About lying

I was doing normal in my day and I remembered something quite embarrassing. It was me lying. Basically, I lie to get out of a situation, and I think that's what lies are supposed to do, but when you get caught, what? You'll deal consequences, like someone losing their trust or being left alone. I remember when I was a little kid, I felt a lot of pressure and felt like I had to be perfect with my grades, so when I failed, or just got a mediocre note, my family constantly remarked that I had to be better. I was sad and felt very bad for "dissappointing" my parents, I exaggerated everything with the paranoia that if I wasn't good they could stop loving me or being violent, but it was just my paranoia. I felt I shouldn't be feeling that way and when I started showing signs that I wasn't okay, I lied, about being sort of bullied by some kids. They did made commentaries but I really didn't care, so the teacher told me to talk to them, I cried because of course, why did I said that? I didn't mention anything, they just said they'll not do that again and everything got "done" except it didn't because that wasn't the problem I was dealing with. And after that, that same scenario repeated, but sort of different. I honestly hate it, I don't like lying, but sometimes I think is my escape route. I've lied horribly, about something very serious, which I'm not telling here because I'm ashamed of it, just to get attention from someone that I acknowledged didn't really care for me or wanted to improve. Although the person was dismissing me over and over, they didn't deserve that, I should've just said the truth and try to talk again about the relationship with the probability of being ignored again or I could've just let go, but I was very dependent. I feel very ashamed for my previous actions, and I'm working on being more honest and not put people in uncomfortable situations, and to solve my problems from the root. Lying constantly is like a snowball, it's better to acknowledge things than to make the situation worse. Just that, wanted to vent about it here because bottling up and always think about the past isn't good for me. I know there's good things about me and that I have to continue my life, even if my past actions were embarrassing, I still want to work on myself and improve.