Feeling behind
Do you ever compare yourself to people your age and feel like you're behind in life? Maybe all your friends are getting married and having children, maybe you see a lot of them getting great promotions, or perhaps getting into a graduate school. And since you're not there yet, it makes you feel bad about yourself?
This might not be a universal experience for those in their 20's, but I do know that it's a common one. A great phrase I've heard here and there is "comparison is the thief of joy." It's not super healthy to compare yourself to others, especially if it's causing you to lose some of your self-esteem.
Part of being a young adult is being patient with yourself as you find your way. Everyone has their different things that hold them back or badly affect their quality of life. We don't know what others have been through or what they're going through now, but we do know what we have. Maybe we've been through stumbling blocks that slow us down while the person next to us has had smooth sailing.
Those stumbling blocks offer us a different kind of success; a type of success that is invisible from the outside. But you know what you've survived and you know what you've defeated! So, with that knowledge, it's good to remember that in young-adult life there are a lot of waiting games. But good things come to those who wait!
I used to think that way a lot, comparing myself to 'how good I am' whether I am being considered 'somebody to be with' or people getting repelled from me
It caused more harm than good
And after causing hurt to a lot of people who meant a lot to me and hurting myself
I finally realised
'Each is unique and special in their own place. The Universe is within us and around us and Mother Nature which has taken care of all of us so far will take care of us. We always keep fulfilling our wants and ambitions because it can give us happiness but somewhere we realise that happiness is our default state which we only need to accept.'
I am grateful I got to know this beautiful thing in life and also got to share it with wonderful people here
@Lonnie
Ohhh, that hits soo deep. It's such a soul stirring post🫶
If you ask me, a yes or no to the question. I will be honest and definitely say a Yes. Yes, I do compare myself to people and peers around only thinking sometimes that, why am I here, figuring out things existing with so much uncertainty.
But that is where the answer lies, figuring out things. Adulting is all about shaping ourselves into a version we desire.
I feel comparisons can be taken as a source of inspiration rather than seeing ourselves inferior. What makes that person so inspiring and fulfilled? How can I align my living with their good qualities? How about thinking it this way? Finding reasons what makes them great rather than thinking why we are not great.
I certainly agree with you that, patience is a key determinant when it comes to adulthood. Everybody has a different life story, their own stumbles but what matters is how far you came from where you were. That's a win in itself because we crave recognition but how about giving that validation and crown to you by you?
What do you think about this?
A really great insight it also builds a positive image about the people around us
Really wonderful tip
God bless
@SamDoc
Thank you for your kind words😊💛
Excellent response! You just made me realize that I can literally turn this all on its head. Compare those who are "better' than me so I'm inspired to do what can to be like them instead of just deciding that I could never be like them! So simple, and yet...thank you :)
@Lonnie
It's all my pleasure if it resonated with you💓
@Lonnie if comparing yourself to others and stressing about being behind was a sport, I would be in the olympic representation. I'm trying to focus on myself and my own life, understanding nuances but it is like a gut punch when I hear someone else is getting married, living their best life etc. As much as I am glad they are having a good time, there is always that feeling of sadness that others can have it then why can't I. I think I got a lot better in it lately, but it still hurts, with every year more. I'm 24 and feel like I'm nowhere at all
@Lonnie Good evening! I really resonated with this post honestly. I am in my mid 20s and absolutely compare myself to my friends who seem so far ahead of me. What really keeps me going is remembering that my timeline is not the same as anyone else's timeline. Sure, some people will have it figured out at 15, some at my age, some in their 40s, some in their 60s, and some maybe never at all; and that is okay. We all have our own timeline for things and the journey is just as important, if not more important, than the goals and destinations we have in mind for ourselves. We are often our own worst critics. I also always tell myself to take things one week at a time, one day at a time, or one hour or minute at a time if life is busy and overwhelming. I hope that helps others get through their days too.
Be kind to yourselves and remind yourselves how far you have come personally! Don't forget to enjoy the small wins too, not just the big ones. 😊🌞