Relationships/Preparing for a Date (Long Post)

This will be a long story. To give all the details and situation, and if you have spent the time to read to the end, I would love to hear your thoughts.

If you have seen a recent post I made in regards to my birthday, you may remember how I mentioned my mum's friend has 2 guys she wants to introduce to me. My mum plans to get back to the friend in a couple of months, which means I'll have at least 2 months to make changes in myself to be more presentable. My first boyfriend was back in the first year University, lasted for a little over a year, and I've been single since. So, that's like 17 years ago. A little more about me, I've never been into using makeup. Only makeup I use is lipstick. Nowadays though, wearing a mask, I don't even use lipstick anymore. I know that in reality, physical attraction is the first thing people notice, does this mean I need to learn (from scratch) how to use makeup? Or will just changing my clothing attire and getting a better hairstyle would be enough? What do people usually talk about on a first date? News, trends, fashion, work, interests, hobbies...etc?

I have another situation. There is this one guy I met in my high school years, since Grade 11. I met him online, and we have kept in contact since. So, that's like 20 years. Over the span of these 20 years though, we only spoke on the phone probably less than 10 times, and I met him in person, less than 5 times. We mainly kept in touch through chat. When I first met him online, he was still in Hong Kong, but was thinking of coming to Canada. He ended up living in Vancouver with one of his uncles for 3 years (where I was), then he moved to Toronto and that is where he currently lives. He hasn't dated anyone ever since he moved there, neither have I. We chatted again recently, and it seems that he wants a relationship with me. He says that he cherishes our friendship, but would like our friendship to advance to the next level. I voiced my concerns to him though. I said, although we've known each other online for 20 years, we have not really gone on an official date even once. Long-distance relationships won't work either, I'm currently struggling financially, so, I won't be flying over to see him. So, the only way to not have a long-distance relationship, is if he moves back over here. I actually told him that since we've never actually tried dating, it's hard to say if we're compatible as a couple. There is one main thing that I felt uncomfortable with him, it seemed that whenever he chats with me, he's always talking about going to bed with me. He claims it's normal for him to think that way, because he's a guy. But, to me, if that's all he's thinking about, I don't think I want that kind of relationship with him. I cherish our friendship too, we could be best friends. But the kind of relationship he wants with me, I don't think that's what I want. Oh, and another problem would be my parents. I haven't mentioned to them about him much, let alone, if he wants a real romantic relationship with me, I think my parents will oppose. They had always thought meeting people online is very dangerous, that they are like scammers, or they just want to take advantage of others.

So, I think I'd rather meet someone locally. The chat with my mum, I was able to hear her worries about me. Of course, it is what I worry about too. I also know that it is because of me, that my mum is always worried, stressed, and concerned, which has affected her sleep these past few years. So, I think once I begin to make changes in my life, I hope that it will lessen the weight off her shoulders, and that she'll be able to sleep better. She says she can only sleep for 3-5 hours per night. She's been drinking herbal teas before bed, and of all the many teas we've tried, she finally found one that actually helps. She could now get 5 hours of sleep. I know that once my life is more on track, her sleep would be better.

Will I be able to make enough change in personal growth in the next two months to have a better future?