Anyone out there?
New to this, not just the website but the whole talking about problems thing. I'm a depressed solo father of one beautiful 5 year old boy. Some days I get stuck in my head. I carry many scars from my past. I try so hard to be the father to my son, that I needed as a boy. I often feel like I'm failing him, as well as myself. Depression physically makes it hard to breathe... but yeah, I dunno.. there it is I guess..
@MrPariah
You're doing a great job because you're doing a good job. You understand the importance of being good, and you strive to do so. Raising a child is an incredibly difficult and responsible task. Let your son be your motivation for a while to persevere and be stronger. I think having a goal in your life is motivating. Hang in there and remember that you are valuable, and so is your life.
@Voodvins I wish this were true, but I'm busted up mentally and physically. I'm barley surviving my mental war. My son is the only reason I'm alive. I just wish I was more and had more to offer him. But thanks for your words, I appreciate it.
@MrPariah
whats the strongest thing is that you're willing to admit it communication is key to children and make sure they are happy because you're all they need ❤️
@MrPariah
Hi I'm here but probably not much help. I can't relate to having a child but have so much admiration for you having one. It seems like the most wonderful gift and the fact that you call him your beautiful boy says it all. I think we can all sometimes feel similar things in totally different circumstances. Maybe life here on Earth is supposed to be hard. But you're reaching out and you're trying and I think that's cool. I hope you have some lovely dreams tonight 💜
The fact that you are even aware and trying makes it a huge win..from a mom of a 17 year old who has turned into a wonderful young lady because I was trying💜
@Vylet1979 Thank you. I just hope that when he is 17 I can look back and think "yea, I gave it 100% every day". I hope one day I'll be able to see myself as not being a failure, for him and myself.
Depression sucks I understand been there and still dealing with it. Have you thought about any coping skills like writing, hobbies, maybe working out? I get how exhausting it is to be in your head and have a child to raise. I can imagine you are a incredible father to your beautiful boy, we often try to break the cycles that our parents created. 💓
@crimsonRaspberries1486 I do write things out as a method of dealing with things, but in the form of music. I'm sort of an amateur music artist.. it does help in some ways but sometimes it's not enough. I appreciate you, and all the others, for taking time to respond to me. It means a lot
That's awesome dude, what genre is your music? I think it's wonderful that you came to us with so much trust that we would be here, thank you, we will always be here for you. Are you and your son having a good day?
@crimsonRaspberries1486 Um, I'm not very consistent on genres. I dabble with a range, just depends on the mood or atmosphere of the lyrics. And some of my stuff I wouldn't even know what genre it would be considered lol. As far as how our day was, it was a good day. I was able to get out of my head for a bit. We went to the park for a bit then grabbed icecream on the way home. Thanks for asking. I hope your day was good as well.
Oh okay yeah I could understand, I'm glad you two got to spend time together. I can't imagine how hard it is to be a single father, my heart goes out to you.🩵it feels amazing to escape our minds every once in a while, it sort of feels like breathing for the first time!😃 What kinds of ice cream did you and your beautiful boy get??? 🙂
My day was pretty decent, better than the days I've had in the past I guess I hadn't been smoking nearly as many cigarettes today!
@MrPariah Welcome! 💫🤍 I wish you have a great time here 🍀 and things start to feel a little lighter 🤍 You're awesome, and you truly matter 💝 Sending lots of love your way 🥰
@fossilfellow Thank you so much, much appreciated
❤️❤️
Just on the simple fact of coming on and automatically putting it out there says a lot about your character and I truly believe that you're son is so lucky to have a father that truly cares... Not a lot of parents fathers or mothers truly care about how they present themselves or what they're doing to their children mentally or emotionally am I doing the right thing am I doing enough am I a good father or mother?? And for you to worry about that automatically makes you an amazing father we're human and we make mistakes and parenting is the hardest and I can't say this enough the hardest thing we can ever do so I know I don't know you but automatically I know that you're doing great and baby steps one day at a time I just remember you will make mistakes but as long as you are in his life and you repeatedly remind him that you're there and you love him your mistakes will be forgiven I'm sure and the outcome will be amazing
@naturesbeauty1234 Thank you. I never really looked at it that way before. I'm with him 24/7. So I'm always with him, just sometimes I don't feel like I am mentally. Because of depression. I'll be in some dark places and he wants to play, I kinda shrug him off at times and tell him to play by himself that day, but beat myself up mentally for not playing with him. I keep telling myself "he won't be little forever, one day he'll stop asking to play".. and that makes me spiral at times. Because I want to do everything with him, but depression is paralyzing at times.. idk, doesn't make as much sense trying to explain it..
It makes complete sense I went through the same thing so I totally understand and you're doing your best you know. I know it's really hard sometimes I would force myself out of bed I had three little ones by the age of 23 so the times that I didn't feel like getting up I was pretty much forced to LOL I was outnumbered LOL so what made me get through the hard days is seeing them smile watching them grow and learn and it doesn't mean this is for everyone but the more you're around true happiness like children because they don't no the hardships of life. Children are so I want to say oblivious to the world they just know what makes them happy which is their toys and their favorite cartoon and their dad and mom you know and I find that if you're around happiness and love and good energy it will somehow take a hold of the depression and it will go away for a little bit you will absorb their obliviousness I guess I'm trying to explain it the best way I can as well but that's something that works for me when I was going through my sad times. Anyways sorry for the long message just remember baby steps find stuff that works and stick with it and push yourself because if you push yourself you will be surprised what you can overcome
today may not be your day, but whatever you do don’t give up. You may feel like you’re failing him but he sees you as his hero everyday. He loves you your his world. Your his father the Giant over all beasts his life. When you feel weak look at him he’ll remind you of your strength 💚
HI MrPariah! The fact that you're thinking about and caring abour the fact that you might fail your son, it s a proof of the fact that you are not! You love and care for him and that is more than a lot of parents do! You question yourself, you try your best! Some wise man one day told me to not worry so bad about dissapointing my kid, because they feel our vibration, our intention beyond the things we might say/do at some point. So, are your intentions good with your boy? Hope you see it too, because i can see they are! Take good care of you and your little one! God bless you both!
@MrPariah
Even though you are carrying many scars from your past, the fact that you are aware of them, and trying to be for your son what you didn’t have is great to hear.
Thanks for sharing!
