Having a very hard time
My mom died 5/6/2023. Her birthday is Monday 4/20. Sadly Mother's Day is only a few days after her death. I thought the first 1 was the hardest. But I think this year it will be even worse. Haven't spoken to my daughter in more than 3 weeks due to her cutting me off. She cut me off because after I left dv relationship in November I have beens struggling get get on my feet. She states seeing and hearing about my struggles is too much for her while she is pregnant. Which means not only will I morn my mom's birthday without my mom, her death anniversary without a support system, and Mother's Day not only without my mom, but without my own child making some kind of a Mother's Day for me, and no support system. Doubt I will even have a soul check in on me during those dates.
@courteousStrawberries447 Ohhhh myyyy! That's a lot to have to deal with all at once. I'm so sorry all these things happened in such a short period of time. My condolences to you on the loss of your mother. There's no time frame when it comes to grief. Please take all the time you need to heal. Your mom's birthday is approaching soon, so it's understandable that you've got all these emotions going through. 😞 I hope that within time you are able to find peace and healing and live for you all while keeping your mom's spirit alive within you. ❤️
As for your daughter and you not being on speaking terms currently, I'm sorry. That's another form of loss you're experiencing and it's apparent you miss your daughter. ❤️ As difficult and sad as it may be, I can understand your daughter's reasoning for why she feels she needs to be distant a bit. She's pregnant. While a congratulations is in order for her, remember she's got her own share of things on her plate all while her hormones get to her. She knows what she can handle emotionally and mentally and what she isn't at the moment. Please try and respect her boundaries while still being the sweet, loving mother you are and let her know you're still there. ❤️ She's probably feeling that she is doing the best for her and the beautiful life within her. She's a mom now too. 😀
Also, I have to tell you this-- I am super proud of you for finding the strength and courage to get out of a dv relationship. The fact that you got out safe is everything! Your life, wellbeing, and safety matters. You matter!!! ❤️ It may be hard right now, but I hope and pray that you can get through this and rebuild and land back on your feet stronger than ever. You are such a resilient, strong woman and I need you to know this! Hang in there. 💪 Take care of yourself.
@YourCaringConfidant unfortunately my sister just text me. And it's even worse than I thought. My daughter didn't apparently cut me off just because my situation was too much for her. But she now too blames me for my mom's death and says I either never should have been in the dv relationship or left sooner. That there was no realistic reason for me to stay with him for so long. And the rest of my family is gathering to get through the next few weeks with my kids birthday, death anniversary, and mother's Day. But I am not allowed to be a part of it, as my daughter is the one they all think deserves to be there. So I guess now I am to blame for everything and have no family.
I hope you are doing better than you thought today 💗
Happy birthday to your mother in the clouds🎂🎂
Be easy on yourself, enjoy the memories you had of her and remember she is always a part of you
- a stranger in similar shoes 💗
I hope you are doing better than you thought today 💗
Happy birthday to your mother in the clouds🎂🎂
Be easy on yourself, enjoy the memories you had of her and remember she is always a part of you
- a stranger in similar shoes 💗
@courteousStrawberries447
Hope you're faring better than you expected right now 🤍 we're here to listen if you need to talk it out. cups is rooting for you!
@unassumingEyes leading up to my mom's birthday was harder than the actual day, surprisingly. I did have someone reach out and spend part of the day with me which also made it that much easier. Thank you
@courteousStrawberries447
I'm glad you had someone 🤍 I get that, sometimes the dread is even worse than the actual thing. Funny how that works.
I realise you life is not perfect, it is the most important part of your grand child's life and they are being looked after by someone who’s life was good enough they can enforce boundaries protecting your grand child.
When you can work out what has been your contribution to the difficulties you have had you will typically have a better life. Sometimes miracles happen and people can contribute as a grand parent in a way they were unable to as a parent.
In your original post you said you shared your life’s difficulties with your daughter. My mum looked to me for comfort. She is correctly able to see my grans and granddads failings, it would be powerful if she could acknowledge areas she theoretically could have been able to function better. My gran was not warm my mum was she learnt to do better in that area.
I am glad you reach out for support here, supporting younger and burdening peers or elders is the way.
