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humorousFig7108
1 563 M Embraced 4
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupTeen Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceDecember 29, 2025
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I think I should be better
Self-Esteem / by humorousFig7108
Last post
 June 27th
...See more Not only on the part I feel bad about myself, but in the part I actually WANT to be better. All my life I've been living in melancholy, I put myself as the worst, but I don't do nothing about it and I feel like I am victimizing myself, which I think is true. I've done bad things, I sometimes don't even get why people say they love me when I, in my interior feel I don't deserve anything. It's embarrassing to remember the past, it's embarrassing to acknowledge what I did wrong, but I have to face it, and I want to take responsibility and once and for all be better, be happy. I have certain problem where I think everything is going to end up in a catastrophe, but in the end, sometimes it doesn't even happen. I am a people pleaser, and I hate that, I want to at least live as myself. Sometimes I feel hypocritical, sometimes I feel egotistical, sometimes I feel like I'm hurting others, but I want to improve from it. I want to talk to someone about this, because I'm tired of the guilt I'm constructing; 3 years and I still can't forgive it. I feel out of place like I'm a stranger in this world, sometimes it's hard for me to really put the other people's shoes on because I think I'm too focused on myself. Sincerely, I want to improve, I really do and I will try to reach for help.
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Irritability
Anxiety Support / by humorousFig7108
Last post
 April 20th
...See more I don't like being irritated, but unfortunately, every time I step in the school, I just lose myself. I am very quiet, and I always stay alone most of the time, mainly because I want to or just want to be alone at the time, funny thing, is that I feel alone. Maybe because I isolate myself a lot, or because I am afraid of coming to my friends the way I truly are, because I'm afraid I'll get laugh at or just be seen as a very weird person. I don't like being irritated, but everytime I step in the classroom it drains my energy, I can't help but curse at a low tone voice, but I think it's pretty noticeable, to be honest. I think ny expressions really says a lot, and everytime we have a work in groups I'm just thinking "oh no" and cursing and cursing. My classmates are loud and make stupid jokes, I just curse, curse and curse, to my insides and my mouth moves to curse, not loudly, but again, I feel it's pretty noticeable. I hate it because I wasn't like that. I don't really want to bother my classmates and when I think of my behavior every day I'm just regretful. I want to improve this, even though my classmates haven't said anything to me, I wouldn't like making them uncomfortable because I'm very evitative and grumpy, and of course, I would like to feel good with myself. I wake up thinking that this day will be exhausting, and hoping none of my classmates come to school, but in the end, I am most definitely damaging more and more. So yes, I would like to improve that.
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Social things
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by humorousFig7108
Last post
 March 5th
...See more Whew, I think I'm going to write a lot. I am young, not an adult yet, but I'm close to that age. I am ftm, I felt happy in the country I was born, because a lot of people accepted me there, for who I am. I moved out to another country, I had to start everything from 0, no friends, and well, my parents are just not up with the idea of being Trans, I haven't come out yet to them as I don't want to trigger discussions or deal with their dissappointment, I will wait until I am an adult to tell them that. It's still hard, I appreciate my parents a lot, but sometimes their comments just hit me hard on the heart sometimes. I did not wish to be born this way, and somedays I just wonder and daydream "how would it be to not have to suffer this?" "what if I didn't have to put so much effort in demonstrating what I am?". Classes are exhausting, and guess how they call me in the classroom? "The only girl in the classroom" because all my classmates are boys, and the teachers say "be gentleman to the ladies" in my head I'm just like stop this. I don't like having to say my name to introduce myself to others, I don't like writing it, and in general I don't like meeting new people because of this. Falling in love is hard, thinking of who might actually go out with me, it's just hard, and having a crush now, instead of feeling hope or happy I now feel guilty of having one, because I feel that being like this might pull people away, I can't fulfill physical expectations as I feel grossed out with my body, and I feel a lot of pressure. I appreciate the friends I made along the way, and I hope in future I could tell them who I am, I just wish they don't get away from me because of this. I feel quite lonely in this country. I love my parents, I really do, they always are there for me, but I don't trust them with me coming out, as I said, I will do it later, but I feel quite lonely these days, like if there's no hope for me to be me.
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Just sum situation
Anxiety Support / by humorousFig7108
Last post
 February 10th
...See more Basically I had a very rough day, I think, actually no, but it was overwhelming for a moment. It was like a snowball growing today of different challenges that might seem normal but for me, they aren't. I think it all started when me and ny classmates had to bring chairs and tables upstairs, honestly? I didn't do shi, just a little. The first floor was crowded, there was too much people, too much things, I think I couldn't be able to pass through the people as the space was small. I went with some classmates to a room, to chill idk, I didn't spoke to em either because they weren't my friends plus I don't speak the same language, in that room I felt nervous too, I felt I was doing nothing, I felt a lot of pressure, I felt they were looking at me or that by my presence I was making the uncomfortable. Anyways, I went downstairs to help again, and I felt bad again as I didn't know how to grab a table, again, too much people, I was sweating, everyone was I think so and that also made me feel uncomfortable. Some people had to help me because I didn't know how to move the table. I also felt bad because out of nowhere or because I wanted to help I interrupted some classmates to their way to put chairs and yeah. The other hour it was just my classmates playing, I had a headache. And in the other hour, I was without energy, I sat besides a friend, the teacher was explaining me something but my mind always darted off, and it was harder because it was another language. A friend tried to help me with some AI, but I wanted to like understand what I was reading so I was slow, but like she told me to write, but I still was slow, I was js feeling a lot of pressure as I also felt she was looking at me like "do it" zamn, also, she was like doing noises with the pen to signal that I write, but that noise was just so annoying that I just asked permission to go to the bathroom to get fresh air or just breathe. I now feel bad, because I think my friend took it bad or that I'm bad, like, I was stressed and so, I couldn't handle it more, and well, I don't know, I'm just feeling anxious about it. Just that, wanted to vent here
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About lying
General Support / by humorousFig7108
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more I was doing normal in my day and I remembered something quite embarrassing. It was me lying. Basically, I lie to get out of a situation, and I think that's what lies are supposed to do, but when you get caught, what? You'll deal consequences, like someone losing their trust or being left alone. I remember when I was a little kid, I felt a lot of pressure and felt like I had to be perfect with my grades, so when I failed, or just got a mediocre note, my family constantly remarked that I had to be better. I was sad and felt very bad for "dissappointing" my parents, I exaggerated everything with the paranoia that if I wasn't good they could stop loving me or being violent, but it was just my paranoia. I felt I shouldn't be feeling that way and when I started showing signs that I wasn't okay, I lied, about being sort of bullied by some kids. They did made commentaries but I really didn't care, so the teacher told me to talk to them, I cried because of course, why did I said that? I didn't mention anything, they just said they'll not do that again and everything got "done" except it didn't because that wasn't the problem I was dealing with. And after that, that same scenario repeated, but sort of different. I honestly hate it, I don't like lying, but sometimes I think is my escape route. I've lied horribly, about something very serious, which I'm not telling here because I'm ashamed of it, just to get attention from someone that I acknowledged didn't really care for me or wanted to improve. Although the person was dismissing me over and over, they didn't deserve that, I should've just said the truth and try to talk again about the relationship with the probability of being ignored again or I could've just let go, but I was very dependent. I feel very ashamed for my previous actions, and I'm working on being more honest and not put people in uncomfortable situations, and to solve my problems from the root. Lying constantly is like a snowball, it's better to acknowledge things than to make the situation worse. Just that, wanted to vent about it here because bottling up and always think about the past isn't good for me. I know there's good things about me and that I have to continue my life, even if my past actions were embarrassing, I still want to work on myself and improve.
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Being afraid of (new) people
Anxiety Support / by humorousFig7108
Last post
 December 29th, 2025
...See more I honestly am very afraid of having any social interaction at all, even greeting is a challenge for me, I greet when I'm confident enough sometimes, but others I don't greet, because I can be ignored or think they'll judge me. Yes, even saying a hi is difficult. I don't really like other people thinking I'm rude for not greeting, but words or actions do not come out. Good thing, is that even so, I've improved, but just a little, because not so long ago, like a year or so, I used to hyperventilate and really have anxiety attacks, for what I consider some trivial or not important things now, like a presentation or meeting people. Now I just...want to vomit? Not out of disgust of course but out of nervousness, but I'm afraid that maybe I'll just explode and have another one of the things I had a year ago, and I'd feel embarrassed of that too. I can't even eat properly, eating in school is a little hard, as there's too much people in there and I feel like there's no space, also because I don't like feeling like I'm watched while eating, because I feel everyone is judging even that. I have my friends at school, but they're just shallow, I just greet them and later on stay at my phone, but that is my fault I guess so. I don't know where to search, and it's hard because they speak a language I don't. I'm too afraid of being seen as someone who wants too much attention or I don't want to bother them if they're busy, so when I'm just about to text them, I end up deleting it. I don't really have friends in my classroom, I greet two people that greet me first and I tried talking with someone but I was too embarrassed to go back at it again. I'm the only "female" (I'm a trans man btw, just that I don't feel confident to tell anyone because I don't know them and yeah) And I feel if they discover that I would be more and more judged, and really being not taking seriously as if people think being a man is to be strong, funny and outgoing, I'm just shy, and I am seen as delicate, and I hate that, I really do. I don't know how to initiate a conversation at all nor continuing one, worse in a language I don't know. I miss being in my country because I had friends in there, now I have to start from 0. It's been like 9 months now that I've moved in and I'm still afraid, and I don't really know the language. I just am very afraid of change, but I have to deal with it and survive. I'm scared that if I still are like this in a future, then how am I supossed to work? When mostly a lot of works is about teamwork and communication. I am very worried about the future, and I know it's not the same being a student than a worker, but still, it bugs me out. I feel I do more mistakes than others. I just am very afraid of what others will say.
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