also you're intimately connected in a way that brings her happiness she requires.
In relationships, it's 50/50. There must be mutual connections between you both, shared values, shared commitments, and you'll find that nothing is ever perfect when it comes to human beings.
Later down the road, maybe she'll regret leaving you and maybe not. That isn't your concern anymore. In fact, what she wants, thinks, needs, or feels does not matter to you any longer because that relationship has ended as is your responsibility as a good and devoted partner.
Go out and find someone who will appreciate all that you bring to the table.
