Looking for friends
Not sure where to start. I am looking for hopefully long time friends on here. I'm 35. Disabled so I have a hard time doing things. I also suffer from depression.
I also get attached easily and hurt easily which I'm working on.
When I'm not as depressed I like playing video games, drawing, watching tv. I do like going out, just prefer to go with friends.
As a friend I always try to be there.
I love animals, especially cats and foster them.
Right now I'm grieving my cat Hopper, and I feel so alone. I also realized I love hugs from people.
I've always been socially awkward, so I'm hoping to improve and even make friends near me down the line. (Not sure where to start near me if you know good places please let me know)
So if you're looking for a friend to chat with let's start. As I said I'm socially awkward so please let me know if I overshare or undershare.
Thank you for your time and hope to make some good friends!
Sorry to hear about your cat. I recently lost my beloved bunny. It broke something deep inside me. Still trying to recover. Your story and feelings very much resemble mine. Will be happy to be your friend.
@vforvenkata I'm so sorry to hear about your bunny. It is so hard to feel better. I'm doing better unless I see something that belongs to him. My other kitties help. Looking forward to getting to know you.
I can understand how it feels. I kept placing my love on one bunny after the other bunny continuously in the past years as bunnies died one after the other over so many years. That eroded me and wounded me repeatedly. But this time it's different for me. Because I refused to place another bunny this time although I have many at home. The bunny that died lived in my bedroom, always there during my most sensitive times. He crawled everyday on my bed, now i keep staring at locations he used to sleep, his water bowl, his mat etc. I never felt more lonely. I'm doing better too, but not completely there yet, it is still very hard to go on with my daily activities. Atleast I'm not in depression.
I hope you have someone around to check on you regularly?
@vforvenkata It is so hard. I finally had to put away his stuff so it won't keep opening the wound. I finally got my other kitties a vet exam and they are all doing great! My oldest at 12 years, the vet kept picking him up and hugging him. He got his first blood test and all is well. Teeth are great for his age and needed nothing. He also runs around like a nut. I'm so sorry you feel so lonely. It is very hard, I am here if you need to chat about your bunnies. My depression is managed by medicine. Hope to one day not need it. I don't really have anybody to talk to about my depression. They don't understand it. They also got annoyed with me about grieving my cat so I kind of just stop talking to them about it. It hurt since I always listen to them about anything they needed to talk about. Its why I started looking to online friends who understand.
@vforvenkata It is so hard. I finally had to put away his stuff so it won't keep opening the wound. I finally got my other kitties a vet exam and they are all doing great! My oldest at 12 years, the vet kept picking him up and hugging him. He got his first blood test and all is well. Teeth are great for his age and needed nothing. He also runs around like a nut. I'm so sorry you feel so lonely. It is very hard, I am here if you need to chat about your bunnies. My depression is managed by medicine. Hope to one day not need it. I don't really have anybody to talk to about my depression. They don't understand it. They also got annoyed with me about grieving my cat so I kind of just stop talking to them about it. It hurt since I always listen to them about anything they needed to talk about. Its why I started looking to online friends who understand.
It's good that your cats are doing well. How many cats do you have? What are their names? All fosters or your own too?
I'm sorry to hear you are on meds. How are you sleeping? All good? Hope you are taking food regularly. If you don't mind me asking who is in your family? Or living with you?
Yes, most of the people don't understand. Because they don't want to be pulled into pain they can't handle themselves. It's their defense system saying, that's enough of pain, let's move on. Not everybody is comfy with emotional depth.
I'm here for you when ever you want to talk. Not just to listen but to be there for you.
@vforvenkata I have 5 of my own, well 3 and my father has 2. From oldest to youngest, Boots at 12 years my dads, Zelda at 8 she was a foster that I got that might have been put down if I didn't get her. She supposedly attacked her humans. First day I had her she let me rub the belly. Next would be Minnie at 5, she was the runt from her groupd and almost didn't make it. I foster failed her. Faith at 3, I had to bottle feed her as her mom left her for dead, she sleeps with me everynight! And Donny also 3, my dad wanted to keep so another foster fail. Of course we love them all! I've foster over 300 so I think I've done well at not keeping more.
And I have 3 fosters right now, Victoria 2 yrs, Moonlight her kitten at 8 mths, Cece who I'm trying to make human friendly, she let me pet her yesterday.
I hate taking the meds, forgot once and realised how much I need it. Sleep is iffy. Due to my physical pain its hard to get comfy, I also wake up often. A good sleep is about 5 hrs without waking up. I do have sleeping meds from a doctor but only take it sometimes to not become reliant on them. I do eat though I'm trying to eat less to lose weight, I'm working with a nutritionist to do it right. I live with my father right now. He is disabled to so can't do much. My mom passed when I was 18. And my brother left a couple years ago and lives with our cousins in a different state.
I can't drive far so can't really visit my aunts, uncles, and cousins. They used to live close but moved states away.
Yeah I can understand that. I still listen to them if they need it as that is just who I am. And thank you, its so kind of you to say that. I'll probably take you up on that, and know if you ever need to chat I'm here for you too!
Wow, that's a touching story. I've always had issues with liking humans. Because most of the humans I came across in my life broke my trust and hurted me. So animals always had a special place in my hear and life. I see them as the victims of humans, forced to survive in horrible conditions of earth. Especially the pets we domesticated since ages. They can't live on their own nor does humans give enough support to them.
I only raised about 30 bunnies and 3 dogs and 1 cat myself. But the number 300 that you fostered make me salute you. You're an angel, engrave this in your heart.
If only I live nearby you, I would have done everything possible from my side to be there for you. But I'm sure, you will grow stronger. The fact that you are here already says so much about your efforts.
That's a beautiful family you have there. Although they leave a big hole when they leave, they also make our time on earth so much worthwhile.
I'm sorry to hear about the current health conditions of you and your father. Thank you for sharing such personal story with me. Although I do want to be friends with you beyond this app, I don't know how to and if it's something you would want. But I want to let you know that I'm open.
You shared so much about yourself, it's only fair I speak a little about me too, I live in india, I have 15 bunnies and 2 dogs and a cat right now. Although I feel guilty to say I'm their mom because all I do is just contribute financially. Because my ex husband is the one who takes care of them all. He does all the physical contribution. I have a 1yr old baby boy, my pregnancy stopped me from physically taking care of my pets, ever since, my ex husband does it. Me and my ex separated recently, couple of months ago. But still living together since we could not split household and pets and responsibilities yet. We are still physically and financially dependant on each other so we are taking this separation slowly.
Ever since I stopped physically doing stuff for my pets, it has been emotionally heavy on me. I felt the distance so much. Then my pet Bunny died recently and after that I could not take up another pet anymore. I've been having panic attacks depression, loss of purpose and stopped functioning all together. So I stepped back for taking care of my pets. Now I don't even go upstairs to see them. Just the dogs, bcz they are just clingy. I know I will them but I cannot take another loss. I'm beaten up. I'm ashamed to say this but I've given up.
@vforvenkata I hear you about people. I always try to help everyone out but when I needed them they were all to busy. But my kitties have always been there for me. Giving me cuddles when I need them. I too often feel so bad for the animals on earth. I just try to do what I can.
Thank you so much for the compliment. Not sure what else to say as I'm not really used to them. This site people have been so kind I'm still not used to it.
It does. I miss my fosters when they leave, and hope my kitties will live a long happy life.
The rules say we can't go beyond this app, I do wish they could add one on one chats for everyone and not just listeners. And I don't want to do anything to get us banned. I guess its for our safety.
Not really sure what to say, but let yourself grieve and heal from your recent loss. As long as they are being cared for. I don't know much about India but if there are places to help you grieve definitely do so. There are also websites for grieving pets, I went to a few and it did help. You might also need meds to help for a while. Take it a day at a time. Maybe have someone bring you a bunny to see you so you don't get overwelmed. Pet loss is very hard so it can and will take time. I lost Candy my calico 2 years ago and still grieve her. It seems the grief doesn't go away but gets a little lighter as time goes on. And just know that you gave your bunny a great life! That is what helps me, knowing I give all the love I can. And that they didn't end up on the street or in a abusive household.
Take care, and heres a virtual hug!
Hi. I also love animals. As of now i am carring for my senior cat. If online frienships work, let me know
Hi. I also love animals. As of now i am carring for my senior cat. If online frienships work, let me know
Hey there how are you?
@BlissfulNala I'm doing good, how are you?
I am also looking for friends. Maybe we can chat
@convivialSquare7814 I'd love to!
Let's be friends :)
@Ahmedtalat I'd love to! Looking forward to getting to know you!
@ShellyZz
Hi Shelly,
I am sorry for your loss. How can I be there for you, how can I reach out to you and talk to you?
@patientAcai8660 I'm doing better, as far as I know we can only chat here unless one of us is a listener. I put Hoppers favorite stuff away so that has help. And my other kitties are also helping. IU'd still love to chat with you.
@ShellyZz
I am sorry that I can't do more than chatting here with you. I am happy to do it though. I read that you love receiving hugs. I would have gladly given that to you. I am the same age as you are and I love animals, including cats. I'm sure I would have loved spending time with your little buddy too. I can relate to how you might be feeling. Sadly, I am going through loss at the moment myself and I understand why you hid his things. It must have been painful seeing them. I couldn't bring myself to touch anything yet, but once I feel a bit stronger I intend to do the same. I hope I can give you a bit of strength.
@patientAcai8660 I do love hugs giving and recieving them! I'm so sorry for your loss. I hated hiding his things, it felt like a betrayal. But it has helped my grieving. I miss him, but now won't break down thinking about him. Hopefully it will mean I can take his things back out in time and let the other kitties play with them. They just started using his favorite scratching post, the one thing I couldn't put away because of size. I hope we can give each other strength. I'm also here if you need to chat about anything. Hope your day is going well!
@ShellyZz
Thank you for offering me your support, means a lot! What helped you best so far with your loss?
I thought going over what helped could help you focus on this positive aspect, help someone who is reading, and perhaps me as well.
@patientAcai8660 No problem! For me my other kitties helped. Also my foster kitties. It made it so I have something to look forward too. I did have to put some of Hoppers favorite things away for now but I can now talk about him without crying.
What also helped was knowing I gave him tons of love in his life. He almost always got everything he wanted. Pets and cuddles whenever he asked. Outside time on a harness. (He wanted out without a harness but that is the one thing he couldn't have) He also got extra treats as he loved to take them to our other cats to share.
I also found just crying help me grieve. Amd finding other people who also loved their pets talking out it helped. Hope some of this post helps you and others out too!
@ShellyZz
Thank you for sharing how your journey is going.
Two years ago I lost my kitty as well, Teddy was very special to me, he was an amazing cat. He found me while I was walking outside all sad, in the middle of a deep, painful, severe depression and he made everything much more bearable ever since. He loved sleeping and sitting on me, he was very gentle and kind, he was sweet, never hurt me intentionall. He kept me company and never denied me of comfort. Cats usually need space. Teddy didn't want to leave my lap except for when he needed to.
Unfortunately he passed away. It was something the vet could do nothing about. That really broke my heart. At the time I didn't have anyone on my side either. I was going through a major trauma, everything came after the other. It felt very dark, lonely, depressing and it was way worse without Teddy.
Just like you, I first hid his things, feeling guilty and sad. It exactly felt like you did too: Betrayal.
In time I was able to talk about him and I tried to share. Unfortunately people didn't take my loss seriously. Some people don't understand that furry friends can become our friends, family.
A few months later that year I found a beautiful soul who cried when he heard of what happened with Teddy and shared my pain. It was an amazing feeling, finally someone understanding me and caring about the way I feel. I am still thankful to him for it. Now the pain I go through is his loss. I am hurting a lot. I understand how you feel. Time will heal. I will never forgot Teddy or him. Just like you won't forget your little buddy.
I thought I'd share so you know you aren't alone.
@patientAcai8660 Teddy sounded so special and loving. I'm so sorry for your loss. And like you said cats usually need space so that makes him extra special! Finding out the vet can't do anything makes it so hard. But at least you did what you could. I tell myself that too since I took Hopper to two different vets with the same news. (The first vet I found out didn't have a high rating so I got a second opinion.)
I lost my Candy girl 3 years ago and she loved her cuddle time. Anytime you called she came running. Her death wasn't a shock as she wasn't a healthy cat when I got her. Regular vet visits and was told she had a face deformity and would never breathe proberly. She loved to play fetch and lived to be 11 year old, before she had painful untreatable cancer and was put down to end her suffering.
And like you I had talked to some people, including family. One family member even laughed and said it was just a cat. That hurt deeply.
But Hopper is my newest loss. And I didn't even tell that family member since he doesn't understand. I do hope to take his toys back out in time. It helps to know that you did the same thing, it makes me feel less alone in my loss.
I'm so glad you found someone who understands and thank you for sharing. It does help knowing I'm not alone.
@ShellyZz
I'm sorry to hear about your family members reaction. Clearly Hopper was more than just a cat to you. You deserve to be understood and freely share your pain and get comfort.
If you have shared your experiences of loss here on 7 cups or elsewhere regarding Candy, do I have your permisson to check them out? Hopper as well, both of them.
@patientAcai8660 Yeah I didn't get his reaction. He had pets in his life so I thought he'd understand. Thank you. To me my pets are family. They have different personalities and want attention different ways. So of course I love them all. Hopper was my little gentleman. Sharing his treats and toys with the other kitties. He was also my first rescue kitten/cat from outside. He was the one that got me fostering.
I'm pretty sure I did share them both here. I know I posted on another site too. (not sure if sharing sites is against rules so I won't name it) You can check with my profile and it should show them.
newbie here so I have no clue if I'm allowed to say this, but I personally relate to you a lot. I'm not great with words and sometimes I simply have no clue what to say, but I'd be happy to chat with you
@Lostpebble Of course your allowed to say that! Its why I posted it in such a way, to find people that relate. I also don't always no what to say so we can chat together and figure it out. I've gotten much better since this site. Hope your day is going well and looking forward to getting to know you!
Very relatable. I’m about your age and have depression and issues with being clingy and overreacting. Makes making friends very difficult for me.
@sociableVillage4875 I'd love to be your friend! Looking forward to getting to know you. Hope your day is going well!
Hi there, we have very similar stories. I am also disabled and in my thirties looking for friends. Please reach out to me if you can i would love to chat. Take care.
@fairmindedShip2966 I'd love to chat and get to know you.
