Revenge?
I’ve talked a little bit about my husbands emotional affair. When I discovered it a year and half ago, I was furious. I reached out to my best friend. We’ve been friends since 5 and we are 40 now. She’s been through every season with me. But we live states away from each other. We contacted the affair partners mother, cousin, anyone we could find who knew her and told them what she did. It was a pain reliever in a time I was in so much pain.
Recently, I’ve come to find out that she has a boyfriend and he was with her during the time of the affair. He had moved away from his family in Texas to Ohio to be with her.
I’m torn if I should reach out to him and tell him? It’s been a year and half, but also feel like he should know the person he is with? Especially if he plans on having marrying this person in the future. But it also feels like maybe I should leave it alone and hope that karma pays her a visit. I don’t know if i want to open the wound again.
What would you do?
Leave it alone. I’m sure the woman realized what happened when your husband stopped talking to her. If I you get involved in her relationship, she may end up trying to get revenge on you too. Best to just be a little generous in this situation
Don't get involved.. You don't need the headache or the drama..
I completely understand you, but I agree with the others who replied before me. Leave it alone, the bf will probably find out sooner or later.
Good luck to you and hope you find peace 💗
I've been cheated on and I would want someone to tell me.
I rather know before i tie my life with some cheating POS
You can tell to me I will listen everything
This
Sorry you went through that 💔❤️🩹
thank you
Ok ok if you want to talk about it I am here to listen
@frankSummer9049 I really get what you're going through. If it were me, I’d tell him. I know it’s complicated, but imagine if it were the other way around, if you were in his shoes and never knew? I know it might hurt, but he has the right to know who he’s really with, especially if he’s thinking about something serious with her. I’d do it because, deep down, the truth is always better than living with that doubt. And if it were the other way around, I’d definitely want to know the truth too
Maybe talk to your husband, it was a difficult time for you and you should get closure. If you feel there's nothing to say to her or her bf that's fine but maybe you just need to have an open discussion about why you feel this way
I know the feeling, I was cheated on for 8 months and when I found out I told her and her family so they all knew in case they got back together. Petty I know, but felt so good. We were together 2 yrs and supposed to move in together within the next year. I am still broken
I totally feel this
I totally feel this
Reading some of these replies confuses me, I don’t get why people wouldn’t say something
If it were out of safety, I would understand. But not telling because it’s complicated or a headache seems odd to me. I have also been cheated on and when I found out I contacted all the people I could to warn them. One woman was like “oh yeah I figured it out too and I thought about warning you but then was too lazy” I wasted over a YEAR with someone who was cheating and the way she said she thought about warning me and then didn’t because it took too much Energy annoyed me. Not as much as the guy who cheated lol, but yeah I would want to know. Cheating can destroy people
So unless someone stays quiet for their safety I think telling is the best option and as my therapist says, it’s not “petty” or “talking sh*t” if they actually did the thing you’re telling people about. Obviously I’m sure there are exceptions but yeah if someone hurts people and you tell other ppl to warn them I think that’s a good thing!
@frankSummer9049 leave alone, I mean what could be a good outcome in this situation, it's just gonna hurt people
The good outcome would be him knowing the Truth, even it is painful. If he chooses to stay with her that would be his choice but chances are he would choose not to and not waste his Time with someone who isn’t faithful
People are too afraid of being hurt
I cannot fathom wanting a pretty lie over an ugly Truth. That’s no way to live and certainly not authentic
He deserves to know and be able to choose if he wants to stay with a cheater or better, dump her and find someone better
totally agree. that poor guy deserves to know before he makes a huge mistake
@AmethystLotus remember. An eye for a eye makes the whole world go blind
I don’t see how that applies to what I said
If the person were doing it to get even then yes you could lecture about an eye for an eye making the whole World go blind
But that wasn’t the case. Telling the Truth in this context was not to get even but because that clearly is their moral preference. As it is mine, as I stated, I would rather an ugly Truth than a pretty lie. That’s not “an eye for an eye”
@frankSummer9049
Ask yourself this question
Why this thought arise ?
What I am holding still of the past ?
Will it bring peace to you incase if you go to the guy and inform ?
She had move on in life had you ?
More we see why the emotions coming from and try to being aware healing is needed or not. The past be past. Else you will keep looking her life and will keep developing resent.
I understand wanting to get revenge and hurt them, and perhaps even warn the partner. But why would you tell families? That just unnecessarily hurts the families and seems a little selfish.
It’s a reaction to being hurt. I don’t think it’s selfish to lash out. It’s not exactly the healthiest but it’s totally understandable and their hurt feelings are valid
It also baffles me that some people on this thread seem to be putting down the poster for reacting and being hurt and concerned with their actions more than the cheaters actions
As my therapist says “it’s not talking S h * t abt someone if they actually did it”
They’re not reaching out and making up lies about the woman who helped her husband cheat on her, she’s literally just telling the Truth
I think if that woman doesn’t want her friends and family to know she is a cheater/sleeps with married ppl, she shouldn’t be one/do that stuff
