relationship insecurites
hello everyone, I am currently dealing with some insecurities in my relationship and want advice or guidance. I do appreciate any replies and thank you for listening.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now and before we made it official, I found out he went out with this girl and the date went well and he told his sister that he really liked this girl. (i found out going through their messages, i know it is a bit crazy of me to do and it hurt my feelings along the way) the girl ghosted him and he was bummed out. for a while, thoughts of him still wanting her or thinking what they could have been still go through my mind even though he has proved that he loves me many many times. i cant help but think about it and it just stresses me out. i occasionally have the thought that i am the one he “settled for” and i am bot actually the one he wants. i know it is just insecurities of mine and he is a good boyfriend but i just dont know how to stop thinking about it.
@friendlyGrapes4152
If i read this correctly you read messages of a conversation that happened before you and now worry that he liked the other girl more or somehow settled with you.
This is a good example of how reading chats or messages can make us question a lot. Of course at the moment you write things that down the road read by someone else or even by you things seem different. have you spoke to him about it or does he know you read old messages?
there is no one answer he chose you .... if he acts like he is not into it or treats you poorly then question your commitment but not based on old messages and what if's
@friendlyGrapes4152
Yes, I agree. Healthy communication is a key to healthy relationship. Usually, It's better to talk out your mind to your partner. If he's around because he loves you, he'll support you and let you know that he loves you and those past relationship got nothing to do with your future. I hope he clarify things for you and clear your doubts 💛