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orangepages24
257 M Embraced 2
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes14 Current upvotes14 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 21, 2020
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Hair Loss?
Eating Disorder Support / by orangepages24
Last post
 March 29th, 2022
...See more Any one else struggling with hair loss? When I was in the most intense time of my ED I was losing a lot of hair but in recovery I’ve gained a lot of it back when my diet became healthier. I had a short relapse and began losing hair again and even though it’s been a while since I’ve been back on track, I’m still losing hair at a really rapid rate. Any advice on treatment or recommendations on how to gain hair back?
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Anxiety about seeing Ex
Relationship Stress / by orangepages24
Last post
 August 9th, 2021
...See more I was in a relationship with someone for a year and a half. During this time he (my ex) was struggling with very severe OCD, anxiety and family issues and I was separately dealing with my own mental health issues as well. During our relationship, he would often tell me his worries and go into the details of his horrible (sometimes suicidal) mental state. I don’t think he did this to purposely cause me stress, he just needed someone to talk to during that super awful time in his life. However, over the course of the relationship I developed very severe anxiety issues with him being my biggest trigger. Towards the end of our relationship it got to the point where I would dread talking to him or texting him because I was so worried about what I might hear. Being so in love with someone and caring about them so much only to hear on a regular basis that they felt so low was devastating for a 16 year old (me then) to go through. Long story short, that relationship was traumatic for me. We broke up about 9 months ago with the intention of staying friends and still texted each other fairly regularly after the breakup. We broke up mid-pandemic and when the time came for school to start again he chose to go back in person and I chose to be online so we didn’t see each other at all after the break up. Until, a school obligation 2 weeks after the breakup when he wouldn’t look at me, talk to me, or even be vaguely around me. At the time I was shocked and hurt since we were able to communicate fine over text and what I should’ve done was made an effort then to clear the air or sent a message afterwards asking what was wrong but I didn’t. Instead after that day our contact with each other faded into nothing. We had to see each other once a week for months because of rehearsals for school (orchestra) and each time it was as if we’d never met. Worse actually. It was and is unbearably awkward between us. As I said before, when we were actively dating he was the biggest anxiety trigger for me but once we were apart it became so much worse. I’d get panic attacks every time I had to go to rehearsal just because the thought of seeing him with all of that tension and awkwardness was too much for me to handle. Now, the reason I’m writing this is because school is starting again and I’ll have to see him in person everyday. I’m freaking out. I’d like to be able to talk to him at least casually again because while we haven’t talked in nearly 9 months I do still care about him as a person but at the same time, the thought of talking to him at all makes my stomach churn. I’m not sure what to do because it feels inappropriate to text him randomly after 9 months of nothing dragging old things back into the spotlight in an effort to fix things. It’s just so awkward and I hate that he has so much power over me without even meaning to. Please help. It’s my senior year and I don’t want it to be tarnished with anxiety over a relationship that’s long ended.
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Want therapy but mom says no
Eating Disorder Support / by orangepages24
Last post
 January 13th, 2021
...See more My mom says I'm not sick enough anymore to warrant therapy. I've done a lot of recovery on my own, it's almost been a year (March) since I decided to begin recovering and Id like to think I've come a long way. However, I know I'm still sick and I don't think I'll be able to get 100% better without actual professional help. Since I've done ok with recovery on my own my mom says I'm okay enough that I won't need therapy. I would be okay with more self recovery but I'm a high school Junior and I want to go to college far away but I don't know if I'll be able to fully prevent a relapse living a thousand miles from home. I want to be able to take care of myself without having to watch my every step just in case it could cause a relapse and I know I need professional help to do that. I guess I'm just a bit frustrated, I'll talk to my mom again soon, my birthday is in March so maybe I'll talk to my doctor then. Idk guys but thanks for reading. I'm assuming if you're in this group tab you're either struggling or you've struggled and so to all of you guys reading this know I feel your pain. You're amazing and lovely and I believe in you <3
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Unintentionally Relapsing :(
Eating Disorder Support / by orangepages24
Last post
 December 4th, 2020
...See more I've made so much progress over the past few months. I thought that I was pretty much beating my ED and I was satisfied with myself but today I realized when I was trying on a new pair of jeans that I'm still bone thin, I've barely gained any weight even tho for a while I've felt huge and like I was eating so much. Idk if it's because I've been wearing big sweaters lately cause it's cold and just didn't notice my body shrinking again or if it's cause I'm unconsciously restricting but I'm so so tired of this. I really was doing so good but it just keeps coming back everytime I think I'm reaching the finish line. It's something I've been dealing with for two years at this point and I'm so ready to just be done with it. I've talked to my doctor about therapy and treatment but right now it's too expensive. And it sucks cause when I looked in the mirror and was like "holy cow I'm really really thin" it didn't really bother me that much, I liked that I looked sick again and I really thought I was doing bettter :(. Anyways, thank you for reading if you've made it this far I hope you have a lovely day.
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Idk if I actually hate my friends or not
Relationship Stress / by orangepages24
Last post
 October 8th, 2020
...See more So last year (Jan 2019-March 2020) was a very difficult time for me. I was in the lowest and unhealthy mental state I've ever been in and was struggling to get through every day. Since then, I've healed a lot (quarantine has really helped with this) and recently I've started feeling like my old self again. This semester I'm doing virtual school and since the beginning of the school year I've distanced myself a lot from friends. During the summer the only person I really talked to was my BF and now we talk to each other super briefly maybe once or twice a day. The problem is, I actually really really really like the distance from not only my relationship but all of my friendships. I know self isolation isn't healthy but if that's true then why am I the happiest I've been in such a long time when I'm not spending hours everyday talking to/texting people? I love online school and the distance from people has really helped my grades and mental state. Another thing is a lot of friends I've had (my bf included) were very emotionally dependent on me. While this has gotten better, I'm still the "therapist friend". Does this have something to do with my relief? And last thing: the thought of texting ppl first and making plans gives me a lot of anxiety now when it never used to. Even if they're the ones who text first responding and keeping a convo going gives me a lot of anxiety. I used to be so social Idk what's happening but I'd appreciate some advice.
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Spilling my life story lmao read at your own risk (actually please help tho I need advice)
Relationship Stress / by orangepages24
Last post
 September 22nd, 2020
...See more I feel really weird doing this but I hope it'll be beneficial. Ive been with my bf for a year and a half now. Over the course of that time some extremely traumatic things happened to both him and me. It was a lot to take in within the first year of dating and we both became extremely emotionally dependent on one another. During that time both myself and him would tell each other everything that was wrong in extreme detail and the things that were wrong were...bad. Within the past few months (like since march) he's been getting a lot better mentally with the help of medication and outside support but because of the severity of what happened last year I'm terrified that something is going to set him off and it's going to get really bad again the way they were a year ago. My worry for him is so extreme that even the smallest things like him having a headache give me such intense anxiety that I basically have formed these walls around me where I almost "dismiss" him when he's trying to come to me with a problem because the anxiety is so bad. Around a month ago I decided I almost would rather not know how he's doing at all than know and it be bad. This being said, he's truly doing a lot better and all this fear is completely in my head. I know this but I can't help but be terrified for him all the time and in doing so I've stopped telling him anything wrong with me because the thought of him worrying about me the way I worry about him is unbearable to imagine. Sorry if this is grammatically hard to understand I'm having a bit of a moment lol. Anyways, fast forward till now. Because I've stopped telling him a lot about me he's kind of caught on and stopped communicating back. Which I understand it's my fault I just don't know what to do. I'm doing my best to start conversations but it just feels forced and hurts really bad to have regressed in our relationship so much. I just don't know what to do. Oh and another thing. I just got out of a really unhealthy friend group but this has left me with basically no friends or people to talk to because apart from them and my bf I have no one that I trusted. I don't want to lose him but at the same time I understand that maybe it's time to end things. I just don't know. Anyways thank you if you read that whole message I know it was a lot and I'm sorry.
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