Dealing with dark thoughts here
Married with Kids here.
For the past few years i had so many failiures in so many categories it not only has physical consequences but it broke me to level i could not have imagined before. I always imagined myself as a stronger and hopeful person. However, recently cant escape the dark thoughts that become scarier with each Day.
I am in a deep financal crisis as a business owner and things are looking grim. However my main issues are the connection. We moved from our city to a different one few years ago and even though i work with People every Day, i can not find a single person i can share my thoughts to. Yeap. My wife included. Its a very long story but me and her became so apart in our life and philosophical (and religious) view of the World that i can not see how this can be fixed. She is great with the Kids and over all a good person, but it is impossible to share any of my thoughts to her.
Also i have history with betrayal and she did a thing (did not cheat, but it felt worse) that hurt me a lot few years ago and i can not seem to trust her about feelings again. I am also a proffesional screen writer and as such i always analyze and evaluate my psyche and i am pretry sure i know myself and can pinpoint every iasue. However, this makes my situation even scarier, cause i cant see to see a way out.
So.. Overall, this is my first try to reach for some Light, cause the darkness is rising and the fire on my torch is becoming weaker with each day
I dont know how this platform work but am looking for a genuine connection.
@BookyBG
It is so hard to be in a life where you feel you cannot share ..........
Moving to some places is tough i have been at a new city for a long time now still the same ... i think it is people ...... everyone stays an acquaintance and no one shares deep thoughts anymore ... frankly i wonder how many have deep thoughts anymore......
if you and wife are on different waves on some things have you had a talk ... not debate but in a way to try to see another view ? sometimes you can find some common ground ...... other times it is just amusing .... had a friend who spouted certain views but did not live it ..... hypocrites make me laugh.
@BookyBG - it sounds like you've been dealing with A LOT of different experiences and emotions, and all of it is sort of weighing you down. I first want to applaud you for getting out dome of the things you've been thinking and feeling, and admitting that you'd like to share what you are going through, with others. Thar is an excellent first step.
You said that these things have been going on for awhile, or that they happened a few years ago. I'd like to gently remind you that heaing takes time, and cannot happen overnight.
Two of the most important aspects of a marriage are communication and compromise. If you and your spouse continue to communicate and be honest with each other, then hopefully trust will grow from there. If you are both willing to compromise, or see the other person's point of view, it may help you each to change your viewpoint a little.
I thank you for posting and sharing here. If you'd like to talk more in depth 1-1, please reach out to me or another listener. You can do so here - www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
