Betrayal trauma and insecurity

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I know he is the perfect man for me and treats me like gold. For a whole year though, one night, I found out that when he brings his phone to the bathroom every morning it was because he was lusting over *** models and OF girls. I found that and I haven’t been the same since. I have also seen him countless times check out other girls in front of me, look them up online, visit many girls pages. It’s built this insecurity in me that is to the point where I am disgusted when I look at myself and can’t even go out in public with him without staring at where ever his eyes go, scared he’s going to look at another girl and what he’s thinking. I compare myself to every girl I see. I worry he looks when I’m not with him. Since I found that *** in his phone, he has definitely changed for the better and we have been much more connected as a couple, he doesn’t do that *** anymore and has done a lot to show me it would t happen again. but every single day I think of the times in my head where I caught him staring and once he even called me his girl best friends name when we were cuddling one night (this was towards the beginning of our relationship and they aren’t even friends anymore now ). But I still can’t get it out of my head. How do I move past all of this and trust him when he calls me beautiful now and truly trust in the fact that he’s changed and matured from this. How do I go out in public with him without feeling like I’m going to cry and throw up when I see another good looking female. How to I stop focusing entirely on wherever he looks and just enjoy living in the moment. I want to tell him everything that’s ever hurt me that he’s done so he just understands that I’m not crazy and can’t help but feel so strongly and hurt about this. But I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Help plz lol