35 + check in How are you today?
well I guess I am alright, I do what I always do everyday during the week.. That's get up 6am get myself ready then wake boys up have them take a shower and eat breakfast then have them online logged in to their virtual learning 😜🤪 help oldest by keeping him on task like logging in to zoom meeting for each class on time while assisting younger son navigate and he's the handful about trying to keep him on task paying attention to his teacher .. well some days are better than others.. so I pretty much right there with them except for their lunch break that's mommy's little bit of me time after feeding kids of course then back to keeping everyone on task again 😒 I really don't mind it but it does get tedious and repetitive.. so I try changing it up like on nice days not freezing decent temperature do classes outside on back porch or on lunch break goof off with boys . I don't have a social life don't know anyone don't go anywhere so none existent LoL I don't mind because I am getting quality time with my kids don't get me wrong want to have job be able to have little time out of the house and away from my kids but same time I don't have a working vehicle 🧐😒🤔kinda need one of those to get to a job . I could work from home yes only if I have computer or laptop which I don't and internet to hook up to . So not practical or feasibly going to happen any time soon.. this is my dilima need to work but can't not cuz I am lazy or depressed but actually do not have transportation or money to get what I need to work from home. So stuck in this rut of WTH am I supposed to do? Husband and I really aren't talking to each other but that's nothing new when we do ends up being a your not doing this or that or argument.. so probably good we aren't talking but it is getting annoying not making time to be with each other to connect 😒 I have tried,I have made clear attempt to get his attention but seems like he's not interested so I stop trying. I figure if he wants to be with me then he'll make an attempt but he hasn't. So I focus on the boys and their school stuff dinner and then hiding in bedroom for some quiet time . Kinda sad and pathetic right?I don't ask him where he is going who he is going to go see or do? Even if I did he doesn't tell me so it's like having a roommate no roommates talk to each other and spend time together we don't do that. I guess I have given up on trying to make him happy because nothing I do is right or good enough . He tells me how he hates me says awful stuff to me so I guess that sums up my existence. I try to keep myself busy with kids or doing something for me like art or watching movies. I feel trapped in situation I don't know how to get myself out of .I know if I was working I'd at least have my own money meet people and feel better.
Hi, I'm 48 so nearly in the 50+ group but here for now. I'm kind of down because I'm just so frustrated at myself for never ever putting in place the things I know are good for me. Essentially I am lazy. Every day I promise I will do it and then I procrastinate until it's time to go to bed, every single day.
A week from today and I'll be 35! I used to get really depressed around this time, nearing my birthday. Being single and living with my parents and a divorced older brother (ex-wife packed her bags and left him, I don't think she was ready to have a husband in her life). I don't feel as depressed this year, as I was finally able to share my thoughts and fears, regarding being single and getting older with my mum.. So, the worries are not as heavy. Although those thoughts and fears are still present, but it is not making me feel as depressed as I had been the last 8 birthdays.
I'm hoping this year will be better in all aspects. Year of the Tiger (that's me!). I know work will be a bit quiet, as I'm only working to cover vacation time of colleagues, they don't take much vacation in the first quarter of the year, after the coming week of work, I'll be off until mid-March. At least, it would give me time to focus on my studies~
I'm here for you!
Hitting 50 in a year. Struggling with loneliness. Tried going out but it feels so forced these days. The isolation is driving people nuts. I've lost touch with friends because they all feel so fake. everyone is just using everyone else. I don't like being alone but it's hard to just find someone to chill with. You know, go for a walk, watch a movie, just having a pleasant conversation. It's getting harder everyday. Not really looking forward to the future.
If anyone else is feeling this way, I can only hope types like us can find each other and just be happy passing the time. Cheers!
I'm new here. Im pushing fifty but still a couple years off.
Im here as I have to find support for myself. I experienced complex trauma via long term narcissistic abuse by a variety of individuals (i hit the magical trifecta - parent, relationship partner, and supervisor at work). These people are so twisted but anyways I've extricated myself from them all....the last to go was the supervisor who was cyberstalking me (i quit that place in 2014) I suspect to try to hoover me as recently as 2020 until I reported her behavior to her company's HR department, which finally seemed to do the trick, thank God.
Really isolated myself last couple years due to lack of trust in others. Shamed and avoided by so many people for struggling with a variety of issues I barely feel human not to mention expect to be let down. Am effectively estranged from my family due to their toxicity and unacknowledged dysfunction. Father was extremely manipulative covert narc, mother a useless doormat who let him do whatever because it meant she didn't have to actually live her own life, have any control, or make any decisions about anything, and sister while I don't term her a narc (I probably should) she has been aping my father's behavior pretty well, with extremely manipulative and abusive streaks. To be frank, I hate her and think she is a horrible human being. Family blames me for everything and uses my history of depression to invalidate any concern I raise about anything. I'm the family black sheep and scapegoat because I recognize what's going on and have tried to deal with it (remaining family members are in denial and do not want to deal with anything) before seeing it as futile and giving up. Have a supportive partner but it's not enough. Am running what is effectively a failing business and income is so low I cannot afford therapy despite needing it.
Money is so low I am worried about it all the time. Anxiety due to insecurity around money is off the charts. Cant sleep. Awake all night worried about how I'm going to pay for things and I'm not even tired right now (430 am my time) my head is spinning so bad. To say I feel like a complete failure is a colossal understatement. Life really sucks right now. No idea where to start sorting it all our, it all feels very hopeless and equally pointless.
Will try to make due with what I can find until I am in a better financial place. Kinda used to not getting my needs met which is ironically helping me get thru. Asking for help is very tough, it's a marvel I'm here, my trust in others is so low.
This should be in the intro section, but I don't feel comfortable posting this there, so here it is in this form.
@rationalPlace2270
Sounds very similar to me as well. I don't have the words for this. I feel most of us have to take it and be quiet about the problems we have. People nowadays have a tendency to prey on others weaknesses.
And then, there's the pride in us. Makes us become ticking time bombs with no where to explode. Lol.
Hello,
I am 40, my daughter will be turning 25 tomorrow. I miss her dearly, she is in CA she has her MA and I am in CO. I feel empty like my life no longer has any purpose.