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ilyroseybloom
1 489 M Embraced 4
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts53 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceMarch 17, 2024
Bio

she/her

i love reading and listening to music

Recent forum posts
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Autism is disabling and ruined my life
Autism Support / by ilyroseybloom
Last post
November 5th, 2025
...See more I begged and begged my mom to let me go to a public school because of how lonely i felt being in online school. And she eventually agreed. At first it was going good, my friends showed me around the school. But it hasn’t even been a month and i had two meltdowns. I wanted to prove to my mom and to myself that i can function in the world, only to start a process to go back online. I won’t be able to go to homecoming or prom, I won’t have a highschool romance, I won’t have any memories of highschool because i will be online. I hate being different, i hate that i can’t function like my peers, i hate how much autism affects me. I won’t be able to see my friends often. I’ll just be at home. It’s not fair
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i feel horrible
Personality Disorders Support / by ilyroseybloom
Last post
June 22nd, 2024
...See more i have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and the disorder ruined my life. i have really intense episodes that are usually triggered by a person or anything. and it causes me to split (black and white thinking) on people even myself sometimes. during my episodes i do and say impulsive stuff that i don’t mean and it affects/hurt everyone around me. the situation that happened with my friendgroup was my fault and i feel terrible. we were all very close especially me and this one guy in the groupchat, we both liked each other but we would fight alot because of my episodes and miscommunication. on the day of the situation i got in a fight with the guy im talking to and he called me bipolar. besides my friendgroup i have two other “friends” who i knew longer than my friendgroup. one of them was a guy. and i genuinely thought they cared about me so i told my guy friend what happened while crying and he asked me if he could join the group and i asked him why and he was like “no reason” and i stupidly added him without asking anyone. i wasn’t really thinking clearly, but then things started to go downhill. my guy friend got into an argument with one of the guys in the group, and then my guy friend started saying crazy *** and they were too and everything got out of hand. the guy i was talking to said he lost respect for me and he called me the b-word. everyone was saying how wrong i was and how i messed up. and at the time i was having an episode, it was so bad that for the first time in years i was hearing voices. in the end they kicked my guy friend and i left. i blocked them and they blocked me, the only people i stayed in touch with was two people from the groupchat who im very close to. but as the days past i was regretting everything i did when i was in the right headspace. so i told my one friend and she told me she would add me back, and she did, but the one girl in the group kicked me, the girl who i was there for and who i thought was there for me. anyways, i tried explaining what i did and why i acted the way i did, but i felt unheard. and i started telling them about my disorder and how i was really attached to my guy best friend because he was there for me at my lowest and i idolized him. but then they thought that i was emotionally cheating which wasnt the case. i felt like the only people who understood me was the two people in the group who was there for me. but we all ended up calling and i was trying to explain my side and how i felt like they weren’t understanding and then they said that i didn’t understand what they were saying, and then i found out the the girl in the groupchat who i was there for, told everyone that the reason she blocked me was because she was scared that i would split on her and tell everyone about her deepest darkest secrets that she trusted me with. and it absolutely broke me, and it angered me because no matter how mad i get i would NEVER do that. and it made me feel she thought i was a bad friend. i felt as tho they weren’t listening to me and had a full mental breakdown. i was yelling, crying, and i almost had a panic attack so i called my mom. and she calmed me down. i hated feeling like a bad person, i hated feeling unloveable because of a disorder i cant even control. i just wanted to be understood and have support. to be LOVED. but because of my stupid disorder i always ruin things. i don’t know what to do because they’re saying i lost their respect, i know i deserve it but i can’t help but feel misunderstood
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I feel unloveable
Personality Disorders Support / by ilyroseybloom
Last post
August 14th, 2024
...See more i was diagnosed with bpd (borderline personality disorder) a while ago, and i relieved to finally know what was wrong with me and to get treated. but now i don’t have a therapist. and my life has gone downhill. i was always so exhausted and irritable, and could barely get out of bed and eat or take a bath. and in those months i made new friends, and started falling for this guy, he was so sweet, but we would sometimes fight alot. he was there for me and so was my mom when i had an episode and tried to attempt. but i took it too far when i had another episode recently and splitted on him and told him he was dead to me. i never meant what i said and i tried explaining it to him but the damage is done. i feel so horrible, i feel like no one can love me because of my bpd. i hate having bpd…
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Adhd diagnosis
ADHD Support / by ilyroseybloom
Last post
March 24th, 2024
...See more today my psychiatrist/therapist just diagnosed me with innatentive adhd, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. and told me and my mom that she’ll get me the correct help i need. i forgot what else she said but she said she’ll give me accommodations for in-person school so i’ll be able to function. after the diagnosis i was searching about it and researching and found so many people that is dealing with stuff similar to me and i finally feel seen
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What is wrong with me..i don’t know what’s happening to me
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by ilyroseybloom
Last post
March 18th, 2024
...See more I always tell my family and friends how ive been struggling with my mood, and they would always say everything has mood swings. which is true, but my mood swings are..very bad. when i was around 12-13 i felt depressed, i couldn’t do anything but sleep and eat, and i barely ate anything. and it lasted months to a year. and then i randomly felt cured and happy. but then it would happen again. i would also feel very very angry/irritable and would make impulsive decisions. i went to therapy and they diagnosed me with bpd (borderline personality disorder) and felt right but wrong. because sometimes i would become very paranoid out of nowhere and i had hallucinations once. now at 15 it ive become even worse but it’s not noticeable. right now i feel like im going insane like- i feel so irritable to the point my whole body feels hot and i have a headache. my mind is all over the place and i feel like screaming. i don’t know what to do…
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