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courteousStrawberries447
1 346 M Embraced 3
PathStep 27 Compassion hearts59 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes40 Current upvotes40 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceMarch 8, 2026
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Just diagnosed with Broken Heart Syndrome
Depression Support / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 April 26th
...See more So, went to the hospital for dehydration and severe heat exhaustion. But also got diagnosed with Broken Heart syndrome. The pain of losing my mom, losing most my family at same time, losing a man I loved who I thought was the last, turned out had to leave him due to his abusive actions, then my daughter even if only temporary cutting me off because seeing me go through these losses and struggle to regain my life was too much for her while pregnant. Though I may understand her doing so, it hurts not even an ounce less. Now to see all this stress and pain has seriously caused me health issues too. Honestly, makes me feel even more broken.
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Having a very hard time
Grief & Loss / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 April 21st
...See more My mom died 5/6/2023. Her birthday is Monday 4/20. Sadly Mother's Day is only a few days after her death. I thought the first 1 was the hardest. But I think this year it will be even worse. Haven't spoken to my daughter in more than 3 weeks due to her cutting me off. She cut me off because after I left dv relationship in November I have beens struggling get get on my feet. She states seeing and hearing about my struggles is too much for her while she is pregnant. Which means not only will I morn my mom's birthday without my mom, her death anniversary without a support system, and Mother's Day not only without my mom, but without my own child making some kind of a Mother's Day for me, and no support system. Doubt I will even have a soul check in on me during those dates. 
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Hi, I have BPD and this sucks
Trauma Support / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 April 8th
...See more I hate that I have this diagnosis. That someone who loved me hurt me so much and repeatedly that it messed me up for life. I had no choice then or now.
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I failed
Depression Support / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 April 8th
...See more I tried so hard to not get down and depressed. Tried so hard not to spiral. But yet again I nearly attempted, nearly went through with ending everything. Ended up after hours of crying and hours of hurting. Reaching out to 988. With their help I packed a bag and called for help. Now I am back out not much really resolved. Though I will have access to my prescriptions this time as they offer some assistance, may have access to therapy and care. Yet financial mess of life not resolved. Tomorrow could be homeless, and in another 2 days no phone service either. I want to cry.
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I have nothing left
Depression Support / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 April 3rd
...See more Things just keep getting worse and worse. I lost all friends and family. My beautiful daughter who is pregnant has removed every memory of me and every way for me to contact her. She has said she was stressed and her seeing me struggle and hearing about it was hard. We had come to an agreement or so I thought that neither of us would talk about our struggles for a bit and just hang out. Then out of nowhere she blocked me entirely on all platforms. Ended up having to voluntarily admit myself last weekend due to no longer feeling like I could not attempt and sadly made a full out plan with intent to follow through. Was released tried to let her know and friends know, no response no care. No hey are you ok, do you need anything. Nope silence. Wallet with my driver's license stolen, car I bought last year so I would never have to worry about transportation due to physical health limitations making other means of transportation difficult or impossible. Well was repoed by title loan company from title loan from a dv relationship. Now my only way to earn is gone as I was a delivery/rideshare driver. Rent due in less than a week and due weekly, phone will be cut off next week, can't even get ride to store or help getting medication I was discharged with. Can't get anyone to respond. It's as if I am not even here, like no one cares or can hear me. Faith is failing, I am begging for ways to earn again before time runs out. Reached out to agencies nothing. If given half a damn chance someone who cares enough to not let this happen as saving myself impossible at this point, I know things could be changed around. All I get is closed doors, left on read, unanswered phone calls, and oh that sucks. Anyway I am still here still breathing still trying my best to make it. I am trying so hard and have been for so long I am exhausted.
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So hard to spend time with others
Anxiety Support / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 March 9th
...See more So I want nothing more than to have people family and friends to hang out with. To do things with. But every time I talk to family friends or go out, someone always says something that triggers my anxiety. They start talking about drama, or their issues. And as much as I want to be there to help and support them. I am a mess right now. My nervous system is haywire, my emotions out of control, anxiety through the roof, and completely unhealed from trauma even going back to childhood. I hang out as I get depressed just working and coming home alone. This sucks.
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My mom died in 2023
Grief & Loss / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 March 11th
...See more My mom died suddenly of a drug overdose almost 2 years ago. I was her medical surrogate power of attorney. The one tasked with making decisions when she couldn't. The day she died I saw her multiple times and knew she wasn't well. Begged her to let me take her to get help she and everyone I know said I was overreacting she was fine. She died before dinner. She died and she could have been saved had she just listened, had anyone just listened. I am angry so angry I wasn't heard. That she died because I wasn't someone she thought was informed enough. I miss her so much.
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Hello new here
Newbie Hub / by courteousStrawberries447
Last post
 March 8th
...See more Hello I am new here. 
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