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Overthinking is consuming my life

Anxiety Support / by selfconfidentTalker5570

March 13th, 2025

...See more I can't stop overthinking. I feel like I haven't been able to put my feet down on the ground, like I'm just going through the motions and stuck in my head. For the past few days, my anxiety has consumed all of my thoughts and time, especially when I'm alone. I keep creating all these scenarios and putting pressure on myself and it's causing me to spiral. I've tried self-care, distracting myself, talking to friends/partner, exercising, or stepping outside and doing deep breathing….etc. I keep having anxiety attacks/emotional breakdowns. I'm not sure what to do to help myself get out of this headspace. My physical symptoms are causing me so much pain and adding to the stress as well. I feel really exhausted. and frustrated at myself because I feel like I can't help myself. I feel myself wanting to shut down and push everyone away and I think it's because I want to push myself into a depressive state to lessen my anxiety for a bit. But I've been avoiding that for my sake and cause I really want to be around the people in my life. I don't feel like myself at all right now and I don't want to lose them because of that. I just feel like it's negatively impacting me and everything around me no matter how hard I try to manage it.

Not sure what to do

Relationship Stress / by selfconfidentTalker5570

August 9th, 2024

...See more Hi my name is Ceci! Currently I’m going through a stressful time in my life. I am trying to find a new job and pursue a career. Work, home, relationships, and self issues are becoming overwhelming. I’ve been dating my bf for 2yrs now and we’ve had a lot of ups and downs. He’s not the best communicator. And he has yet experience his own mental health journey. He’s avoided it for years. I’m a very open, honest, communicative, understanding and caring person when it comes to talking to people. But I have been in abusive relationships in the past. Although my current bf has never physically abused me I still feel like he has done things to break my trust and make me feel I have to put my guards up to protect myself. He normally doesn’t curse unless angry and he’s never called me a name. We fight and we talk about it. But I feel like I’m always the fixing things, comforting him and reassuring him. Im more empathetic and in tune with my emotions so I can be sensitive and I tend to think about others before myself. I do have abandonment issues and I’m codependent. So I’m really struggling to know if I want to stay in this relationship because I love him and want to try and fix and grow together or if I’m just wanting to be in the relationship cause I’m settling. Recently this has been the things occurring….(sorry if it’s all jumbled thoughts and it doesn’t make sense) There was the problem with his drinking and he was hiding it from me, but I guess he’s not drinking anymore supposedly. He said he was gonna try to go back to therapy. He still hasn’t tried. He’s always acting childish. I’m always the one fixing things comforting him and reassuring him and I never get the same effort back. My trust in him is constantly wavering. He asked me last minute the other day during the time where we weren’t really speaking to come with him to meet his friend from boot camp. And I respectfully texted him back and said I don’t think that’s a good because we are not on the best terms right now and I don’t think I can just put on a smile and act like everything is okay. he was mad that I didn’t meet his boot camp friend and he lashed out and told me that I’m always unavailable to meet the people that mean a lot to him and his life. But he always tells me everything last minute and I’m always working plus, I’ve already met all those people a different time. He’s been getting so frustrated and bombarding me with questions whatever I’m anxious and he’s always putting his anger above everyone that he supposedly loves. He’s constantly being selfish. And then he just keeps breaking his promises or not upholding his word(as an example: I invited him to come with me and my mom to Florida to meet the rest my family for thanksgiving and he couldn’t come SOOO this year we are going again and I invited him and he said he will definitely go and I asked him over and over again that week to make sure and he said he wants to go and he will buy his ticket and so I asked my uncle if he stay with us at his house and he said yes. I was so happy and my heart felt so full. But then we had this fight and he said he doesn’t think he wants to go anymore). We were having a normal conversation about a festival I was interested in going to and I asked if he would like to come with and he replied no. And so I called him lame jokingly and he said Ceci why are you being ***? And I just got quiet cause I was in shock that he just said that and we didn’t talk the rest of the night. Then in the morning my mother texted me a rude paragraph about him leaving his hat in the bathroom and leaving the toilet seat up. I shared it with him and he got angry and he just straight up left and didn’t talk to me about anything. And then I texted him and asked him why he just left without saying anything. And he went off about how my mother is always being rude. And I told him I understand and he’s right that she is rude(my mom is a drunk so she tends to say things that are hurtful). But i said it’s unfair to me and us that you left since we didn’t get to talk about our problems that we have going on right now. And he said he just doesn’t want to see or talk to my mom ever again. And I said well that’s kind of impossible because she’s my mom so she is apart of my life. And he said so? She doesn’t have to be apart of mine. And I said yes I underStand that and she doesn’t have to be. But she is apart of mine so she’s still going be around especially when we take that trip to Florida. And then he said ugh does she have to be apart of your life. And I got upset and hung up the phone. And it’s been 4days since we have spoken but he wants to meet tomorrow to talk about things. I’m just reevaluating why we are still together. Should be waiting for him to change or try to fix things with me? Should I keep waiting for him to step up? Is he capable of growing? Im just so frustrated and confused and overwhelmed and sad and hurt. I don’t know what to do or what I am going to say. I’ve told him before that if he doesn’t fight for us and wants to break up I’m going to walk away and not fight for us either because y should I always be the one fighting for us when I’m not getting the same effort. It’s pointless if the other person doesn’t want to try too.

Struggling with intrusive thoughts

Relationship Stress / by selfconfidentTalker5570

August 18th, 2023

...See more Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2yrs now. We started off long distance cause he was in the military and now he’s back home. He and I have gone through a lot together. But about 5months ago he reached out to his ex (his first gf of 3yrs) to apologize about how they left things, I was okay with this because he seemed troubled about accidentally running into her the other day. After that happened we had a long conversation about how he didn’t want a friendship or anything with her, he only wanted to apologize and be done. He said that he didn’t think he could be friends with her because he still might have some feelings for her and that he wouldn’t want to ruin our relationship because of that. A week goes by and he changed his mind and wanted to be her friend and he wanted me to meet her and for all of us to hang out. I was upset because I didn’t understand why after our conversation would he think I would be okay with that. I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with that because of what we discussed. And he took it as me controlling who he can be friends with. He got super angry and we had a huge fight and I left to go home and we didn’t talk the rest of the day. The next day I reached out and asked if we could talk in person cause I figured he probably would’ve cooled down by now. He came to pick me up so we could go somewhere to talk and he was very angry still. I explained to him that I wasn’t trying to control anything he did or who he could be friends with, I was just kind of confused and hurt when he changed his mind so quickly after telling me the other day he could still be in love with her. He was still mad and started talking about how I don’t trust him and trying to come at me by saying I am friends with one of my exes. I told him that’s not the same at all because I was never in love with this guy and he does not have feelings for me at all and we’ve been platonic friends for 4 years now. He was just so mad and he don’t want to listen to my side of things. And he told me he packed my things last night and he wanted to break up and then started naming all these “reasons” why we aren’t good together, and saying we could just be friends. And I was sobbing and I puked a couples tiles cause I was so anxious. I tried to explain to him why we are good together and why I was hurt. And after this long 5hr conversation he apologized and said he doesn’t want to lose me and that he loves me so much, that’s he doesn’t want to break up cause that would be the biggest mistake he could ever make. I was not okay after that because how can you break someone’s heart and then take it back? After that fight/break up he told me that he was going to talk to her anymore and he blocked her. I’ve told him in the beginning of our relationship that I have abandonment issues and that I need someone who is patient and who stays to talk to me about things. After that I was so shut down and drained. The next day I started having so many intrusive thoughts. Why did he change his mind? How could he be so mad over this that he broke up with me and wanted to walk away from everything we have? Is he still talking to her? He was going to leave me. He packed my things to give back to me. All I felt was pain in my heart and I was so sad on the inside and conflicted and confused and hurt. He cares about me I could tell cause he was constantly trying to be there and ask me if I’m okay or what I need. Eventually I was able to open up a bit and tell him all the thoughts I’ve been having. He was able to answer the questions for me and have a long conversation about how I was feeling. Then I had a lot of medical issues, work stuff and family matters going on so I just had to snap back, and I did for awhile. Until one day his family members were wanting to meet me at this family party his mom was having and I had to work but I told him I could come after. He picked me up and I rushed to get ready and we were driving over when his mom called and told us his aunt and uncle left already and he was so disappointed, I felt so bad. I told him well hoping we can see them again soon. And the next day he told me that he doesn’t think that I try hard enough. I started breaking down cause all I want is to see him happy and I care so much about him and I try hard to make everyone happy all the time. He apologized immediately and told me he was just upset that I didn’t get to meet them and he shouldn’t have taking that out on me. But I was just spreading myself thin and I hadn’t given myself enough time to process things so I just had a mental break down. I was having a *** ton of intrusive thoughts about me not being good enough and wondering if he was talking to someone else and just being paranoid. And I started peaking through his phone which I knew it was wrong. And then he confronted me and asked me what’s wrong and what’s going on and also brought up that he noticed that I’ve been going through his phone lately, which he was fine with but also he wanted to talk about in case there is anything I wanted to ask him. And I was able to open up again and tell about my thoughts and how I’m not okay. We talked through things and I thought I was feeling better cause the thoughts went away again. Flash forward to recently. I had so much anxiety the other day and I accidentally yelled at him and called him a rude name. I felt so bad. But he got mad at me and was yelling what *** was that for? And really all I needed was a hug to calm down but he was already mad and I couldn’t ask for one so I just told him to leave me alone. Then later after I calmed myself I apologized and and explained what happened. And he was like that wasn’t cool to call me that name but i understand you were having a lot of anxiety. And we made up. But now I’m starting to have intrusive thoughts again and I’m scared he’s gonna leave. And I’m just spiraling. I don’t want to bring up the past again or make him feel like I don’t trust him. But I also don’t want to avoid him and keep all these thoughts in my brain. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just feel like I’m beating myself up because I hurt his feelings and I feel like I’m not good enough and I hate myself. So I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to leave and be with someone better. It’s not fair to treat him like he’s doing something behind my back when all he ever does is try to help and be there for me and actually be a good boyfriend. I don’t know what to do or how to stop having this trigger reaction…

Question

Anxiety Support / by selfconfidentTalker5570

April 14th, 2020

...See more Ok, I'm really confused about a situation I'm in right now and I need some help understanding. So my boyfriend recently broke up with me and I gave him like a week before I talked to him again about dropping his things by and getting my things from him. And today early in the morning I told him I wanted to figure out a time and he responded with ok. Then I asked him when would be a good time for him and he is ignoring me now. At first I thought he was busy so I just left him alone all day but then I seen he has been on social media and video games. His coping mechanism is to shit everyone out and think for long time periods when things are going on around him that he doesn't like or want to deal with right away. But Im confused still just about y he may not be responding or reading my messages. Does he need more time? Does he just not want anything to do with me? Is he avoiding it cause he doesn't wanna face the fact that we aren't just taking a break this time, even though he broke up with me? Maybe he's just hurting and talking to me makes him upset? cause he has depression too so sometimes we need to do the things that make us feel better so we don't go down that dark hole. I don't know, if be grateful if anyone could help shed some light on this situation.

Need help..

Anxiety Support / by selfconfidentTalker5570

April 11th, 2020

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