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redCircle3878
371 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 15, 2022
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Betrayal trauma and insecurity
Relationship Stress / by redCircle3878
Last post
 July 23rd, 2024
...See more My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I know he is the perfect man for me and treats me like gold. For a whole year though, one night, I found out that when he brings his phone to the bathroom every morning it was because he was lusting over *** models and OF girls. I found that and I haven’t been the same since. I have also seen him countless times check out other girls in front of me, look them up online, visit many girls pages. It’s built this insecurity in me that is to the point where I am disgusted when I look at myself and can’t even go out in public with him without staring at where ever his eyes go, scared he’s going to look at another girl and what he’s thinking. I compare myself to every girl I see. I worry he looks when I’m not with him. Since I found that *** in his phone, he has definitely changed for the better and we have been much more connected as a couple, he doesn’t do that *** anymore and has done a lot to show me it would t happen again. but every single day I think of the times in my head where I caught him staring and once he even called me his girl best friends name when we were cuddling one night (this was towards the beginning of our relationship and they aren’t even friends anymore now ). But I still can’t get it out of my head. How do I move past all of this and trust him when he calls me beautiful now and truly trust in the fact that he’s changed and matured from this. How do I go out in public with him without feeling like I’m going to cry and throw up when I see another good looking female. How to I stop focusing entirely on wherever he looks and just enjoy living in the moment. I want to tell him everything that’s ever hurt me that he’s done so he just understands that I’m not crazy and can’t help but feel so strongly and hurt about this. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Help plz lol
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Comparing myself in my relationship
Relationship Stress / by redCircle3878
Last post
 May 17th, 2024
...See more I am having an issue that seems so stupid but is honestly entirely exhausting me. I am in an AMAZING relationship with the person I know I am going to marry. But I am having a hard time comparing myself to other girls and thinking he is constantly looking at those that are prettier than me. Clearly I have some self confidence issues I need to work on. A few months back I caught him looking at girls online like *** and OF girls and I’ve seen him aggressively check out other girls in front of me before. However, since then, he’s completely changed for the better. We are much more connected now and he constantly tells me I’m beautiful and gives me reassurance, nothing is ever on his phone. But when we are in public I am constantly on edge about this. I always look where he is looking and seeing if he notices someone in the room I deem to be prettier. If I see him even look I get so angry and upset. My whole mood is ruined and I feel sick to my stomach. I constantly analyze wherever we go together for attractive girls and see if he looks at them. It’s so unhealthy and I can’t seem to stop. I don’t even want to go out anymore because I will ruin our good time. He is very aware of this issue and does all he can to help. I just don’t know why I have this obsession and worry. I don’t know if it stems from what he did before or what. I just need an opinion on this and I knows it’s ridiculous but someone help me out before I exhaust him from all of it too. It’s just so hard to believe the “you’re the most beautiful girl in the world” when he’s had the urge to admire other girls.
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I need advice please
Relationship Stress / by redCircle3878
Last post
 May 31st, 2023
...See more I am in a newer, very loving relationship. I love my partner and I know he loves me too, but he has a friend that’s a girl that he is pretty close with. They don’t hang out a lot but they message pretty frequently. I don’t know why but I work myself up so much that he might actually have feelings for her or her for him and I make myself overthink it so hard. I get quiet when he talks about her and I can’t seem to control my jealous feelings. I know it is wrong and I am trying to not feel this way but I can’t seem to help it. They have known each other for a while and I am meeting her for the first time in a couple days, I am nervous. I truly do trust him but I don’t know why when it comes to her I have a sour taste in my mouth. What should I do?
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Feel like I am outgrowing a friendship
Relationship Stress / by redCircle3878
Last post
 January 4th, 2023
...See more I feel like I am outgrowing my friendship with who was my best friend. I think I’ve felt like I have to stay friends with her and we used to spend every waking moment together. She has really bad codependency and I am worried what would happen if I did walk away from this friendship. In high school I spent all my time with her and just recently got closer with my family because I never saw them because I was always with her. When I’m around her now I feel like I am forcing myself to be and I feel drained and find little things annoying. I feel awful because of how close we are, like insanely close lol. But I feel like I am moving onto a point in my life where I need change for myself and the energy I feel around her just isn’t suiting me and I am not sure what it going on. She used to be really controlling and loud and mean to me and I felt like I wasn’t living my own life, rather living through her life or living her life with her. She isn’t really like that anymore but I still walk on eggshells because she was like that for so long. I find that now, I cant open up and feel comfortable telling her things or sharing my thoughts because she has been quick to judge or snap back. I just don’t know what to do lol
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Any advice?
Relationship Stress / by redCircle3878
Last post
 September 16th, 2022
...See more I started talking to someone who actually seems genuine towards me, but I’m afraid to walk away from someone else who I am attached too, but they only seem want me for sex or when they need something (they sometimes act lovey dovey but I think it’s to put on a show), I know what the smart decision would be but how do I make it easier for myself to actually make that decision? I want to be happy, because expecting this person to show me love or attention is draining me. I want to be in a relationship and I want to be happy, but why is a guy not good for me getting in the way so much?
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